On behalf of Tri-State Dating Service I wish all of you a happy New Year.  I wish all of you a productive year in 2012. Here are 150 New Year’s resolutions from John Holt, the matchmaker.

1. Please make a resolution to end stereotyping of other single people.

2. Make a resolution to travel farther to meet the right person.

3. Men if you find a woman who is fabulous but has children give her a chance.

4. If you have never married, be open to those that have been married before.

5. Men it might be a good idea to stop chasing beautiful woman who have clearly decided time and time again that you’re not for them and focus on reasonably attractive woman.

6. Ladies and gentleman it is well known that we are never getting younger.  Men need to date woman no younger than ten years younger and up to their own age. Woman, please understand that men are looking for younger woman and date men up to ten years older down to your age.

7. Looks are deceiving.  Make a resolution to go out and meet a plainer looking person who might have a great personality and treat you well.

8. When you communicate with each other please make a resolution to tell the truth.

9. If you’re single and living with your parents make a resolution to move out on your own.  You just might get more dates.

10. Please make a resolution to stop manipulating everyone you come in contact with.  Controlling relationships are bad relationships.

11. Please stop blaming everyone other than yourself for being single.  It is no one else’s fault but your own.

12. Smokers you’re finding it hard to get dates.  Quit smoking.

13. If you have debt problems you’re not ready for a relationship, clear them up.

14. Make a resolution to have a strategy of acceptance of at least half the single people out there.

15. Men and woman, please stop sniping each other and complaining about one another.  No one is perfect.

16. Please don’t snipe matchmakers, event organizers, and people who are trying to help you find someone.

17. Begin to finally understand who you are and who you can date.

18. Become more flirtatious and smile at someone.  You just might attract them.

19. Ladies, money isn’t everything.  Besides, the label of gold digger is not attractive.

20. Go to counseling if you’re angry and frustrated about dating or maybe hire a dating coach.

21. Vow to never spend holiday seasons alone again.  Start in January looking for someone.

22. Discover the inner person as a desirable person to date.

23. Find someone who is wonderful and willing, take initiative.

24. Men could you move faster than a snail to meet the next woman.

25. Develop a search strategy that deploys 5 ways to meet 50 singles in one year. If you do this you will end up with someone.

26. No one is better than anyone else, just different.  Resolve to give people a chance.

27. Establish characteristics that have moral fiber in which you choose to go out and meet.

28. Adopt the laws of attraction.  Likes attracts like.

29. You have to look for potential partners.  Know how to find them.  Evaluate them with wisdom and kindness.  Make the decision to give them a chance not a 5 minute decision.

30. Men, take the lead and be men. Call woman within 48 hours after you get matched not 7-14 days later.  Show some guts.

31. Stop hiding your attraction to someone and simply ask them out.

32. It is time that men and woman ended the tension and mistrust of one another.  Make that a resolution this year.

33. A successful date can be where you simply found that you got along well with each other.  It does not have to be a marriage audition.

34. Successful dating means establishing realistic expectations, so make a resolution to be realistic. You’ll end the frustration you live with daily.

35. Make a resolution to develop an upbeat personality.  It is time to end the anger in this country. Anger is a deterrent to successful dating.

36. Date each other and have fun for a while instead of unhealthy intensity.  Why must you critique everyone’s smallest thought?

37. Please, if you’re overly selective then become overly patient about meeting people.

38. Instead of constantly talking about your unpleasant experiences with the opposite sex try to find positive ground.

39. Try to sustain your motivation long enough to realize the day of romance you desire.

40. If you’re looking for a soul mate then take away all the petty barriers you throw in the way.  Establish the idea that you can make the difficult happen.

41. Make a resolution to stay away from negative conversation with your date.

42. Do not personalize rejection.  Just try again.

43. Single person please end bitterness, escape a nasty attitude, and stop unfair criticism of everyone.

44. Dating requires a good sense of humor, find one.

45. Stop getting anxious about when your next date is coming.  Desperation is unattractive.

46. Learn to relax.  It is important and you will be viewed better because of it.

47. Step out of your own comfort zone and change the ways you meet people and the kind of people you meet.

48. Learn how to laugh or you will be viewed as a sad reject.

49. Not all long distance relationships fail.  If a matchmaker thinks you should meet someone farther away give it a try.

50. The central nervous system of dating and relationships is communication.  Vow to communicate effectively with each other.

51. Men, all you have to do to make woman happy is to do something she likes.  This makes her feel special.

52. Men, shed the man child label.  Woman really do not want to be stronger than you.

53. Ladies and gentleman stop using deceptive tactics to attract each other.

54. Men, please be active listeners on dates and stop the marathon embellishment of all your attributes while asking her nothing about herself.

55. Ladies and gentleman, you must make a resolution not to continue selfish behavior.

56. Men, you must develop romantic dates to take women on.

57. Stop making dating a mission, just let things flow naturally.  When you continue to pressure you will be alone.

58. Stop beating yourself up emotionally because you’re single.  It is ok to be single.

59. You will find the one and only by dating a lot of people.

60. Can you become capable of trusting people?  If not make a resolution to go to therapy.

61. Make a resolution to understand that there are no miracles in dating and no quick fixes.

62. Stop making up excuses to stay away from dating.

63. Ladies, we are all getting tired of the statement “there are no good men out here”.  Time to get rid of that idea.

64. It is time to end your fear of rejection it happens to everyone.

65. Stop blaming the previous relationship that ended years ago.  It’s time to move on.

66. Stop saying “no one wants me”.  There is someone out there who wants you.

67. Please stop saying you won’t get hurt again.  It might happen, it would be a shame if you remained alone.

68. Stop getting too busy to date, make the time.

69. Get rid of the self doubt and accept people into your life.

70. Throw into the trash all the books with dating rules that you’re reading.  Otherwise, those books will keep you alone.

71. Woman, instead of being a liar about wanting a nice guy maybe you can make a resolution to actually exclusively date nice guys.

72. Ladies nice guys are not all pushovers.  There are strong nice guys.

73. Attraction happens when you make yourself available.

74. Men, please express yourselves to woman.  Dating should not be a guessing game.

75. Choose social life over sofa life.

76. Ladies, fairytales are not coming true.  Isn’t it time you stopped judging men based on fairy tales.

77. Midlife dating is hard enough, maybe you men can find a way to end your midlife crisis and get serious about which women you date.

78. If you have consistently picked the wrong people to date, then hire me.  I have 20 years of experience.

79. Divorced people must forget the Ex and move on.  Having a war with your Ex will scare away any future possibilities.

80. Absolutely reject the idea you’re a victim.  Frustration and pain in life will destroy you.

81. Avoid gossip about each other, it get’s you no place fast.

82. Stop amplifying your problems.  An angry animated person is ugly.

83. Stop reverting back to the idea’s that failed you time and time again.

84. End your resistance to dating other types of people.  You might open up a new world.

85. Stop overanalyzing people. The constant analysis is damaging.

86. End critical thinking and open up your mind.

87. Have you discovered style?  It is important to dress to attract.

88. Men you score points when you do something for a woman that she likes.

89. Ladies stop you’re over sensitive reactions to every little thing a man does.

90. Integrate your thoughts into a give and take conversation on a date. This means potential for another date.

91. Make a resolution to overcome loneliness, by establishing the idea that acceptance of people is the way to go.  Encourage conversations with as many people as you can.

92. Take the idea you have about thinking critically about everyone else and turn it inward toward yourself and discover self awareness.

93. Say good bye to the shallow casino like gambling atmosphere of on line dating.

94. Discover through learning why dating for compatibility is difficult and a long process.

95. Appearing to be good is one thing, being good is another?  Make a resolution to do good things for people.  You will be sought after.

96. Vow to eliminate your fear about dating.  Most people are perfectly safe to go out with.  Just do it!

97. Get acquainted with yourself before you judge everyone else.

98. Being single is a constant mind game with optimism.  Vow to choose optimism over pessimism.

99. Every decision you make is your decision.  Make a decision to socialize, form connections, and date someone many times instead of throwing them away.

100. When you’re in groups of other single people stop sniping each other.  Make a resolution to embrace the good that is in everyone.

101. Make a resolution to fill the void of loneliness this year by offering companionship, understanding, sensitivity, friendship, love and romance.

102. Make a resolution to end your abstinence from dating.

103. You’re not entitled to a relationship.  Make a resolution to do the inner work to build a relationship.

104. Become a mentally healthy individual.  Be consistent in a stable personality.

105. Can we all take a deep breath or must we walk on egg shells all day long. Vow to make an attitude adjustment this year.

106. Having a paranoid preoccupation with finding a perfect person leaves you alone.  Embrace reality and give people a chance.

107. Adopt humor as a resolution.  I think we need more humor in life these days.  I think you will become popular.

108. You middle aged guys who have failed constantly at dating 20 and 30 something’s can make a resolution to wake up to reality and date woman your own age.

109. Ladies, don’t hate me for this one.  Make a resolution to exercise daily and eat healthy.  Men are more discriminating than ever about looks.

110. Vow to communicate smart.  Instead of useless chatter be relevant in the content of your speech.

111. Stop multi-tasking and pay deep attention to each other.

112. Make a resolution to deprogram your toxic thinking about the dating pool.

113. Vow to recognize your dating self sabotage methods and change your thinking.

114. Commitment phobias are terrible.  They keep you alone.  I bet you really don’t like being alone. Make a resolution to embrace company of the opposite sex.

115. Make a resolution to give people the benefit of the doubt.

116. Make a resolution to believe the basic goodness of humanity.

117. Make a resolution to nurture and help others around you.

118. Make a resolution to honor your word.  Your word will be the truth.

119. Make a resolution to stop playing torturous games with one another through texting, e-mail and on the phone.

120. Make promises to yourself that you will change your outlook regarding the opposite sex.

121. Vow to be less emotionally frustrated when it comes to your dating life.

122. Put aside your fragile personality and embrace the truth. Once you make a resolution to understand the truth about dating then you can find and accept those people who you can succeed with.

123. Adopting sound emotional health is a good idea in dating. Make a resolution to become emotionally healthy.

124. Instead of focusing on what is wrong with the opposite sex try to think about what is right about them.

125. Make a resolution to ask people you know to tell the truth to you about why you have remained single.  Keep an open mind about the feedback you will get.

126. Make a resolution to stop hanging out with toxic single people with bad attitudes, associate with positive people.

127. Stop taking life so serious that it affects your thinking.  Lighten up!

128. Men, make a resolution to access the huge amounts of single woman available.  If your resolution is to meet quality single woman in 2012 they are everywhere. 

129. Ladies, make a resolution to leave the idea that you’re a princess.  There are very few of you in this world that qualify.

130. Make a resolution to be kind caring people who nurture relationships.

131. Make a resolution to end cynicism and pessimistic behavior.

132. Vow to make dating a successful game instead of a hopeless game.

133. Start taking stock in your past, present, and future aspirations.

134. Make a resolution to expand your zone of tolerance.  This will help you succeed in meeting more people.

135. When engaging the services of a matchmaker, please remember miracles cannot be performed. Please resolve to be realistic, patient, and accepting.

136. Make a resolution to stop stereotyping people.

137. Encourage each other rather than discourage.

138. Go on a series of dates.  Focus on what works and replicate that.

139. Take things one date at a time.  You don’t need to use dates as a marriage tests.

140. Make a resolution to go on multiple dates with someone before you decide the future.

141. Try to find significant meaning in the person you’re dating.

142. Pretty woman vows to become more humble this year.

143. Adopt cohesion and identity building a community with personality, vision, and purpose.

144. Make a resolution to strategically change your dating pattern.  Extrapolating from your past failure will insure future failure.  It is time to break negative cycles.

145. Adopt the idea that you can’t rush success.  Adopt the process of realistic matchmaking.  Timing is everything in dating.

146. Make a resolution to study and find the true meaning of compatibility.

147. Men, vow to get serious.  When you’re serious you meet more quality woman.  When you’re a player, you get a reputation all over the singles community.

148. Let’s all adopt a sense of humor.  It is important to laugh.  Adopt laughter as a policy this year.

149. Make a resolution to update your image and style.

150. Make a resolution to become a giver rather than a taker.

I wish all of you a happy new year and much success.  I have seen deterioration in relationships in 2011.  I have talked to far too many toxic people.  I realize the stress many of you are under.  If reality can’t be managed then we live a lie.  In my opinion embracing reality and finding the goodness in it will deliver you from toxic thinking.  The new horizon is in any of my 150 resolutions.

John Holt

Matchmaker