I am not afraid to give out doses of reality. It seems most singles are frustrated with online dating websites. In general many singles are frustrated with dating. I will go further and point out that dating has become a lightning rod subject. Dating brings out raw human emotions otherwise kept in check. Those dating websites are not living up to what they were meant to be. If we lived in a perfect world the dating website would put you in touch with other singles fast. The people you would meet would be other than liars, cheats, thieves, predators, emotionally unstable and people you just don’t think are for you. It would have been perfect in a perfect world. I’m sorry, we don’t live in perfection. I know, here I go again. I don’t mind going here until many of you get it.

My dating coach friend Ronnie Ann Ryan the walking encyclopedia of common sense said “Matchmaking is about inventory of clients.” I agree that my pool of viable candidates is in my professional opinion capabIe . I advise all of you to look seriously into matchmaking as an option that is more viable than online dating. I ask you not to go blindly into either option. In all domains of assessment regarding attraction of the opposite sex it seems the lack of direction you get online is a disadvantage. Who do you go to for guidance? A machine can’t help you. How do you deal with the slices of desperation that you find in many of these online characters?

For many decades matchmakers have studied social, psychological and personality make up of the clients they deal with. Matchmakers can understand and work with all forms of human behavior. In online dating it’s just a small profile and a picture. This method hardly gives you a real assessment. There are no cues about human behavior in a picture and a paragraph. In online dating there is no feedback. In matchmaking you have feedback. The matchmaker can give you an account of personality, stature, image, and opinion on why you should meet someone.

Lately there have been a rash of idea’s that suggest that quick judgments used on online dating sites cater to the we must have it now while thinking you might have it right. In realistic matchmaking it takes a patient person who understands that there are thousands of variables to making a viable connection. A matchmaker can bravely take you into analysis about why you allow desperation and knee jerk reactions to guide you in online dating. The matchmaker can help alleviate your dating anxiety. I never suggest that people run out and date just to have someone. I think you must feel good with yourself alone in order to feel good with someone. Interactions can be evaluated by a matchmaker. I just spent 20 minutes on the phone evaluating 3 women that one of my male clients met at a dinner party last night. I dare say you don’t get that from an online dating site. A strategy to move forward was established. What strategy is established at an inline dating site? Can an online dating website assess your selectivity and deal with it? I doubt it. In online dating there is no way to separate positive correlation from perception. If you know about perception you can see it isn’t always reality.

What level of confidence should you have in me? I get you to think. I challenge you to change when needed. I teach you to end your holdout from reality. Idealism means failure in dating. I can tell you that a much more superficial crowd populates dating websites. Empty relationships form based on visualization. You’re not getting younger. Timing is everything in dating. Please don’t view settling as bad, it just means you are more accepting. I can tell you that settling means you will meet tangible, solid, successful, even tempered, loyal people. The matchmaker measures your progression toward a viable future involved in a relationship. A matchmaker can reason with you as to why you should end your period of being alone leaving self induced frustration behind. A matchmaker understands psychology. Online dating sites have no real psychological basis to them. A matchmaker can provide leadership. A matchmaker offers solutions. It’s all about a winning strategy.

Much of today’s frustration in dating is fueled by online dating sites. I hear nothing but frustration in the voices of many singles in online dating. I see great disappointment. I choose to take on the tough task of turning it around. My brand realistic matchmaking is a train running down the tracks throughout CT., RI., MA., and NY., hop on.

John Holt

Matchmaker