Dating Blog

Is chemistry magic?  Can fairy tales come true?  Did the media hijack and corner the market on image?  All of these questions are correlated to our psyche.  The term wishful thinking is a product of the questions above.  The very effects that are verbal messages, the visual illusions in dating all interfere with an ability to associate with an associated systemic approach to success. I ask, should I be the leader in setting you straight?  What a job it is being a realistic matchmaker.  It’s like this; imagine you are in the Sahara desert  you are dying of thirst the mirage appears of an oas

Today I got an email from a member of mine who lives in Needham Mass.  He doesn’t like the negativity in dating.  Neither do I.  It is human nature for people to be negative.  The news programs with the best ratings are the ones that feed you negative stories and information.  I call it Chicken Little media.  The sky is always falling according to media.  If we as human beings are going to press forward in the future we must have a vision that includes purpose and the uplifting of all human beings on earth. Whatever team you associate with, whatever organization, whoever you date or sociali

If you are under 35 this article is just for you.  There is a growing number of single men and women of quality joining Tri-State Dating Service from 23-34.  Many of you are leaving online dating sites because of the utter frustration you are going through.  Online dating has not cured loneliness if anything it has created a deception that rank’s up there with some of the biggest con games in America.   At the rate things are going for many of you opening the door to any meaningful relationship might not happen until you’re 40. The younger people who join Tri-State Dating Service are wonderfu

I am always delighted when reasonable thinking singles embrace realistic matchmaking.  This means they have found out that dreams, fairy tales and phony marketing from other dating services will not produce results.  Reasonable thinking single people have discovered that online dating sites are not going to help you meet anyone.  As a matter of fact these sites cause you to spend 12 hours a week communicating with people only to be frustrated in the lack of results. At Tri-State Dating Service you get a matchmaker with 20 years experience.  A person who will listen to you and provide professi

The real truth in relationship development is to end your thinking about failure.  My campaign these days is to show single people that a great relationship is the pathway to a lifetime of prosperity. I want to have a service that goes far beyond just giving people dates.  Let’s start from the premise that what you might have learned from pop culture, television, movies, romance novels and advice from your friends is not only wrong it is destructive to any success you dreamed about.  Ladies please forget that Prince Charming is on his way.  Men forget the idea that models with Barbie Doll lo

It never ceases to amaze me that in dating, single people can lose all sight of the obvious.  I see accomplished bright single people who know so many complex details about many subjects, yet they loose any grip on reality when it comes to dating. I have seen single people on a mission to get nowhere fast in meeting people, lacking any purpose, ignoring values in favor of superficial choice.  So what is the strategic intent to dating? Is dating a failed strategy for the unwilling to listen?  The fact is that my job is to diffuse your frustration.  In order to do that you must have a vision th

As Americans these days we have taken the quest for finding a permanent relationship to complicated extremes.  The media control over your mind using images that are from Main Street America adds fuel to the fire.  Pop- culture, magazines, shows like millionaire matchmaker, real housewives of whatever city or state, books, TV, It is all around you.  When you drink the kool aid you think in delirious terms.  The fact is that men are chasing images of Barbie Dolls when there are barely anymore than 5% of all women that look like this.  Magazines for both men and woman glorify images that came fr

All your actions are under a social microscope these days.  With social media and so many forms of communication you will be looked at more than ever.  I say that you should make a vow to promote the building of viable relationships and advocate for responsible behavior.  As far as the eye can see these days we live in a distressed, misguided, dysfunctional world.  Under my vision we all become responsible for nurturing relationships that build personal success.  In every walk of life we see people who don’t care about each other and further are selfish at the expense of others.  It is as if

Many single people convince themselves that thinking a certain way is the absolute way.  In realistic matchmaking there is another way.  I understand through great analysis that dating is psychological.  The dating process can be anxiety ridden.  Many a single person will run from rejection rather than embrace it.  Many times I hear single people are depressed.   Let’s examine why psychology has all to do with dating.      Do you feel like shutting your life down because the opposite sex isn’t perfect?   This is the starting point to destruction.  Thinking in terms of unrealistic expectations

Make no mistake about it.  Attitude has a great deal to do with successful dating.  Attracting more quality people with a smile and an open mind is the name of the game.  Complaining about the opposite sex and whining will get you nowhere fast.       Did you ever see someone walk into a room with a spring in their step, ready to go, and start a conversation immediately?   When you saw that person did you think that could never be you?  The biggest attraction mechanism in our humanity is confidence.   I am here today as a professional Matchmaker educating you about winning.  Confidence is a c

     Hi everybody.  I didn’t name my radio show Networking Singles for nothing.  I firmly believe that every living human being has value.  Each human being must make a choice to assert who they are.  My radio show is an example of how I assert my brand Realistic Matchmaking.  The listener’s of my show will tell you that I get you to think.  I want you to think about building a vast network.  Maybe you start by listening to my show every Thursday on 1380 AM WNRI from 6-8 PM EST.  Stream it on the internet at www.wnri.com. I believe in the power to persuade.  I believe that if I can persuade yo

     Hi everyone.  I am ever so happy these days.  I am happy because my personal New Year’s resolution is to analyze why people were miserable in 2011 and change that in 2012.  I am pleased to tell all of you that in the last 6 weeks progress is being made.   My constant communication is working.   My analysis of the future is brightening up.      I have been having positive feedback from my members who are entering into dating relationships either from going to the dinner parties or being matched individually.  Just today a woman from Weston C.T. who is a member here spoke of the dinner pa

If you had a wish what would you wish for?  I think many single people lament too much about their plight to finding the right person.  In the greatest charming moment in life what would be a valentine wish for you?   Would it be inspiration?  What could I say to inspire you?  I think wisdom is a good thing to wish for in dating.  I think that those that exhibit wisdom make the right choices.  Maybe you could draw from the many quotes famous people made in order to inspire you.  What about humor?  Could you wish to have more humor in life?  Maybe finding humor in single life will give you a

I hear about attraction all the time.  Many men base the decision to date women on visual attraction.  In this world we live in a known fact is prevalent, men are visual.  Men are more visual now than ever in my 20 year history of matchmaking.  This caused me to write this article out of great concern.  Why?  Because I think the journey starts when people can embrace the inner self.  I think many men need to look inside women to see the real appeal.  Dating smart instead of visual is what I promote. When it comes to women the mistake made is thinking potential can’t be a future event.  As a M

In the singles industry image is a key element to any marketing strategy.  When I got into this business I knew it was full of fluffy looking image messages.  I knew that a matchmaker like me had room to flourish.  Why do you think I am here after 20 years?  I am here because my image and the image I created for Tri-State Dating Service is about truth, realism and relationship building.  So please understand that it isn’t about how things look it is about telling the truth to singles.  I have seen dating services that look good in their presentation.  There is one out there now that changed th

Dating can be fun.  The very idea of people getting together can be purely for fun times.  I believe if you can have fun dates for 3-6 months without the intensity you will have a better chance to end up in a relationship.  It does take a certain fun attitude in order to progress in this idea of mine. It is no secret that relationships have complexities and great joy.  My idea is that the joy should be front loaded in the beginning.   It is acceptable to form friendships that develop slow and blossom. Human emotions sometime get in the way of starting a relationship.  The emotional state of

Have you thought lately that dating is like casino gambling?  Just throw the money down and see what happens. Dating in the minds of many is throwing you into a lottery. Well you may not be alone. The nomadic nature of running from on line dating sites to dances, meet up groups, speed dating, night clubs, activity organizations, social groups and yes ,matchmakers can leave you’re head spinning. My advice to you is to examine why you assume things about people. Going even further take a look at why the vast analysis you put people through may not be healthy. When men and woman date it is like

Hi everyone, it is time to begin to get a grip on reality, curb anxiety, and adopt a strategy of willing acceptance. In 2011 I saw an all time record number of bitter singles who are on this endless search for the perfect one! Even though time and time again I have in numerous ways advised you that there is no perfect one for anyone! Let’s embark on a new way of thinking. My first thought is, can we treat each other with tenderness? Can we show each other we are kind and caring? Thoughtfulness is a great virtue. I think about all of you daily. I keep thinking about how I can get men and women

Here I go again, some of you know that I feel online dating is a vast failure. The popularity of this craze came to its heightened state in 2005. The market has lost consumers every year since.  Just check out every complaint website on the internet you will find more complaints about online dating sites, you wont find any complaints about Tri-State Dating Service. Many of you go to online dating sites because you think it is a cheap way to meet people. Online dating sites are nothing more than an extension of the personal advertisements that frequented magazines and news papers. The benefit o

On behalf of Tri-State Dating Service I wish all of you a happy New Year.  I wish all of you a productive year in 2012. Here are 150 New Year’s resolutions from John Holt, the matchmaker. 1. Please make a resolution to end stereotyping of other single people. 2. Make a resolution to travel farther to meet the right person. 3. Men if you find a woman who is fabulous but has children give her a chance. 4. If you have never married, be open to those that have been married before. 5. Men it might be a good idea to stop chasing beautiful woman who have clearly decided time and time again that