Dating Blog

     Hi everyone.  I am ever so happy these days.  I am happy because my personal New Year’s resolution is to analyze why people were miserable in 2011 and change that in 2012.  I am pleased to tell all of you that in the last 6 weeks progress is being made.   My constant communication is working.   My analysis of the future is brightening up.      I have been having positive feedback from my members who are entering into dating relationships either from going to the dinner parties or being matched individually.  Just today a woman from Weston C.T. who is a member here spoke of the dinner pa

If you had a wish what would you wish for?  I think many single people lament too much about their plight to finding the right person.  In the greatest charming moment in life what would be a valentine wish for you?   Would it be inspiration?  What could I say to inspire you?  I think wisdom is a good thing to wish for in dating.  I think that those that exhibit wisdom make the right choices.  Maybe you could draw from the many quotes famous people made in order to inspire you.  What about humor?  Could you wish to have more humor in life?  Maybe finding humor in single life will give you a

I hear about attraction all the time.  Many men base the decision to date women on visual attraction.  In this world we live in a known fact is prevalent, men are visual.  Men are more visual now than ever in my 20 year history of matchmaking.  This caused me to write this article out of great concern.  Why?  Because I think the journey starts when people can embrace the inner self.  I think many men need to look inside women to see the real appeal.  Dating smart instead of visual is what I promote. When it comes to women the mistake made is thinking potential can’t be a future event.  As a M

In the singles industry image is a key element to any marketing strategy.  When I got into this business I knew it was full of fluffy looking image messages.  I knew that a matchmaker like me had room to flourish.  Why do you think I am here after 20 years?  I am here because my image and the image I created for Tri-State Dating Service is about truth, realism and relationship building.  So please understand that it isn’t about how things look it is about telling the truth to singles.  I have seen dating services that look good in their presentation.  There is one out there now that changed th

Dating can be fun.  The very idea of people getting together can be purely for fun times.  I believe if you can have fun dates for 3-6 months without the intensity you will have a better chance to end up in a relationship.  It does take a certain fun attitude in order to progress in this idea of mine. It is no secret that relationships have complexities and great joy.  My idea is that the joy should be front loaded in the beginning.   It is acceptable to form friendships that develop slow and blossom. Human emotions sometime get in the way of starting a relationship.  The emotional state of

Have you thought lately that dating is like casino gambling?  Just throw the money down and see what happens. Dating in the minds of many is throwing you into a lottery. Well you may not be alone. The nomadic nature of running from on line dating sites to dances, meet up groups, speed dating, night clubs, activity organizations, social groups and yes ,matchmakers can leave you’re head spinning. My advice to you is to examine why you assume things about people. Going even further take a look at why the vast analysis you put people through may not be healthy. When men and woman date it is like

Hi everyone, it is time to begin to get a grip on reality, curb anxiety, and adopt a strategy of willing acceptance. In 2011 I saw an all time record number of bitter singles who are on this endless search for the perfect one! Even though time and time again I have in numerous ways advised you that there is no perfect one for anyone! Let’s embark on a new way of thinking. My first thought is, can we treat each other with tenderness? Can we show each other we are kind and caring? Thoughtfulness is a great virtue. I think about all of you daily. I keep thinking about how I can get men and women

Here I go again, some of you know that I feel online dating is a vast failure. The popularity of this craze came to its heightened state in 2005. The market has lost consumers every year since.  Just check out every complaint website on the internet you will find more complaints about online dating sites, you wont find any complaints about Tri-State Dating Service. Many of you go to online dating sites because you think it is a cheap way to meet people. Online dating sites are nothing more than an extension of the personal advertisements that frequented magazines and news papers. The benefit o

On behalf of Tri-State Dating Service I wish all of you a happy New Year.  I wish all of you a productive year in 2012. Here are 150 New Year’s resolutions from John Holt, the matchmaker. 1. Please make a resolution to end stereotyping of other single people. 2. Make a resolution to travel farther to meet the right person. 3. Men if you find a woman who is fabulous but has children give her a chance. 4. If you have never married, be open to those that have been married before. 5. Men it might be a good idea to stop chasing beautiful woman who have clearly decided time and time again that

Christmas has always been one of my favorite holidays. There is always a certain feeling you get this time of year.  I will next say that for those that allow a feeling of enchantment, Christmas can be special.

A matchmaker must deal with two kinds of people this time of year. I deal with the festive, happy person. I also deal with the miserable venomous one. I certainly enjoy the happy festive soul much better. I have seen the happy single person get lucky and find someone. I have faced down the venom of the miserable and it get’s ugly. I get inspired by the success the happy one achieves. I feel sorry for the miserable one who can’t understand that being happy is attractive. Being single during the holidays can be a tough thing. I am here to tell you that being single is not a bad thing. Single people are just that, single people, just as good as any other person. I say merry Christmas to all single people. My existence is blessed with many of you. I am hoping that more of you are festive and happy. If you are miserable then keep it to yourself.

Being single this time of the year is a choice that 98% of you have control over. 2% have no control because you’re not accepted by most everyone. This is sad, however it is true. Both men and woman over the last 3 years have drifted apart in the dating pool. This condition has left many of you right where you are this time of year, single! It isn’t my fault or anyone else’s that you don’t accept each other. It is deep inside you. It may very well be in your DNA. Some anthropologists suggest that you’re predisposed by of all things, a scent that you get from one another. I think this is ridiculous. Did you know there is DNA dating theories out there that after a lab test you get matched with your perfect chemistry match? I think a lot of this never takes into account how humans interact, so I believe in many factors with personality being the main one. There seems to be no explanation why singles are attracted to what each other looks like. I have seen the best of the beautiful people end up in divorce. The men these days are as ridiculous about what you woman should look like as any time in my 20 years of matchmaking. If you aren’t on a strict diet and exercising 4 hours a day you might never pass the test. Now at Christmas many of the men will be alone and part of the miserable set. Ladies you’re not without scrutiny either. You’re single at this time of year because you have a list of perfections that all men must meet in criteria. The fact is that barely any of these men will meet your unrealistic expectations. I continue to promote realistic matchmaking as the brand of Tri-State Dating Service. I will forever believe in it. I will continue to spread reality. The reality on Christmas is goodwill. I am critical. I care about you. I want you to be happy. The world in general is not a happy place. Many single people are not happy. I hope you become enchanted at Christmas. I hope you discover the spirit. I say you should be heard. I say you should receive guidance. I continue to say merry Christmas.

Let’s be clear about you being single and alone on Christmas. It is a time to reflect, be honest with yourself. Take the spirit of Christmas to heart and search your soul. You are one of us, a member of the human race. I say, join us. I further say that you’re not better than anyone else. Be clear about getting ready to change from miserable to happy. Start giving people a chance. Please don’t say that you don’t know what you want. I think you know. The question you should ask yourself is, could I be unrealistic about what I want? Start to take a walk through a Christmas light display, do it alone. While you are there look around and see all the people who have found someone. The family that gathers there. The couples that are enjoying each other and make a Christmas wish. The wish you make will be like this. I wish not to be alone. I further wish to learn to accept people and learn about them. I further wish to be kind to people and not be cruel. I wish to be someone who fits in with people socially. Finally I wish for inner peace by realizing I am human and not better than everyone else.

Please remember, chasing each other and playing foolish games will never get you kissed under the mistletoe.  Just become enchanted with the spirit, make the best of this season. Catch the spirit. Be honest and accepting and just be your happy self. Please don’t confuse yourself. There is no excuse for venom towards the opposite sex. There is no room for complaining about no one being for you.  Just be honest with yourself. I think you will be surprised when you let go of your pre conceived notions.

I’m just that lightning rod matchmaker causing you to reflect. I want you to be happy. I want you to catch the Christmas spirit. It’s time to loosen up and enjoy Christmas. It is time to understand each other. Men and woman must begin to understand one another soon. I hope that inconsistency in your mind leaves you during this time of year.

A romance during Christmas can be electrifying, dynamic full of faith to each other. Maybe you think I am corny, maybe we need to retreat back to a warmer period of time.

The crazy idea of romance this time of year when many of you are making up excuses to be single can make you or break you.

Merry Christmas to all of you whether you agree or disagree with me. Remember acceptance is the spirit of Christmas, goodwill is the attitude. Accept each other for all the imperfection that exists inside of all of you. If you are capable of love then you will accept those single people as potential as they are.

John Holt

Matchmaker

On behalf of Tri-State Dating Service I wish anyone who reads this and the many members a very meaningful holiday season. I have permeated the world of singles and dating over the last 20 years. I must say these are challenging times. Men and woman should use this season to rebuild trust to spread goodwill. My unique perspective about the current climate finds me writing to you in spirit. The spirit of the season should bring us all to think. It is time to heal from the toxic thinking. It is a time to celebrate. This season is special. I get into a different mood, one of Great Spirit. Please u

I am not afraid to give out doses of reality. It seems most singles are frustrated with online dating websites. In general many singles are frustrated with dating. I will go further and point out that dating has become a lightning rod subject. Dating brings out raw human emotions otherwise kept in check. Those dating websites are not living up to what they were meant to be. If we lived in a perfect world the dating website would put you in touch with other singles fast. The people you would meet would be other than liars, cheats, thieves, predators, emotionally unstable and people you just don

Ladies and gentleman this is the single most important set of issues facing us in dating. Expectations in many cases are out of control. I read about this all the time. I deal with unrealistic expectations every week. I sometimes wonder where the origin of all this pie in the sky thinking comes from. The first statement I want woman to think about is, there are no good men out there. Why are we hearing this from woman? I am inclined to think that there must be some good men out there. I meet and sign up good men. I think what many woman are really saying is, there are no perfect men or men tha

In my usual profound opinion I can see nothing but success. I get up every day and see a goal. My goal is your success. We can’t blame the past relationships for your failure. It is time for all parties to be responsible. I think it is time to take a deep breath, spend a moment in reflection, and make a decision to go on dates with an open mind. I want all men and woman to treat each other better. I want you to open up to the bright future instead of creating your dim existence.

All new members of my dating service can expect a careful review of strategy. This review of your direction will yield a strategy based on realistic, open thinking. The strategy will eliminate a toxic past if one exists. My consultative powers will yield a winning attitude. Together we will win the prize of a permanent relationship. The gratitude will come at your wedding. I will be smiling that day!

In order to succeed we must eliminate dangerous knee jerk reactionary behavior. In dating you must slow down and agree to take the time to get to know someone. Knee jerk reactions to statements made in conversation may prove to form a perception however the perception may not be reality. Remember my brand, realistic matchmaking. The highest percentage of successful daters at Tri-State Dating Service is those who think long and hard. These people don’t let emotions control their decisions. This successful dater’s are not desperate. They behave in a very deliberate and mature way. The people who succeed have rid themselves from past failure. A good look in the inner mirror yielded change. It is all about attitude and I don’t quit. There is no giving up on you. I can turn it around with you if you’re open.

I get great satisfaction at changing failure into success. What is more, I free you of the constant bad feelings that exist because you have been unsuccessful at dating. I take pride in providing a service that is reasonable in price. The goal is to help you succeed at a lower price. I help you emotionally and save you money. This is a driving force in success. If your dating life is hurtful then get in touch with me. I can change it if you embrace realistic matchmaking. I deal with issues and turn it around. The brand is realistic matchmaking, it takes work, and you will succeed. I am a driving force. The competition is running from my philosophy, they won’t embrace your issues. I am willing to get up close and personal. I am ready to advise you of the steps to remediate your dating life. The end result is matching for a healthy relationship. Do you want to look at yourself? I think you must be ready to think about the opposite sex and their needs.

I love to say this to all of you, we have built in human growth potential!  Personal growth is part of your psychological capability. Can you appeal to each other on an emotional level? I like to match you based on your genuine real characteristics. The singles population is highly demanding with twisted expectations, sorry but it is true. My biggest asset has been to help single people find a new pathway. One of my goals is to get you think about a two way street. Relationships between men and woman are not about who controls and manipulates. Relationships are about the common goodness that the couple brings. A human being responds from collective nurturing. I drive success from educating singles.

The successful matchmaker is not a magician. The successful matchmaker has time tested tactics to get you to change your goals with successful attitude. The people who succeed here are not desperate and miserable. The people who win in dating get educated in how to do it.  My tools are my insightful words. I get you to think. I can be persuasive in my winning strategy for you. I always reach out. I get you to think about changing course. Is it time for a lifetime of satisfaction or is it the continuation of failed strategy that keeps you single forever?  There are infinite possibilities when you see the light at the end of a dark tunnel. Reaching your full potential in dating when you hear in your mind that screaming voice telling you, help me I am drowning in my own failed philosophy. Remove the mental blocks that are stereotypical about the opposite sex and you will date many more people. If you’re depressed we will wake up your inner spirit. When you’re full of spirit you can share an enchanted relationship.

When you’re obsessed with anxiety, uncertainty and fear you can’t succeed. These psychological factors keep you from love. The interpersonal dance of dating is jaded because you’re emotionally frail. My heart goes out to damage singles. The damage from the toxic past made you this way. I can drive you toward success if you open up to looking at your reality. You may have survived abuse, manipulation and other bad things. I can show you it is not all like that. I can drive you to a successful future. It starts with you and it begins now. I am waiting for you.

John Holt

Matchmaker

In the singles industry there are many choices of service providers. These various services have relied on marketing to get the word out to prospective customers. Unfortunately many of these services choose symbolism over substance using slick marketing with packaging that looks good. These services fall far short of the fluffy picture they paint in your mind. Tri-State Dating Services offers substance. The brand of realistic matchmaking offers the truth about whom you are and who you can be with. It isn’t wrapped up in a pretty package with a neat little bow. The truth for many singles is not always what they want to hear. I think if you’re single you should ask yourself this. Why have I been failing to succeed in that relationship that for many years has eluded me? The idea that you’re too good for most people available to you is a problem that will never go away until you change your attitude and mindset. Chances are you have been ripped off by fluffy marketing tactics from online dating website providers or you fell prey to these ridiculous companies who try to charge you thousands of dollars after putting you through lengthy appointments where only after two hours of torture you get the mind blowing price of thousands of dollars, you nearly faint. The next thing that happens is you are subject to extreme, slick high pressure sales tactics. What kind of business practice is this? It was symbolism over substance. I say telling the truth is the best way to do business.Tri-State Dating Service is in its 20^th year. John Holt professional matchmaker tells it like it is. I know there have been some people out there who think it is all about your look. It is to them, style points based on glitz and glitter. I know there are people who are quite critical about one little mistake on a website or you didn’t look slick in your advertising. I say this to all of you, haven’t you grown tired of deceptive, slick, symbolic advertising combined with sales tactics that are greasy to say the least? I further ask all single people if you’re tired of outrageous judgment being used by certain singles as to why they won’t date you. Did you get turned down because your e mail had a typo or the comma wasn’t in the right place? There are anal people out there. Stop and think about what in the grand scheme of anything romantic, value based or personality based it means. The decision to choose substance over symbolism is the right decision.

It is far more powerful to deal with an insightful matchmaker who tells the truth and helps you meet real people who understand what this is all about. Like clockwork you can count on the slick crowd to dress themselves up to look pretty, once you look inside you find a snake pit.

Let me paint this picture in your mind. You pay me in the hundreds for guaranteed service. You get packages that tell you exactly what you get. You will know how many people you meet in person. In my service there are no anal nitpickers. I screen them out. You will get an accurate assessment of your situation with recommendations combined with a truthful realistic strategy. Remember all the tales you were told by those symbolic slick marketers who quite frankly have no understanding of human behavior. They couldn’t even analyze the data they collect from you. I allow anyone to challenge my decisions. I know why I made them. I can tell everyone why I matched them along with the reasons for it. In my service you must be patient because the symbolic company told you anything to get you to sign up. The fact is you can’t be desperate you must have control and understand this is a process that takes a lot of personal work and a lot of time. If the timing isn’t right you will not force things to happen. Relationship building is the cornerstone of Tri-State Dating Service there is no quick fix, stop buying the slick message imbedded in symbolic, slick marketing. Stay away from single people who pass judgment on you for silly things like you had a typo in your e mail that may have been 1500 words long. If you end up with these people you will never do anything that pleases them. It is time to use your imagination to produce  decisions based on substance. In my opinion substance is what you look for instead of slick charming people who use charm to deceive you.

The secret or not so secret recipe for success is in the plan I have for you based on sound interview skills. The most important factor is the customer’s success. It is always about your benefit. The benefit comes when you embrace reality and look deep for substance. I think your long range happiness is what really matters, not about how slick I look. I am here 20 years later because I am genuine. I take on all the issues and it isn’t easy. Your choice is to get deceived by slick symbolic marketing or deal with realistic matchmaking based on substance. I promise even though I tell you the truth you might not like it is the results that count.

John Holt

Matchmaker

Hi everyone, did you know that I preside over a portion of the biggest sand box? It is called the adult dating pool. That’s right I said the adult dating pool. Below is a series of most common games that are played in dating.

1 Telephone kinds of things. This one is amazing. You get some ones telephone number that you have decided wasn’t that interesting to you. Instead of turning down the match you never call. This prompts the person waiting for a call to find out why. Then a matchmaker must call and find out. Then the person who didn’t call agrees to do so. The one who didn’t get called right away doesn’t answer  this  goes on for days if not weeks. It seems no one wants to say no, even though they want to. In my opinion if you really want to talk to someone you will get them on the phone, providing they really want to talk to you.

Another kind of telephone game is called voice mail hell, played mostly by woman who want to screen you out for 2 reasons. The first reason is they aren’t attracted to the mental image in their mind they get from listening to a mans  voice, that’s right they get a picture in their mind of what you might look like from listening to your voice. The other reason is that they are giving you the stalker test. If you call more than one time per day you have been given stalker status.

Yet another kind of telephone game is the old I will call when I know he/she isn’t there. What happens next is that you leave a message which when they call back you never answer the phone. Isn’t this a trip down passive aggressive lane.

2 Baiting tactics, Men watch out, woman are master interrogators. The woman starts asking clever questions and formulating answers in her mind, all of a sudden your  off the list. Stay on the phone only long enough to keep some mystery, keep conversation light, never  get into controversial subjects. If you’re a man you will be asked ten different ways about your ex, stay away from talking about her at all. Tell the woman baiting you that your  only interested in talking about her and the future. Tell her your not interested in discussing past relationships. Tell her you see a healthy future ahead.

3 Bathroom escape, If  your on a dinner date and your fumbling for words then you likely exit stage right to the bathroom where you regroup your strategy. This is a time out to come back more comfortable.

4 The old cell phone is ringing trick. Woman tell  their friends to call in the middle of your date. If she said with glee, “ I’m  ok.” Then so are you. If she hangs up the phone as she portrays the obvious emergency she staged with her  friend  then your done, it’s over for you as she runs out the door.

5 The bill is in the middle of the table at the dining establishment. The man your  with never looks at it he just keeps talking until you finally look at it and offer to pay half. Remember ladies he will talk your ear off at this point. Your magic words to him. Dutch treat.

6 The long conversation that produces nothing. This where man and woman talk for hours and never make a date. The woman doesn’t because she was polite but wants to get rid of you. The man doesn’t ask because he is afraid to get turned down.

7 Geographic rejection. The matchmaker tells both parties exactly how far away they live from one another. They know just how much distance it is, so they talk to each other and agree that they just live too far away from each other. Didn’t they already know that, you can bet know one knew the real reason.

There are numerous variations of childish games adults play with one another. I say why can’t you  just be tactful, human, gentle, kind and caring while telling the truth. There are two things you should know.

1 Whatever 90% of all woman tell you is the reason your  finished is that you can count on the fact it wasn’t the real reason. This disservice is done to spare your feelings.

2 90% of all men that turn away from you and say “ I’ll call you”, will never do it.

I maintain that all this stuff further irritates all those involved in dating. It is so childish. Most people act very different in dating then they do in every aspect of their life. You should just be yourself and tell the truth. You can tell the truth gently with compassion. The bottom line is that feedback might be helpful.

Here is my realistic advice. Self discovery is wonderful, you learn about who you are, it get’s real good when a man and woman open up and get deep into real discovery about connection. This is where you find out real things that deeply matter. It is two people looking at the intrinsic compass together.

John Holt

Matchmaker

Many times I hear feedback from people who went on dates and told me so much information. This information is used to apply scrutiny and analysis. Did you ever stop and wonder if you went to deep to fast? Did you ever wonder that all of life’s challenges are met in an imperfect way? I have seen many of you create litmus tests that are so intense that many a person could never succeed with you.

Being single these days is very challenging, when you complain that there isn’t enough good people to meet you end up in isolated loneliness. You have scrutinized your way to isolation. Being single too many of you is a holding pattern until perfection is attained. Please forget perfection. There is no perfect person on earth. Please refrain from stretching your imagination beyond reality. The brand of Tri-State Dating Service is Realistic Matchmaking. In Realistic Matchmaking you can learn to attain personal happiness. Realistic Matchmaking is the alternative to ridiculous dating rules books that tell you all kinds of ways to stereotype the opposite sex. The result of those dating rules can be a series of behaviors that keep you apart as opposed to bringing you together. Just make it easy to allow a comfort level. The comfort level that allows people to be themselves. Don’t manipulate or try to control people. You can’t control people for too long before they lash out at you. Emerge from a closed mind. Give people a chance.

When you over analyze someone your taking away the freedom to think in terms of inclusion vs. exclusion. You now have put up walls around yourself. What do walls do, they keep people out. An unrealistic analysis based on fear and mistrust keeps you single. The decisions you make about people should be made from careful processing of information. I suggest you observe someone over 5 dates instead of snap judgments made in 1-2 hours of intense analysis.

Awareness is the key to logical choices in dating. First you must break away from damaging patterns of knee jerk reactionary behavior. Just the other day I had a man tell me all women with red hair were off limits, why, because he has an attitude that suggests red heads are unstable. He didn’t realize I was a red head. I can give him a pass because my head is shaved. I find it so limiting to hear these things. Being aware of many things can be an advantage. Making decisions from careful thinking wins over reactionary thinking. Quite often reactions are deep inside you. These reactions come from habitual thinking. These patterns of over analyzing are hard to get rid of.

Can I challenge you to think differently? I want you to think through your decisions to see someone again or not see them. Your initial set of feelings about someone can be entirely incorrect. I think reaching who your are dating is by establishing an identity. You establish that person’s true identity by dating them many times not by dismissing them in 2 hours.

The observation of human behavior is not easy. We sometimes make mistakes when we act in haste. When we rush to judgment about people we can be wrong. I believe we should be careful; you may have dismissed someone that was so right for you. Check often to find consistent feelings about someone until a pattern forms. Here is how I believe you observe human behavior.

1 Keep track of your similar feelings over a period of time spent with someone.

2 Look for similar underlying reasons that are associated with some person’s actions.

3 Try to look at someone as an individual not a person from your past. This is destructive comparing those in your past with the person in your presence.

4 Engaging in pre conceived notions will help you draw false conclusions, stay away from this way of thinking.

In conclusion it is wise when you allow multiple dates to get the real story about who you’re with. Can I challenge you to think this way?

 

John Holt

Matchmaker

Hi everyone, attraction is this mythical term defined by so many elusive thoughts inside each persons mind. Many of you have searched the world over for someone you find attractive. Many men these days define attraction by looks only. The superficial idea of attraction is alive and well with men. Wait a minute, isn’t that way of thinking shallow?

It is my belief that you can promote yourself the right way. In doing so you can attract many singles for dating, friendship and a long term relationship. You must make an effort. Dating takes time and energy. If you embrace a realistic matchmaking approach you will become efficient meet credible single people and create memories that are pleasant.

In order to stand out in the dating pool you have to differentiate yourself in some way from the crowd. The one who is reasonable, smiles are happy will get dates. In my opinion you should be personally engaging. I met a new client the other day in East Providence R.I. she has charisma and genuine personal charm. Men you should understand that a woman like this is the real key to a better future. Why, because she will spark an interest in you. The idea is to open up your mind and let it figure out just how interesting and appealing she is.

Promoting your positive traits can pay off big. The dating partners you come in contact with can successfully expand your social circle. When you expand your social circle all kinds of opportunities arise. Even if you meet someone that isn’t the one for you they might know someone who is a prospect. Dating is about the expansion of opportunities. The more opportunities you make available to you the better likelihood that you will find someone special. Meeting realistic credible singles can be a chore. When you meet one you will be pleasantly surprised. I suggest that during your search you not get frustrated or cynical. It is about the expansion of networks. The ability you have to be social.

Many of you have fallen prey to the media these days. The media has told you that the economy is crumbling. The media has scared you into not living your life. The media has you thinking you will lose your job and life savings in the coming months. For many of you this is far from the truth, yet you have withdrawn yourself from living your life. This thinking turns you sour inside and makes you unattractive. You can’t attract anyone when you’re depressed. It is not attractive to live in fear.

Being attractive means that people send positive signals. When you send a body language message of warm, inviting and flirtation will give you at every turn an opportunity to attract. Attraction is about magnetic appeal. The people who understand this are getting more chances to be successful in dating. Dating success has many complexities to it. Attraction is the key that opens the door. Any chance you have for a meaningful relationship will depend on attraction.

If it is your soul mate your searching for you must have the inner level of personal attraction to draw someone in. When you draw them in you must have the time and ability to connect on all levels. You must connect in every aspect of who you are as a human being. You must look for consistency in your dating partner. This consistency must be in alignment with your value systems many great relationships are developed based on similar values in life. Many people who date because they saw a picture and like looks have been doomed to fail. Superficial relationships have no staying power and end up in chronic breakdown. You can’t get close with someone you find visually attractive unless you have an intimate feeling that draws you together. Appeal is more about connection formed rather than a visual image. I ask this question. Do you feel drawn to a beautiful woman or handsome man who has a miserable disposition? The answer for many is no.

When you decide to attract someone you must develop a plan. Hire a matchmaker, search on your own, go to events. Do whatever you think is acceptable to you. Just do it! Never mind the country is in a mess or the media has made you depressed, just do it!  When you decide to meet people you must be warm and wonderful. Friendly is attractive, just like the woman who signed up with my service the other day, she knows how to enter a room and command attention. She is genuine and interesting. The body language suggests she is a social success. These things are attractive.

Just one easy smile can make you attractive. You can’t smile if you’re depressed. A smile on your face will put a smile in your voice. Did you know your voice can attract people? It most certainly can. I suggest a fun sounding voice with a fun tone to it. Sometimes genuine emotion in a voice will attract someone. This shows passion. A passionate person attracting other passionate people will live a lifetime of meaningful experiences. If you have a voice that is not bland and has different inflection to it you will convey your real thoughts. I have continuously told many singles that communication is key to dating and relationships.

So are you hungry for attraction? Have you put yourself on the sideline from fear of the economy? Do you thirst with desire? It is time for the anger, frustration and depression to take a vacation in the united states. The blame is placed upon negative media. Start listening to a different message. Convert your mind to the principles of the laws of attraction. Once your attitude is positive you will attract very positive people. When you decide that an article like this makes sense then call me 800-252-6210 as I have many people who want to meet you.

 

John Holt

Matchmaker

Posted by John Holt on Fri, Dec 11, 2009 @ 10:17 AM   There will be those of you who wish to argue with me as your spending to many hours of your time online trying to contact people to date.Who are these people? Some of them are nice people others are not and worse your chances of meeting bad people are at 40%. The fact of the matter is that online dating doesn't work for 88% of the people who use it.Men please remember this, technology has changed , woman have not. No man should be under any illusion that woman are running right out the door to meet them from online dating sites.Woman are

Posted by John Holt on Sat, Feb 05, 2011 @ 04:13 PM   You log on. Isn't that what the free communication commercial tells you? Just log on. The problem is , you have to pay to meet anyone your communicating with. You become disappointed at deception. After all you were looking for a miracle, just like the commercial had you believe. How many of you became fools at an inter net dating site? I think your heart was cheated. Across the land many of you decided to throw caution to the wind and sign up on one of these websites, you felt anonymous, no one really knew you were there. Wrong, if you