What is Process in Matchmaking
Posted by John Holt on Wed, Mar 10, 2010 @ 10:51 AM
You see me talk, preach, promote and write about process.This you cant escape from.Singles try all the time to get quick fixes, they throw money at anything that suggests a quick fix. There are predators in the dating service business that bet on selling magic bullets to you with quick fix as the theme, you then loose money.I get in trouble because realistic matchmaking is a process that takes time. Timing is everything in realistic matchmaking. If you are thinking of becoming a future customer of mine please understand one very important thing, PATIENCE, because feeding frenzy behavior, quick fixes, rapid service where throwing people at you is a disservice, dating is about learning and having fun doing it so part of the process is to convince you to become more open about who you go out with. If your an overselective snob you rule too many people out and even though you blame the world around you for the lack of perfection your the one that needs to revise your acceptance level.
Here are some very process oriented things you will engage in if your associated with this matchmaker.
1 Discusion of how you view people and matches by way of feedback.Please be prepared to take a hard look at yourself.
2 Be prepared to take advice and to understand I care deeply about your success.
3 Understand that your requirements will be met over expansive time periods, this is not presto chango the magician dating service.
4 Understand to a certain degree the numbers game in dating, likely if you meet and date 50 people you will be in a permanent relationship.
5 Never assume things about members of the opposite sex, good, bad or indifferent.
6 Have reasonable expectations, if your not a supermodel how in the world can you think you will date one.
7 The best relationships aren't about glamour, being skinny and fabulous looks, they get divorced in hollywood all the time.
8 Communication of your satisfaction or dissatisfaction with this service appropriately is key to success, dont run around sniping and being destructive, take a look at you, is there anything you can do to help your own situation.This country we live in has created a victim mentality where it is never anyones fault.
9 Understand that no one is perfect.
10 Be willing and open to spread out, geographical dating is not the answer, compatibility is.
11 If you have psychological issues go to counseling and deal with them, face up to who you are.
12 Gain confidence, I will inspire you and motivate you if your positive.
13 Understand that my philosophy is based on the laws of attraction. You will attract like you.If your positive you attract positive if your toxic you attract misery.
14 Please excercise patience as this is a process.
15 Dont be a superficial narcissist this is not glamour land here, these are regular people average to above average people, what most people are like.
16 If you have habits such as smoking and those like it there will be less people interested, there will be people for you but less.
17 Eliteist behavior is widely discouraged by this matchmaker expect an arguement if your an eliteist.
18 Be ready to excercise and make yourself more appealing so you can be as attractive as possible.
19 Attempt to understand the opposite sex and be more open minded.
Now you must be ready to be interviewed about who you are and who you can be with. Then the process of choice begins. Please understand I will react to what you tell me to do.Control your anxiety or be willing to go out with everyone and anyone. This is not oz, alice in wonderland, magic kingdom, camelot, joe millionaire, dream world or prince charming and cinderella fairytale it is a real process with the reality of who you are and who you can be with, make no mistake about it.I will say this hundreds of times a day in every corner of my life until as many of you get it as possible.The end result is relief from your self induced frustration. I am not perfect and I expect you to admit that as well, if you cant accept advice, technical assistance that is process oriented and to be frankly honest with you are a spoiled brat crying all the time woe is me then you get what you deserve which is tough love, go to my media page and link to the article in rhode island monthly about tough love.It still is love it still means I care, but dont throw blame around the planet for your life it is your bed you made it and you lay in it. If you keep saying I can't, I wont, it is everyone elses fault you wont resolve anything.If your self image is low I will build you up and encourage you.Just follow me I have 18 years of experience in this business.I wont sugar coat things or placate you. I will work with you, follow up on things, you will know I care.
John Holt
Matchmaker