Guidance Through a Process
Posted by John Holt on Sat, Feb 27, 2010 @ 05:05 PM
Many of you who read these blog posted articles and listen to me on my radio show networking singles know I talk about process.Realistic matchmaking is a process. So what do I really mean. Here is the process.
1 Please understand above anything else that you need to be able to understand for real who you are and who you can be with. You must be willing to undergo a look at yourself in the dating process and if you have been in the dating process longer than 5 years your in trouble, why because what you are doing isn't working.You must come to my matchmakers table and take a look at changing things.
2 Be realistic about the information used to rule people in and out.If you are excluding more than 50% of the dating pool then you need to open up.
3 Be prepared to understand that your lifestyle issues will be compromised if you are to be successful at dating, you might have an idea that the opposite sex is moving right in with you in a ready made to order relationship that is convienient, forget it.Some compromise is the order of the day.
4 Please dont be an age related fool.Date within 10 years or less of your own age.Chasing much younger is foolish.You really have nothing in common with them.
5 Try hard not to be a job/education snob.Intelligence comes in all education levels and if it matters what someone does then your after money so dont be disingenious.
6 If you have nasty personal habits like smoking, no time like the present to get rid of them and your health will be better.Most people aren't dating smokers these days.
7 If your a picture gawker then learn that your superficial and just get a pin up picture, put it on your wall, stay home and look at it.
8 What about dating people with children, don't pass up on a great date because they have children.If you have children make sure you have time to date and childcare available.If you end up in a permanent relationship with someone don't marry or move in with them if they have adolescent children, wait until they reach 18 then move in or get married.Adolescents can be very difficult to live with and if they don't like you it will be a disaster.
9 Be sociable and function well socially this will give you a leg up on your competition, you should be a fun person.
10 If you travel and vacation choose a partner who likes similiar destinations.
11 Money isn't everything but personality is.Personality compatibility is the most important factor in relationship longevity.
12 Sometimes chemistry is instant other times it takes my 4 date rule or my 90 days of fun dates rule.If you use these 2 ideas you might be successful sooner than later.
13 If you are desperate and hound the matchmaker for dates you will get a compromised membership and you need to understand there are no quck fixes.
14 All singles should excercise at least 1 hour per day it will make you more attractive.
15 Positive energy and the law of attraction should be understood and adopted in your thinking.You will attract like minded people.
16 Understand that half of the things you do should be similiar, you cant get with someone who does 100% of the things you do it is unrealistic.
17 Make sure that if religion is important that you find someone who believes what you do, now if they don't then find someone who respects your beliefs.
18 Please be willing to travel at least up to 2 hours to meet the right person, it opens up your opportunities.
If you want to be with someone examine where you can open up and be realistic about who you are and who you can be with and please become tolerant. Above anything else please be emotionally stable.
John Holt
Matchmaker