Posted by John Holt on Sun, Feb 28, 2010 @ 05:31 PM
My advice to all of you is powerful, so take a collective deep breath and get your head out of the hollywood image cloud! Singles take a look in the mirror and also scan the mirror of your soul. Settling in to ideas that have not worked over and over again will leave you alone over and over again. Looking at potential dates through a narrow lense will drastically reduce your chances to end up with anyone.
Compromising on certain expectations can help you be more reasonable about who you might date a second time. Your not abandoning your ideals completely.Your partial mind filled with junk from your friends, pop culture and bad advice from people can keep you from success. I operate my life that I am just plain no better than anyone else.
Having sheer compassionate ways about you will allow you to reject someone truthfully.However before you think about rejecting someone think about pre judgemental predjudice that has corrupted your mind.Stereotyping is a bad practice, I see it too often.The second chance might turn things around for you.
The people who find someone are active, energetic. open and allow destiny to reach them.If you put the walls up and find the excuses you wont get anywhere.Think about how many negative excuses you make for not changing your path.It's safe to stay home, in dating staying home keeps you alone.
I say to everyone a social network breathes life into your goal of finding someone, go out on more dates and if you dont have dates go socialize with people you can date, find them, seek them out. Get a life. If you dont know where to start, hire me, then let the fun begin. Fun, fun and more fun is the order of the day.Get the conversation started and start meeting people. All the excuses in this world must be thrown in the barrel permanently. If your nervous I will coach you through it.Recently I spoke several times to a new member of mine from Torrington C.T she was nervous about being accepted by the men at the dinner party I set up.I told her of her positive attributes that the men should respond.I built her confidence to go and be counted on.I am sure she will have a good time. Be brave, get out there.
It is the idea that realistic matchmaking is a fast growing idea that supports you in a process. The bravery part is yours to do.I will be your motivator.The production of good matches via my intuition and analysis will be beneficial and we will conquer the dating world and get you into a relationship.I will get you headed in the right direction. Communication will begin flowing like a river and you will be meeting people.
John Holt
Matchmaker
Posted by John Holt on Sun, Feb 28, 2010 @ 03:18 PM
Why in the midst of the worse economic calamity in half a century is my business growing and strengthening.It isn't complicated, take price positioning and the valued proposition that it is worth it to meet people and this drives single consumers to the market place. I think positive and target growth areas.Below are growth areas of strength in the first quarter.
1 New london county C.T
2 Central C.T
3 Greater New Haven C.T area
4 Long Island N.Y
5 Providence R.I Now the number 1 City
6 East greenwich R.I
7 Blackstone valley mass. and R.I
8 Kent county R.I
9 Aquidneck island R.I
10 Fairfield county C.T
11 Westchester county N.Y
These areas are in large growth patterns. This process of growth is targetted to expand growth in central massachusetts, northeast C.T SOON. The marketplace for singles is changing constantly.The internet online dating binge is over it is full of fraud, deceit it lacks accountability and yes there is no check and balance on what goes on, it is the wild wild west of dating, anything goes. Woman want security not uncertainty.Men are tired of looking at pictures that decieve. So having a gatekeeper for woman and a visual eye for men combined with a judge of emotional stability is comforting. Realistic matchmaking is rooting in, however it is difficult to throw away dreams and trade it in for reality.My style is direct and I am blitzing the public with this cultural permeation.
Another factor in the process is the use of effective, blunt and to the point communication such as this blog and the networking singles radio show .Many people are flocking to this website to learn about realistic matchmaking. I can be rather enchanting in my enthusiasm for my process. Let me captivate your attention, when I do, this business grows and you end up out of dating frustration and with someone.
Things are changing, the quck fix marketing is not working and realistic matchmaking is moving into your mind.You must face the truth in dating and understand it is a process. Consumers understand good prices coupled with reality.
There is no mystical powers at work here.I am not a magician.I understand men and woman in the dating pool.I enlighten many and bring them from the dark.
I understand that breaking patterns isn't easy but honesty in marketing is ethical.I believe so dramatically in realism. Let me set the mood folks, it is intoxicatingly real. Surrender to the spell of reality. Realistic matchmaking is here to stay, embrace it like so many are. I am a tireless promotor of realistic matchmaking a creator of positive conversation and I place to rest negativity. Your mindset should be based on the law of attraction, let's magnetize our positive energy. Why, because my brand strategy helps you save years of frustration brought on by fairytales.I have 18 years of experience and I am energized by the growth. Let me take a significant interest in you.
John Holt
Matchmaker
Posted by John Holt on Sat, Feb 27, 2010 @ 05:05 PM
Many of you who read these blog posted articles and listen to me on my radio show networking singles know I talk about process.Realistic matchmaking is a process. So what do I really mean. Here is the process.
1 Please understand above anything else that you need to be able to understand for real who you are and who you can be with. You must be willing to undergo a look at yourself in the dating process and if you have been in the dating process longer than 5 years your in trouble, why because what you are doing isn't working.You must come to my matchmakers table and take a look at changing things.
2 Be realistic about the information used to rule people in and out.If you are excluding more than 50% of the dating pool then you need to open up.
3 Be prepared to understand that your lifestyle issues will be compromised if you are to be successful at dating, you might have an idea that the opposite sex is moving right in with you in a ready made to order relationship that is convienient, forget it.Some compromise is the order of the day.
4 Please dont be an age related fool.Date within 10 years or less of your own age.Chasing much younger is foolish.You really have nothing in common with them.
5 Try hard not to be a job/education snob.Intelligence comes in all education levels and if it matters what someone does then your after money so dont be disingenious.
6 If you have nasty personal habits like smoking, no time like the present to get rid of them and your health will be better.Most people aren't dating smokers these days.
7 If your a picture gawker then learn that your superficial and just get a pin up picture, put it on your wall, stay home and look at it.
8 What about dating people with children, don't pass up on a great date because they have children.If you have children make sure you have time to date and childcare available.If you end up in a permanent relationship with someone don't marry or move in with them if they have adolescent children, wait until they reach 18 then move in or get married.Adolescents can be very difficult to live with and if they don't like you it will be a disaster.
9 Be sociable and function well socially this will give you a leg up on your competition, you should be a fun person.
10 If you travel and vacation choose a partner who likes similiar destinations.
11 Money isn't everything but personality is.Personality compatibility is the most important factor in relationship longevity.
12 Sometimes chemistry is instant other times it takes my 4 date rule or my 90 days of fun dates rule.If you use these 2 ideas you might be successful sooner than later.
13 If you are desperate and hound the matchmaker for dates you will get a compromised membership and you need to understand there are no quck fixes.
14 All singles should excercise at least 1 hour per day it will make you more attractive.
15 Positive energy and the law of attraction should be understood and adopted in your thinking.You will attract like minded people.
16 Understand that half of the things you do should be similiar, you cant get with someone who does 100% of the things you do it is unrealistic.
17 Make sure that if religion is important that you find someone who believes what you do, now if they don't then find someone who respects your beliefs.
18 Please be willing to travel at least up to 2 hours to meet the right person, it opens up your opportunities.
If you want to be with someone examine where you can open up and be realistic about who you are and who you can be with and please become tolerant. Above anything else please be emotionally stable.
John Holt
Matchmaker
Posted by John Holt on Sat, Feb 27, 2010 @ 01:09 PM
Meeting people is easier than you will many times allow it to happen.Why do you hold yourself back? Because you use negative channeling in your communication style.When men/woman have negative thoughts about what is likely a non negative situation they percieve their way into negativity. My belief in realistic matchmaking is to turn your thinking positive. I want you to shout out " I will be positive about other people"!
It is time to spread the viral message of realistic matchmaking , far and wide. Changing forever the false negative way people think about dating.There should never be a reason on earth not to converse and learn about other singles, you'll only marry one of them, however there is a whole bunch of fun to have along the way.
How you communicate with other singles get's you the date or sends you packing.I love the dinner party concept at tri-state dating service because it allows the fun banter back and forth with less pressure.You can even end up dating more than one person you meet at one of these.Another one is taking place on 2/28 in old saybrook C.T they happen all the time. At these dinner parties the powerful communication of all persons open doors. Dates will take place from these dinner parties after dinner party conversation starts the process.
When your bursting with charm you can get positive magnetic attraction from other singles. When you project yourself as colorful in conversation you will become attractive to so many. Having a broad building network of singles to date will lead to choosing one of them as your permanent one. I am not writing about online communication, I am talking about in person , in the flesh communication, the kind that actually matters, so texters, tweeters, face book addicts get real and in the flesh. I attended a american marketing association business networking event and had 5 meaningful business conversations I would not have had hiding in the corner of my office behind a computer screen. This means that singles must get out and network.
Who will atract you? Gain your attention. Become the central focus of your love interest.The answer is the positive one.The law of atraction is magnetic, spread your positive energy around in your conversations and your body laguage. If your out there you will be noticed, be prepared to talk, present your body language as inviting.
Become engaging in your communication, you do this by smiling and asking about people, they glow when you do this and you will be viewed as bright in their eyes.You told them they are interesting. People flock so wonderfully to a positive gathering, then you are heard and you listen to them in order to become connected.It is connection through gestures and words that link you. Start the conversation it is social, dating is social.Social activity must be fun, so communicate that your fun.
Realistic matchmaking is changing the dating world forever through communication, just meet me once and feel my energy it will entice you to be positive. My vision for you is a whole lot more than matches it is a process, don't be afraid to let me tweek you. I am spreading realistic matchmaking all over the northeast.I am promoting a movement.
Compare for yourself an idea that eliminates your frustration, teaches you to be realistic and saves you time in the quest for meeting people vs. High pressure sales pitches with false promises or the fraud of online dating, isn't the truth better? Find out for yourself if you can handle it and the transformation takes place 800-252-6210 It takes place here 7 days a week.Watch it work for you, but leave your negativity behind.
Boosting your morale building your motivation becomes productive, my energy will bring about this transformation.
John Holt
Matchmaker
Posted by John Holt on Thu, Feb 25, 2010 @ 08:51 AM
Hi friends, I am on the economic kick again. Those of you who have listened to my radio show for a while know me only to well when it comes to the economy.Tonight in the 2nd hour of networking singles you will hear me address this.You can hear me by tuning into 1380 am on your dial in northern rhode island and blackstone valley.If you are from elsewhwere you can stream it on the internet at www.wnri.com 6-8 pm, dont miss it, call in if you do listen.
Dating and relationships dont stop in bad economic times.This is a historic downturn in this economy we are in.My personal message to you is that getting serious about working with each other in every walk of life is the focus I reccomend. In dating there is a factor that rises above all economic issues.The actual mingling, social connection and development requires no money.You can be totally broke financially and socially rich from interaction.I have recognized the uneasiness of the times we are in.I continue to move this business forward because my willingness to work with people is strong and pricing is reasonable.
There is a security factor in relationships, going it single leaves you no safety net.I certainly am not advocating for ending up in a relationship just for economic reasons, however embracing the thought begins with a plan for progress.This means that you must begin to do something.Meeting people can be inexpensive if you do things that cost less.Dating becomes expensive when you choose to make it that way.In these times woman are concerned about security, men are retreating due to confidence issues, woman can help men by placing less pressure on men to wine and dine to impress, men can help woman by making themselves more available for meet and greet, in other words low cost less pressure meeting.Now there are many men and woman doing well and so I just say to you keep on with whatever your doing.
Unemployment is getting worse, there are far more people unemployed now , so I ask, should you stop dating because your unemployed? This has been a difficult decision to make for many because looking for prospects is the center of dating, so when your unemployed you feel less than you did when you were employed and folks if you think this is a deal breaker then perhaps any day now you could be unemployed and then your view will change.The measuring stick of how economically successful we are should no longer be the larger barometer of who we date.Dating is not marriage and economics runs in cycles, this cycle will be long and being with someone who you just like and are atracted to is so loyal to a person and not to a portfolio.
Our community has been destroyed to a certain extent by politicians who only care about power and reelection to public office, they don't care about your everyday struggle to get the good life or to make wealth or to just make ends meet, so once again we must in the business community work with consumers and understand the times we are in. The people who decide based on net worth who you are, will forever be shallow and are not realistic about real relationship building.Money is comforting it gets you things, you live easy , well that is great.Money doesn't give you any foundation for a great relationship. So when you meet an unemployed person dont dismiss them as non dateable because this could be you next month.
The economic times means a different strategy.The strategy now is an exchange of who you really are because we are in a downfall that could reduce your lifestyle by 40% so now you must change from status oriented choice to intrinsic choice, look inside at who they are not what they are worth, rise up to higher ground.I believe then you will find your real partner in dating.
My committment as a matchmaker is to take you to the deepest levels of reality sweet or sour as it might be.Staying in relationships and building new ones will help, it is connection during these times that will make progress.If Sally is so nice then Bill ought to think that it must be time for Sally and Bill to move in or get married and together your safer. Only if you really care for each other.It is the times we are in that should give you the following strategic pathway.
1 Take action to meet people without rating them on economic success.
2 Seek out less expensive ways to meet people.This is why my services are inexpensive.
3 When you find either many people to socially network with or individuals to date your emotional state of mind is in support of positive as opposed of negative.No one should be isolated.So find the individuals and the networks.
4 If you believe going on with life alone is wise accept your demise, if you become chosen to be next in unemployment. Besides that, men and woman have a need to be with each other.This is why my business is recession proof.The longer you unnaturally force yourself to stay alone the likely depression of the mental illness kind will permeate your life, so stop fighting it.
5 Come to a complete understanding that relationships are part of life, getting into the right one has to do with personalities not looks and not wealth. You will choose the right person if you follow this.
So what we are faced with is out of control misguided govt. no longer by the people and for the people so you must rely on common man and woman to co mingle how you live. Caring for each other when it becomes unaffordable because your all each other will have.Business working with consumers to get results and consumers embracing business. In a capatalistic economy business must be embraced by consumer or the downturn will get worse.I see people in the business community struggling.I try to be helpful with strategy sharing.I am fortunate that my busines is doing well.It is because my message is resonating.I am the merchant that forces you to embrace reality.The brand of tri-state dating service is realistic matchmaking, changing the industry every day every moment every minute in every communication.Let's get serious about alliances in dating social networks and business networks because helping each other is the road to recovery, the govt. will not help you.
John Holt
Matchmaker
Posted by John Holt on Wed, Feb 24, 2010 @ 08:48 PM
Hi everyone, do you remember what your grandparents or parents told you about the 1930s. I do, my attitude is to bypass this nonsense and move forward into the storm and steer the ship right through it.
The fact of the matter is that our govt has no clue, it is filled with criminals who got elected by us to lead this country.Make no mistake they are criminals.Our govt. is corrupt at every level. During all this I am hearing that we are headed for worse times.Well, once again let me tell you, here at tri-state dating service and on networking singles radio show I refuse to participate in the recession or even any depression.I will still sell dating service packages to people instead of apples on the street corner. I have used pricing strategy to position tri- state dating service above the rest as a real bargain.
This country got into this mess by overpricing everything beyond value and beyond the means of people using cash to pay in full, so credit was given beyond the means of anyone to pay.The oil rich countries are charging us overinflated prices for oil and gasoline and everything especially food prices are affected.In the dating service business thousands of dollars rip off services overcharged everyone.Dont ever pay them that kind of money.Here you get charged hundreds not thousands.Those companies relied heavily on you carrying a credit card to an office when they never told you the price and used high pressure sales tactics to get you to hand over your card, don't do it. In these times I will stand by the consumer and keep prices reasonable.We all need to stand together in the business community and be reasonable with consumers.Business must lead, through commerce we can rise above the filthy govt.Let's get back to greatness and future building together, let's network and embrace each other to float all our boats.I collaborate with other business' and they collaborate with me, just listen to my radio show tommorrow night 6-8 pm on wwww.wnri.com or 1380 am on the dial when Ronnie ann Ryan comes on in the first hour, we are living examples of collaborating for the good of both companies, a successful networking relationship.I will be around everywhere to collaborate so singles have a better chance.I will be unrelenting as all the real estate crashes in foreclosure and jobs go with it.Let's wake up and begin to help each other succeed.The common non political people must ban together to provide chances for each other.When business comes to me and collaborates I help them and they help me.We must provide trust in business as a proposition against the backdrop of gov.t corruption. It is time to be herculean and overcome this giant take over of the economy by our govt. who cares nothing about you. Business must position for winning the consumer, providing the service and goods at a resonable price with a smile.
At tri-state dating through realistic matchmaking you will have an advocate, friend, business partner and get a reasonable deal not a raw deal, you will trade in frustration for effective no nonsense realism.I want you to join, jump on the band wagon, shout it out, we are not going to participate in the recesion! I say it everyday and my business is thriving because of you and I want you you to reap the rewards of a relationship.Positive energy is here forever at tri-state dating service.How can I help you?
John Holt
Matchmaker
Posted by John Holt on Wed, Feb 24, 2010 @ 09:58 AM
Realistic matchmaking is slowly changing the mindset of single people everywhere.My goal is to transform your mindset from the quick fix marketeers that want to sell you based on your dreams.In realistic matchmaking you adopt reality and trade the dreams in for common sense solutions, with the dreams you buy snake oil and loose your money.It takes patience to be with my service, however it is the results not the quck fix that matter.I am seeing more and more results. This should not be shocking to you that I am a matchmaker not a magician.Hiring me will get you alot of positive energy at work for you.
One thing is for sure men at tri state dating are meeting excellent woman and at a fast pace. This week people are putting their files on hold because they are exclusively dating one another.Some people in here can't keep up with the matches and the dinner parties are being scheduled at a record pace.Why because I am a tireless promoter of realistic matchmaking.One of the things that I have to do is convince some people to travel further away to meet the compatible person they are interested in, when I do this there is a 50/50 chance they stay together.I have some people who will travel anywhere to meet the right person.There is the developer from long island he will go anywhere in C.T and R.I, The cardiologist from norwich C.T he will travel anywhere.A businees man from westchester county N.Y for the right person he will travel.Ladies take note of this.
Part of realistic matchmaking is my phone conversations with members to change their mindset, to educate, moving them in the right direction.
Many of the men and woman who are tired of online dating which is full of discourteous non commital people are coming to tri-state dating.These people are in their 30s and are looking at realistic matchmaking as an alternative.A more comprehensive approach, handing it off to a professional with 18 years of experience in the business. Numerous discussions are taking place with my members about acceptance and dealing with rejection are taking place.
Senior citizens should not feel left out.There is a tremendous market blooming here at tri-state for realistic men who want to date a huge supply of woman in there 60s Yes this is true and these woman are very atractive prospects.This group is growing rapidly and it is time to matriculate if you have'nt done so.When many dating services said no to you I say yeas with open arms, dating, relationships and companionship no no age limits, at this time my males go up to 85 and females to 81, all embracing realistic matchmaking, not staying home, doing activities that are fun, eliminating lonliness, laughing instead of being depressed, living life!This is a real process.
Could you be the next successful person here.I hope so.
John Holt
Matchmaker
Posted by John Holt on Tue, Feb 23, 2010 @ 10:11 PM
Here at tri-state dating service and networking singles radio show, There will be no participation in the recession.Yes the recession that lingers on and on for many.The figures released this week have suggested that 3.1 % growth has taken place over the last year, so why are the consumer confidence levels at a 27 year low for february? There is a level of savings going on in the usa that is healthy because debt is lowering, now if we can get the bloated govt. to stop spending we could all march in unison side by side into more favorable bond ratings.
My business has enjoyed explosive growth because my pricing fits the consumers mindset to get a more affordable service.Am I the bargain king of matchmakers, you bet and thousands and thousands of dollars services are running for cover, they can't justify the price because they can't deliver on the results.
I am in action this week, booked into next week and I am spreading the word far and wide about the brand of tri-state dating service, realistic matchmaking.More and more people are learning about this daily , because I have the energy of 12 men in 1 mans body.My mind is positive and I magnetize toward positive energy.An overwhelming wave of energy is coming to your town soon, on the realistic matchmaking bandwagon.Dynamic people are joining me in the revolution of the dating world called realistic matchmaking.This mindblowing theory of common sense approach that will eliminate frustration and move you to a fun, interesting relationship.
So once again I am telling you that we are not going to participate in the recesion, nay saying, negativity.We are moving forward and ahead.This is so much fun to educate people to the reality of positive thinking, it is the law of attraction in action.Embrace me, I will embrace you to masterful proportions.I am your advocate and together we will put an end to the recession and restore your confidence, because you will be in a relationship and be happy!
John Holt
Matchmaker Having More Fun than ever before.
Posted by John Holt on Mon, Feb 22, 2010 @ 10:57 PM
I thought that I would give the latest overview of customer patterns at tri-state dating service. First of all I am making myself available to groups for public speaking events. This is yielding an awareness of the history of tri-state dating service and bringing in new members, especially in the central C.T Area.Word of mouth refferals from satisfied customers are yielding new customers from central C.T and the New Haven county area of c.t New publicity regarding my professional match making strategy plus my radio show networking singles is producing results in woonsocket R.I a city that has ascended to the top 20 in enrollment. Providence R.I has become the number 1 enrolled city in the 5 state area. Growth in the last 2 months in southeastern mass. along with a large growth spurt in the east bay section of rhode Island. On the horizon this week is more new members from east greenwich R.I a town growing fast at tri-state dating along with coventry R.I which has been for 5 straight years a top 20 town in tri-state dating service.Fairfield C.T is another town growing fast at tri-state dating service. Cumberland R.I is growing. Tri-state dinner parties are being planned at record pace many of them in R.I and C.T. I have now opened up long island new york and westchester county is holding it's own here at tri-state dating service.In the next 12 months a radio ad campaign in central mass. and northeast C.T will be underway. What is happening, an explosion of members from 40-65 years old and new influx of young men and woman from 33-38. What trends am I seeing with realistic matchmaking?
1 Personally engaging atractive, sweet woman.
2 Significant men.
Tri-state dating service is turning the dating world upside down with realistic matchmaking as a brand.I am provocative and socially inviting as a matchmaker.The brand of tri-state dating service is realistic matchmaking, catching on quite well.This will eliminate years of frustration finding someone.Everybody is talking about my approach as refreshing and honest.Using the premise of the law of attraction where positive energy attracts positive energy is important.This is a mindset a movement of customers away from thousands and thousands of dollars dating service to more reasonable pricing.This is a movement away from the madness of online dating.This is tri-state dating service positioned effectively in this economic envirnment. This is my intention to have by networking realistic matchmaking known far and wide in boston, worcester, springfield, hartford, new haven, new london, new york city , albany, brattleboro and bennington.Everywhere in between in cities, suburbs and rural areas. Thriving, booming commerce for years to come.
John Holt
Matchmaker
Posted by John Holt on Sun, Feb 21, 2010 @ 11:29 AM
Hi Ladies, you know you do it. Men are becoming increasingly more perplexed about the expectations woman have for them. I have spent 18 years in the matchmaking business watching this go on, years ago in the 90s the boston globe printed an article titled " Ninety Five Percent of the Woman Want to Date Five Percent of The Men" you bet I read that one with interest. So what is going on out here in the dating world? I am turning it upside down by pointing out things that many matchmakers would never do.I say tough love is still love. Realistic Matchmaking is here to stay, it is the only way to go. Ladies this means that you need to evaluate who is acceptable.More men in the last 2 years have become ambivalent and are making themselves less available.One of three reasons is pay back for what I call the picky, picky years of 2000-2007 No human being will line up for consistent rejection.So what have I learned from woman as they lamented since 1992.
1 Most men are boring, so I ask, Do you require a floor show on a date done by mr. excitement or a song and dance man.Remember MacGyver, he isn't available.
2 I often hear that the majority of men can't dress themselves or take the time to do it properly and in style.Most models in GQ magazine are not available these days.
3 Ah the baggage of the past, henceforth he talked about the past too much as you don't have any yourself.Remember the honeymooners with Jackie Gleason as Ralph Cramden, remember the episode where Ralph was chef of the future.Jackie is long gone, anyways some of you would have said he weighed too much.
4 Ah yes, one of my favorites, forever young. I know every man past 50 is tired, I laugh about this because I am 51 and excercise 2 hours a day, ski , play volleyball, softball on 2 teams, thank god I am not listening to the " all men are couch potato" nonsense after 50, my grandfather lived to 99 he was active for 96 years of the 99 years. Just look at Jack Lalane he is in his 90s promoting juicing on infomercials.Believe me the woman who tell me they are young after 50 but no man could be, well the last I knew Tony Romo or Tom Brady wasn't available.
5 Oh he isn't college educated as if there aren't bad people with education. Sorry Ladies there aren't that many phds per capita to go around.
6 He doesn't make enough money or is not financially secure.Well your out of luck again.Donald Trump isn't available.
I once was told by a member of mine that when you ladies figured out you weren't getting Donald Trump from here it was all over.Time to wake up to reality. Realistic matchmaking is where you find that their are many good men instead of George Clooney or some hollywood image. I hope this gets you to think.
Mr. Perfect, Mr. charm and charisma, Millionaire Man , GQ man, and Einstein are in a minority so small it is extremely unlikely you will ever end up with him, so lament and conclude that reality is still full of pretty good men, oh I know you won't settle.
John Holt
Matchmaker
Posted by John Holt on Sat, Feb 20, 2010 @ 10:55 AM
This issue has greatly affected all singles who choose matchmaking and dating services to find someone. Let me tell you that trust is the basis for whether or not any business relationship has a foundation.We have a major problem in the good old usa, mistrust of just about anything and everything. The dating service industry and it's off shoots over the last 30 years hasn't done alot to earn a trustworthy reputation. Consumers haven't educated themselves well either. First of all no ethical operator of a matchmaking/ dating service has any business telling you that they guarentee anything in the way of permanent results.The service however should let you know how much service you get for what you pay for. This should be clearly guarenteed so you know if your meeting 8 people that it be agreed upon that you meet each one in person and that 8 meetings take place before the term of the contract ends. Consumers must do their part by being realistic or they must be willing to wait for huge periods of time to elapse before the matchmaker can contact them.There are instances where consumers wait long periods of time because through no fault of their own they are not fitting well in the program as a compatible match, so flexibility scales should be incorporated into the questionairre.The contract must also have an option for a consumer to be refunded money based on total exhaustion of time and participation not producing results.Consumers must get rid of all dating anxiety or desperation because let's face the truth here, this is a process it is not Filenes Basement.You pick clothing off a rack not people Dating services are not retail business', thats right! There are thousands of psychological, sociological, geographical, personality conflict, appearance, health related, educational, occupational, emotional, past affecting present, childcare and many more things, by the way none worse than REJECTION. Did you notice I capatilized that word.I have seen hundreds of temper tantrums occur over the last 18 years and if you get to the bottom of all of the emotions of it rejection from the dream is at the center of it.. Many consumers in this process must agree to tell the truth to their dates when letting them down, they must get some guts and be very gentle and nice but firm. Feedback is very important in this business, member to member and matchmaker to member as well as member to matchmaker.Feedback should be constructive. The parties should get to the bottom of an issue without emotions getting in the way.
Part of realistic matchmaking is that you should know who you are and who you can be with. If you can't grasp this then you must decide to live within yourself a very frustrated life alone. Dreams are for sleepy time not for reality. No dating service should ever tell you your dreams are attainable because it is not reality, the service should assess you and who you can be with, if you don't like the idea of who you can be with then you must learn to love living alone. There is no harm in living alone if you enjoy it and silence that goes with it. One things for sure you'll never have too many arguments.
Consumers must prepare to show their real self to the matchmaker.Any sense of misrepresentation or false bravado and the matchmaker should never sign that consumer up. If the matchmaker has no direct answers for the consumers questions then the consumer should never pay the matchmaker.Please remember that a matchmaker can only tell you what is currently going on, the members of the service can come up with 25 reasons that change what you told a consumer on monday changes things by saturday, why you ask? Because no one can control the behavior of others.
Matchmakers and dating service operators must answer phone calls and e mails and consumers must do this with the dates they get.Common courtesy is important.Ignoring people on purpose is ignorant.
In order to succeed at a dating service you must be very patient or be willing to date everyone and anyone. A good matchmaker knows who is right for you because a good matchmaker studies you. In order to succeed in a dating service you must be thick skinned, you can't be insulted by the truth and downtrodden by rejection. Be comfortable in reality because being a phony has no substance, this means men must be interested in woman for other reasons than flesh. Woman must be interested in men for other reasons than status and money.
If you understand these things you should be in a good place at a dating service.All dating services need to be honest about what members they get and have.The consumer must listen to this.Dating and matchmaking services should be in the hundreds in price not the thousands.Anyone who would pay thousands is foolish and deserves whatever happens for being foolish with there money. Getting solid candidates who really are for you is the goal, if your dreams are warped you will fail! time and time again.I have seen consumers run from one idea and service to the next, losing money, why, it wasn't everybody else they blamed, it was that they never did a realistic matchmaking assessment of themselves.They don't know who they are and who they can be with.So if your really ready get in touch with me.
John Holt
Matchmaker
Posted by John Holt on Fri, Feb 19, 2010 @ 08:42 PM
I dare you to make the leap off the cliff of online neurotic shallowness into the deepness of realistic matchmaking.I dare you to become real. Come on men take the leap from looking at pictures into substance.Take the journey single folks, the bandwagon is leaving without you. Is it momentary gratification or a lifetime of deep happiness you want? In this day and age of dangerous risk a beacon of sunshine comes from the sky straight at you with positive energy, to save you from your computer mouse and that state of limbo known as e neurosis.
I keep hearing that your all seeing the same faces on online sites, this is because the numbers of new people wanting to drive themselves crazy is getting lower.At tri-state dating there is no deception.I meet everyone in person.I know who my members are, no fake pictures and no phonies.Screening for improper representation keeps descriptions honest and I am full of energy to advocate on your behalf. People must answer to me for any conduct unbecoming of decent human beings. This is a disclosed process where we work together to obtain your matches, if and only if you are realistic.
So let's turn the beat around folks, let's get supercharged , energized and ready to be real, not phony or false. You'll appreciate becoming realistic again it's like a transfusion of reality into the system to rid you of cyber cancer.
So what drives you.I talked to a dynamic, positive woman from R.I today who is ready.What about you my friends.
John Holt
Matchmaker
Posted by John Holt on Fri, Feb 19, 2010 @ 01:57 PM
Ladies and gentleman the only way to go is the realistic way.Saving you frustration from chasing false dreams is tough love.Through my blog, my radio show networking singles, this website, public speaking, media stories and every written and verbal communication with everyone I will continue my mission to get you to focus on reality. Some are defiant and down right ridiculous in their effort to continue chasing dreams. The fact is , if you embrace my ideas and strategies and create positive energy around them you will begin to routinely meet interesting people. Imagine the fun you will have meeting all kinds of people rather than rejecting them for every frivolous reason on earth.
The dating drama that frustration brings will be replaced by optomism about your new found prospects.
In dealing with me John Holt Realistic matchmaker it is reality based approaches not las vegas style gambling. It is positive energy you will gravitate to, just remember I tell it like it is, so get ready for that.It is inspiration for change and the result will be a shorter search for reality as opposed to a never ending search for dreams that run away from you.You must be open to wanting success if not you will be alone in your frustration for years to come. Don't be foolish be realistic. I back down from no issue, we meet them together, we search for reality because realistic matchmaking is the only choice.
I have little doubt about your future if you have positive energy coupled with common sense. Go to sleep and have dreams, wake up to realistic matchmaking. My defiance to unrealistic thinking is a cornerstone in my belief system. The only relevant truth to this is too embrace reality, meet people, accept them and be positive, every step of the way I will be with you with all my realistic and positive energy.
Being fair with people instead of excluding them will get you independence from frustration, years and years of it.It is time to create positive energy and move forward into reality, then you will have someone instead of a dream mired in frustration. Your passport to the future is reality combined with positive energy will revive your senses. Satisfying your needs will be the reward, that need for a relationship. Am I sparking enthusiasm? Is realistic matchmaking burning into your mind?
Bottom line, negative, snobbish, exclusionary dreamers fail! Positive realistic people with energy succeed!
John Holt
Matchmaker
Posted by John Holt on Thu, Feb 18, 2010 @ 08:32 PM
The conditions in our country this past week are highly toxic.The people are throwing into the ring a negativity that will only attract negativity in return.You all must take a deep breath and invite positive magnetic energy.
This country is what it has become, the regular non political everyday people are different and we need to become positive in our energy.So light up your social networks and begin to embrace each other.When you embrace each other you will embark on a journey that is helpful to each other.Your skill is valuable to another person who has a skill valuable to you.Creating social networks can build your inner circle outward to expand your success.This works in dating.
In dating you become jaded as opposed to accepting.When you become accepting you learn that people around you become receptive and your opportunities become larger.When your opportunities become larger you win.Why because one of them likely will be the one your looking for.Let me illustrate this social construct.
1 Your family introduces you to a potential date.
2 Your friends know 2 possibilities.
3 You attend 5 singles events and meet 50 people at each.
4 You join my service and meet 12 more.
5 You go out to a lounge and meet 5 more.
6 You join an organization and meet 20 more.
7 You go to a dance and meet 10 more.
Sum total 100 people in 2 months time.
If you do this six times a year I will bet my life savings you end up with someone, especially if you apply the laws of attraction which is positive energy draws positive energy.It is magnetic and real.Soon you will have communities of friends.These friends know others.I know thousands of singles, the organizations know thousands of singles, it is viral, you will catch on.I made 2 connections on my radio show tonight and others before them, it will be beneficial to all of us and was beneficial to all my audience.
It is winter meet 10 by spring, then meet 25 before summer, meet 50 in the summer and guess what? Your not alone for the holidays.
Communication is important and let's create it so even this website becomes a positive viral community.Where love is spread all over the northeast.
Maybe my twitter pals know singles who are interesting and maybe I know people who benefit from what they do.Let's transcend to real life meetings, let's get down to business because we make this country run , not politicians, we are above their behavior we help each other and leave them behind.I know the right path, so let's meet and benefit.
Interactions should be magnetic and positive, inviting and real.Truthful and honest with compassion.We are human.The human condition through positive affirmations will win out in the end.
Iask you will our network run deep and become massive.Jump on the realistic matchmaking bandwagon and join me.I think positive and you need to do the same.Let me know you, say hello.
John Holt
Matchmaker
Posted by John Holt on Sun, Feb 14, 2010 @ 05:11 PM
Hi guys, how are you these days? Confused from my perspective. I understand better than anyone why. When woman became highly independent and successful in life you thought that the old chivalrous ways of the world were outdated. Wrong! It is amazing how much woman really want you to be men, yes guys this is absolutely good news.Woman don't want jellyfish. Feminism did not change this. Here are some things that should describe to you how you will date woman longer than one date, now don't you guys want that?
1 Travel to the area where they live or stay home alone. This decision should be easy. Nit picking over how far you drive is foolish. I bet when you get there you might be pleasantly surprised. I know you guys all to well, if she is a head turner or you really like her the distance will shrink.
2 Do not count your dollars and dimes on a date, this sends the cheapo signal, guess what? She wont feel worth it to you and you don't have to be extravagant.
3 Confidence, confidence, confidence and more confidence. This assures woman in your presence.
4 Make a decision in this lifetime and back it. Wishy washy washes you down the drain with her.
5 Romance is still in vogue, do the romantic gestures they go a long way.
6 Take care of your hygiene, especially your dental hygiene. Fix your teeth if you need it.
7 Dress as if you took great care to look good.
8 Be social and entertaining on a date. This sends the "your a fun guy" signal.
9 Can you converse about things interesting? You'll need to do that.
10 Is your personality soothing as opposed to abrasive.
11 Don't be a blow hard and brag about yourself, tell a woman your humble story and ask her about her and pay attention.
12 When the time is right the sum total of affection is affection in return, too fast too soon and the sum game is finished in the first inning.
13 Be handy with technical things or advice.
14 Just be confidently comfortable with who you are.
These are just some hints to help the confused men these days. From one man to another I must tell you it is time to be a man again. The endless searching for woman will stop once you figure that out.You get to return to prominence, even many woman will talk about how your dateable.
So I hope once again that realistic matchmaking is the force to bring about change.Playing a major role in your success.
John Holt
Matchmaker
Posted by John Holt on Sun, Feb 14, 2010 @ 12:51 PM
Let me wish anyone who reads this blog a happy valentines day.I also want to tell my members of my service that they are appreciated on this day especially.I also appreciate all of you on any day.
Valentines day is a day of appreciation for those you care about, it can be a lovely expression of personal love and gratitude.The love and gratitude does not have to be a romantic interest it could be any human being you care about.If you are a member of Tri-state dating service I care about you!
I hope all of you spend today pleasing others close to you.This can make today a pleasant experience. If your fortunate to have a lovable, huggable warm and fuzzy romance going on, be thankful for how lucky you are.
John Holt
Matchmaker
Posted by John Holt on Sat, Feb 13, 2010 @ 08:06 PM
A dinner party took place recently in this service where 12 people attended.I heard feedback from 8 of the people in attendance.I got several inquiries on people wanting to see each other again, some will and some were turned down.What did I learn from the feedback.
1 Todays man lacks in confidence, presence and command.
2 That any man who can articulate well in conversation has half a chance with woman.
3 One man basically told me he was out of his league but had some interest in one woman but because of 1 hour 15 minutes in distance that wont happen, what a shame.
4 Two people will date from this party and one man who is missing out on several great opportunities because of height intimidation.He is 5 foot 10 the woman that he fears are 5 foot 10, 5 foot 9 she liked him and 5 foot 8 she liked him too.The 3 of these woman are excellent candidates for anyone.They are here and ready.
The bottom line seems to be a lack of command, presence and confidence.Men if you are reading this and wondering why your not getting anywhere with woman this should give you insight.
Perception rules over reality in many cases.Here are some very magnetic items to mull over to make yourself more sought after.
1 Try to make yourself irresistible to the opposite sex by learning what makes them become attentive.Put this theory to work when you meet persons of the opposite sex.
2 Try to do something that would satisfy the opposite sex.Think of what that is and in the form of conversation or a gesture put it into play.
3 Posess charm, if not go to charm school.
4 Be delightful to be around, this is achieved by smiling and really paying attention to the person your with.
5 Become enchanting, do things that make people smile and want to talk to you and continue down that road, you will be enchanting to them.
6 Engage in conversation that gets and commands interest.
7 Say something memorable, this leaves an impression in their minds and you will be remembered.In order to date someone you must get in their mind.They must be thinking about you when you call them.
8 Be gracious, ask them about themselves and when you like what they tell you keep up the interest, tell them you like the subject they are talking about.
9 Have just the right subtle touch, a gentle hand on their arm while making eye contact or a gentle rub of the shoulder momentarily sends signals.
Finally if you like someone, tell them they were an unexpected pleasure to meet.
This should replace sitting around nervous with nothing to say.If you do this then you will be dateless and we don't want that.
Now I want to tell men who are confused that woman want command, presence and confidence.They dont want weakness, ambivalence, non committment and wishy washy behavior.
Men want woman to be sweet and feminine.By the way those woman at the dinner party were smart, sweet and feminine and great matches for some man who get's it.
John Holt
Matchmaker
Posted by John Holt on Fri, Feb 12, 2010 @ 11:23 AM
Remember the the race between the tortoise and the hare? I do, in that race slow and steady got the job done.In my business fast and faster is a demand.What do I really care about? I care about you and who you will end up with ,permanently. So with valentines day this weekend I am ever recognizing those that are alone and there are many of you in that position.So the pursuit of success is the order of the day.Here are some things that you need to know to pursue success.
1 Calm down and have a confident, cool demeanor, act like your worth it to meet, not desperate.
2 Examine your list of requirements and eliminate the nit picky frivolous ones.
3 Learn to wait patiently as good things come to those that wait.
4 Plan surprise activities that you don't normally do where the opposite sex is present and talk to at least 5 members of the opposite sex at those events.
5 Stop being overly superficial, 96% of us are not smoking hot, we are atractive in our own right.Narcissism is a terrible thing to live with and men , look in the mirror if your not smoking hot why in the world do you think you can attract the babe.
6 Take my advice on 90 days of fun philosophy, find an interesting man/woman and just have fun dates for 90 days and perhaps a love connection will take place.
7 Evaluate everything you did in the last 5 years to meet someone and change all of that into new ways to meet people, wake up and breathe the fresh air of new territory.
8 If you really want to be married someday then examine your core values and how they match with someone over time.
9 Assess the geographical areas up to 2 hours away from you and make yourself available to as much that goes on in order to meet other singles.
10 Be psychologically healthy, get rid of baggage in therapy sessions and deal with your emotional issues before you date someone.
11 Singles no matter what you look like you can make yourself appealing, learn how to do that.
12 Physical fitness is atractive, excercise a minimum of 1 hour per day.
13 Men , learn that woman love romance and get into a romantic mindset.
14 Go on the offensive ladies.I know alot of men who would love it if a woman asked them out or invited them to an event or social gathering.
15 Know yourself and what makes you appealing and find a person of the opposite sex that responds to your image and style.
16 Design a plan to meet people, you can't meet them staying home.
17 Never feel sorry for yourself because your worth it as a positive happy person, aren't you?
18 Dont play the blame game, it is no one elses fault your alone but your own, the world is jammed with singles, 51% of all humans are single.
19 Always be complimentary to the opposite sex, they will like you and want to be with you.
20 Change your mindset and change substantially your goals, change sometimes is best.
21 Seek out technical assistance to find people for you and be open to meeting them.If your picky your likely dateless.
22 Be creative with ideas and use them to plan dates, if it is new and exciting the person your asking just might go out with you.
23 If you are looking for specific types then go where they congregate, you don't go to the herring pond to catch rainbow trout.
24 Make time in your schedule to devote to dating, if your difficult to schedule your becoming frustrating to the opposite sex and they will move on.Away from you.
If you use these 24 items to your advantage you should find it easier to locate and meet singles.Remember that taking control of how you meet people is key to getting there, dont sit there helpless and yes rejection will happen as well as acceptance.Don't avoid dating and meeting people out of fear of rejection.Use this article to measure your pursuit of success and remember instant gratification is not what dating is all about.It takes time!
John Holt
Matchmaker
Posted by John Holt on Wed, Feb 10, 2010 @ 05:12 PM
Trying to cater to the needs of all singles is a major undertaking.I have had insight and vision into the world of singles, dating and relationships since 1992. This matchmaking is not an easy proposition, however I embrace this with a high degree of energy.
My business has evolved over the years to be a business that matches people appropriately.Meeting your needs and requirements is a major job, evaluating your needs is even bigger.In the world of singles this sometimes means that it takes time to find the exact matches you look for, not any match the right match.Timing is everything in this business.Todays single person is a direct result of the marketing thought process of our retail model.This means to most singles, buy now, recieve momentarily gratification.If gratification is achieved soon then the consumer is happy.Think this over folks. When you buy products this is possible.Put this idea of instant gratification behind matching people with millions of issues, criteria, selectivity and visual appeal issues and I ask you is it really possible in matchmaking?
My vision for this business is to educate you about what is actually possible, so the sales model for selling memberships to you is different than most services.I tell you things that give you instant feedback, born from the truth not a ridiculous fairytale.This makes my sales process honest not selling you memberships just to make money.The truth is my friends this takes time and many of you suffer from dating anxiety which is to satiate your desire to be with someone right away, it must be right and it must be now or tantrums will begin.This goes psychologically back to childhood where you may have acted up and got pacified for screaming and carrying on.Just remember that instant gratification works if your buying a sandwich, not entering into the psychological world of matchmaking.This isn't burger King where you get a fast meal your way.This is a process ,so I want to promote my vision where you become patient, take a deep breath, live life and get matched with top priority treatment.Don't get caught up in the idea if you have to wait that there is no one for you.This is about timing.I established the brand realistic matchmaking ,it suits this business, hopefully it will turn the industry upside down and provide a customer with the truth.If your greedy you wont sell this truthfully will you? If you are honest you will tell the truth and sell this with honesty and vision. The provision of psychological support to customers is nessacerry in this envirnment, why, because rejection is difficult to deal with. There is also a fair amount of stumbling in the dating process.It takes alot of first meetings to find someone to date.Providing support to customers is paramount in this process.Realistic matchmaking is a process.Lets take a look at strategic positioning in tri-state dating service.
The goal is to spread by educational marketing and public relations the brand of tri-state dating service which is realistic matchmaking.This will replace in the marketplace this idea of tell them anything, sign them up and match them with anyone.It takes guts to do it the realistic way.This means you must educate men/and woman who might be warped in their sense of who they are or who they could be with ,that realisim is the only thing that will deliver them from the frustration they created for themselves.So let's get deeper in strategy.There are many things to look for in my 360 degrees of vision.I must be fearless on a daily basis as venom sometimes comes with the territory.Some singles want to blame anyone and everyone for their misfortune in dating, afterall it was never their fault they are alone, so dealing with this is difficult.I must try to be friendly about this however never straying from the truth, so the goal is to get this hollywood image nonsense out of your mind, to educate the visual among you about the reality of what most people look like.The images that you see in the movies and television are of the beautiful people who comprise 4% of the entire united states population, yet many of the men out there think their life is ruined if they don't get the trophy.I must educate men that woman have wonderful qualities and really only7% of all woman are ugly in looks.I must also educate woman that only 4% of all men are tall dark handsome and enormously successful.This is the premise for the begining of reality.I am at the center for all this.I am associated with thousands of singles and what I like about all of you is your all just so magnificently interesting, you all look different but you are all interesting and can be enjoyable people.If I can enjoy you so can't someone else if they get rid of the trophy mentality.This is dating not an african safari, your not bagging trophies.I hand picked all of you because I have 360 degrees of vision for you.I ask you to let me plan and manage you through a process.The process has bumps in the road it isn't the yellowbrick road it is the bandwagon that is traveling through your city and town.I have seen huge growth in c.t especially in new london , middlesex, new haven and fairfield county.Rhode island has had a major growth spurt since october of 2009.I have now made major in roads into new york.I am now as of today welcoming in long island and new york city.This is big, afterall the big apple is a major undertaking.I see good possibilities, so boston where are you?The corridor from new york city to boston is major.There will be a campaign to promote heavily in central massachusetts and lets look at southern vermont and the capitol region of new york.My vision is clear.
Now what will happen.
1 Singles of all kinds will be embraced by tri-state dating service.
2 Compatibility and realistic matchmaking will be the creed, ending desperation and dating anxiety.
3 This service will be priced in a reasonable way, replacing years of monthly online fees that get you nothing but space rental and putting an end to thousands and thousands of dollars dating service that cant give you what is commensurate for the price you paid them when you were delerious from a false sales pitch.
4 Patience will be the creed or openess will be nessacerry.
5 Larger numbers of you will be confident that you learned that realistic matchmaking is the right way to go.
So I ask you.Do you want to work with me?I will go out of my way to help you.Is it time to take an introspective look at yourself? Together we make it happen only if you adopt realistic matchmaking, that you look inward at yourself, make peace with who you are and look at others in a more open way, forget age, forget vanity and face up to reality, it will end years of frustration chasing fairytales and dreams that never come true.This will make it easier than ever.Tri-state dating service is in business to tell the truth, to help you with reality and to move you from being frustrated and single to happy your with someone.You can turn to your friends with confidence and tell them that the matchmaker got you to see reality. In C.T , R.I M.A AND N.Y AND INTO V.T it is a matter of when, where and how you will end up with someone.This is a movement not just a dating service so embrace reality.Having reality is on my side, isnt it! Can you see my vision?
John Holt
Matchmaker
Posted by John Holt on Mon, Feb 08, 2010 @ 08:25 PM
My friend the dating coach Ronnie Ann Ryan is having a week long blog-a- thon for single woman.It started today 2/8/10
Discover how to celebrate valentines day single style, plus savvy dating tips to find love.This is a first tme event which raises awareness for the positive aspects of celebrating valentines day as a single adult.This holiday often causes single woman everywhere to cringe, the blog-a-thon has been created to shift that reaction to a more upbeat outlook.You will be exposed to guest bloggers from popular websites on the internet.Single woman can share and enjoy a day that is traditionally for couples.
Unite with countless single readers to take this virtual tour of some popular dating experts.
Featured guest bloggers are the dating goddess www.datinggoddess.com who has one of the top ranked dating advice sites, and has published numerous books about dating.She will be there on 2/8.
Alyssa Johnson MSW, LCSW OF www.remarriagesuccess.com helps divorced parents move into new relationships, she is the author of 250 published articles and 4 books.She will be there on 2/9
Laurie Davis is the founder of e flirt expert who co hosts a weekly web show, lovenation.She will be there 2/10
Singlemomseeking.com is one of the best dating bloggers specializing in being a parent while looking for love.she will be there 2/11
Terry Hernon Mcdonald, expert dating blogger at www.happygirlmusing.com is the author of a hot selling e book, how to attract and marry the man of your dreams.she will be there 2/12
Deanna Lorraine, innovative dating and relationship coach, helps clients transform their love life to succeed with the opposite sex at www.deannalorraine.com she will be there on 2/13
Ronnie ann Ryan, mba, occ, The dating coach who appears with me on my radio show networking singles has helped over 2, 000 singles to succeed and successfully jump start or accelerate their search for love.Ronnie is the author of a book Manifesting mr. right which I recommend all single woman read.
You can learn from the expertise of all these woman who inform, inspire and motivate single woman.
Ronnie Ann Ryan the creator of valentines day blog-a-thon said, " This is a groundbreaking opportunity for single woman to rethink their reaction to valentines day and transform the holiday experience into something enjoyable and positive.
Ronnie Ann Ryans valentines day blog-a-thon at www.after40datingtips.com 2/8-2/14
John Holt
Matchmaker Endorses this.
Posted by John Holt on Sun, Feb 07, 2010 @ 12:20 PM
Hi everyone, if your single and alone today on 2/7/10 let's use valentines day as a benchmark for starting a dating relationship.I as a matchmaker will attempt to make as many matches happen by 2/14/10 as humanly possible.I know the good feelings that come from these matches.It shows singles that I care about them on this romantic day.Perhaps last year there was no scent of roses for some of you or if your a man , no one to give them to. In order to run through the field of daffodils this year you must get started, so let's use valentines day to get you matched and headed to a bright spring season.
Hope in dating springs eternal, because most of you are destined to be with the opposite sex.It is built in.Very few people on earth can say they are happy alone.Humans crave connection and association with each other.We are social, we are not reclusive, so if you think that someone is going to find you by walking down the street and ringing your doorbell, forget it.You must make yourself available.I view this week as the premier week leading up to valentines day where either you will jump on the bandwagon or you will be alone for dinner on valentines day, so my mission is to keep that from happening.
John Holt
Matchmaker
Posted by John Holt on Sat, Feb 06, 2010 @ 08:38 PM
Yes I know, I'm reminding you that the big day for love is just 8 days from today.So are you walking the high wire over your feelings toward someone of the opposite sex or are you embracing the inevitable, which is romantic planning.It can be tricky dealing with the hearts of ladies.Maybe it is a challenge to do just the right memorable thing.So step up to the plate men.Don't loose the romantic edge.Be creative, entertaining, make it clear you care about her. It requires genuine feelings and effort to communicate them.This day of saint valentine is a springboard to romance.The actual day itself is the brightest spotlight for men romancing woman. Men will be fine as long as they make the effort to show appreciation.So make it big with your special woman and embrace the romance of the day.
On valentines day make sure she knows she is gorgeous.Make your day sensuos with passion.Plan to celebrate her elegance.Make yourself handsome for her in every way.Let it be known she is attractive to you.
If you are still looking with 8 days to go you must recognize that it is time to plan on becoming an alluring prospect.This next week we need to work fast together to get dating started for you.
If I write a tempting passage here it is because my techniques are to bring people together , especially for valentines day.
John Holt
Matchmaker
Posted by John Holt on Sat, Feb 06, 2010 @ 11:07 AM
Ladies and gentleman it only takes one and your there, in the zone.Then why in the world are all of you creating minutia laundry lists that keep you from getting anyplace fast.Yes my single friends you are holding yourself back.I just created a page on my web site titled -Realistic Matchmaking Pledge. make the pledge and watch the frustration dissapear.
It is a major deal these days to seemingly decide who you will date, what is just so amazing is , who you wont date.So please let me awaken your spirit and drive some sense into your head.
Superficial, duh John what does she/he look like?, is so superficial, pictures to look at tell you what? When on the actual date you must converse, show you have a brain.Remember in the wizard of oz, you know when the scarecrow sang a song of what it would be like if he only had a brain.By the way guys I am a man and a smart woman is so attractive to me.
To actually grow and evolve is to develop a real relationship.Get the hollywood icon nonsense out of your head and meet normal everyday people.I listen and read the information of what you want and sometimes look at you and say to myself, " how in the world did you ever think you could have someone like your asking for"
By the way the old utter nonsense about older men/woman dating too much younger is well , this is what I hear " I excercise 6 days a week and I am in good shape and after all younger men/woman are the only ones who can keep up with me" Get over that one.I know relics that are in great shape, my grandfather was 99 when he passed away and was active for 96 years of his 99 year life.Recently a member of tri-state dating service from west hartford c.t 62 year old woman dates 70 year old man from rocky hill c.t in comparison to a 57 year old man she dated from new britain c.t she tells me that the 70 year old has all the wonderful attributes and the 57 year old has at least 5 negatives.Then she said " John find me a younger man or one my age by valentines day." I said there are none that will date you and plenty past 65 that will.
Here is my suggestion.Stand before a mirror and examine your outerself and then examine your innerself, then list your assumptions on paper then find 5 persons of the opposite sex that reflect your attributes.If your a subscriber to realistic matchmaking you will be honest and guess what, you will actually find someone like you that you can be with.
Here are some truths in dating.
1 If you have a sense of humor you can attract other fun people.
2 If you are overweight you can date other overweight people, you can't date athletic thin people.
3 Usually if your wealthy you date other wealthy people.
4 If you have a creative mind you will date others with creativity.
5 If you have similiar interests you will date those that share them with you.
6 If your nice and sweet you will date nice and sweet people.
I can say ect... ect... ect... to the above!
Now what is the key to all of this.Find as many other eligible singles out there, meet them, dont jerk them around playing power and control games and yes try to give them a chance.You will experience dating and then end up having fun.You will progress with one of them to a relationship.
If you have a laundry list that is long and rules out too many people then your out of the game.You can't win a game your not in.If you don't understand this then your likely alone and without many life experiences.Inclusivity is better than exclusivity.You think your too good for most people, your a committment phobic looks oriented narcissist, your a nit picker and likely alone! Now here are some of the things that cause you to stay alone on your list of wants.
1 Woman are forever chasing Mr. charm and charisma who 7-10 times is a wolf in sheeps clothing.By the way 90% of all men are just not Mr. charm and charisma.
2 Woman are often chasing after men with money as if no millionaire was ever cheap or a bad person to be with.Bernie Madoff was a socio path and a millionaire.
3 Men chase very slender, extremely atractive woman who don't always turn out to be that nice.They are many times high maintenance.
4 Woman are looking for entertaining men as if a mans job was to be a floor show entertainer.
5 Both men and woman dig too much into each others previous relationship and rule each other out as a result of information they extract in an interogation.
6 Men will often date woman with less status and education to make themselves feel better or superior.Men need to accept and celebrate womans accomplishments.
7 Many woman need phd's or masters level education or a white collar guy.Albert einstein was a dropout and how far did Bill Gates go in school.
8 Men/ woman try to control one another too much and tend to find weaker personalities to date.
9 Woman want confident men with outgoing personalities, what happened to the quiet unassuming solid guy?
There are many more I can list.The fact is that you should get rid of these laundry list requirements as if your on a date with a checklist instead of a human being.Get rid of those ridiculous knee jerk reactionary rules that keep you single, because my friends no one is perfect.I say try to learn and enjoy one another.Remember my 90 days of fun attitude.Laugh and be frivolous and you might get somewhere other than a psycho analysts couch where your being unraveled there.
John Holt
Matchmaker
Posted by John Holt on Mon, Feb 01, 2010 @ 08:23 AM
Hi Everybody, the big day in the matchmakers world is just 13 days away.I try to make more matches on or before valentines day than usual.
By the way guys, woman are romantic sorts you know! So be a real man and step up to the plate, you know, invitations for romantic dinners, romantic getaways, candy, cards and flowers.This all goes to appreciation of your association or relationship with her.By the way before the dozen roses get droopy you should have left a lasting impression. If your still a solo let me rescue you from despair with a 2 week crash course on realistic matchmaking where you get to possibly start dating who you can be with and maybe she's that feminine, sweet lady you want to be with.This dating service can become a winning proposition as soon as you discover what realistic matchmaking is about and yes you could be overwhelming in acceptance.
Men please understand that attractive woman join dating services and are ready to meet you, just be realistic about who is attractive. If youre looking for Meg Ryan forget it.If you looking for reasonable attractiveness then these woman are here and remember ladies George Clooney is not here either.I think there are enough ravishing singles available.
If you have been out of service then being in service on or before valentines day is better than dinner alone feeling sorry for yourself.I am full of vigor the next 2 weeks running around spreading love all over the northeast.Furthermore it makes me happy to see you connected.Last year I met with a man from waterford C.T who joined on valentines day after meeting two woman individually and attending a dinner party he then met a woman from seymour C.T It was her third match they are now together for 8 months.
Remember tri-state dating is the birthplace of realistic matchmaking and it is what makes sense.It is the honest reality of who you are and who you can be with.I think that pleasent surprises are coming for many, hopefully in the next 2 weeks.You could be next 800-252-6210
John Holt
Matchmaker