Posted by John Holt on Mon, Nov 30, 2009 @ 09:37 AM
Happy holidays! This is truly how I feel this time of year.I hope you do too.If you don't I want to talk to you 800-252-6210 Let me show you how I will change your life by sending you out to meet people.
No doubt that many of you are dreading the holiday season, why because most of you made excuses all through the year about making dating a priority , so here you are in the king of all excuse making seasons crawling into isolation.Isolation or much worse depression.This is not good.This year many of you have the economy at christmas time to add to your excuse list.So if this time of year is about being happy full of love and joy then why oh why are you getting ready to make your annual excuses.If your holiday season is stressful then you have 2 ways to go.
1 Wallow in your excuses.
2 Tell yourself that this year I am going to put that behind me.
If you picked number 2 then you should call me 800-252-6210 for life changing strategy.
The holidays have beauty and charm and you need to be part of that element.It is spirit that is positive.Let's relieve any tension about dating and move forward.Don't surrender to depression this time of year.Emotional stress, tension and anxiety about the holidays can harm your health and spiral you downward for months to come.This year must be a way to solve your holiday woes.Here are some important things to know.
1 Find a way to reduce identifying stress.
2 Establish a way for meeting people and forming dating relationships it gives you a happy reason for spending each day.
3 Take advantage of holiday sales and deals they are out there, including my service at this time of year has deals.I and other merchants understand the economic pinch.We still want you as customers.
If you have been without someone especially if you are widowed then the absence of the beloved person this time of year can be unbearable.Feelings of lonliness and depression are seeping in.It may be time to move on, never forgetting that wonderful person who passed away.You will see others enjoying themselves, join in don't retreat.
Instaed of closing yourself to the family pressures of being single, decide to meet it head on and admit your looking and wanting to meet someone instead of shriveling up in the corner.Take advantage of the holidays it can be ripe with people looking and connecting not excuse making, whining, isolating yourself and getting depressed.
Maybe you were too picky for the last so many years and you have no one else to blame this year but your picky self.This is a time to change, enjoy life and reflect on your situation.
Perhaps the economic difficulties are getting the best of you , well here at tri-state dating service you get great bargain prices.Holiday gift giving can be an issue Wow your in a frenzy to spend what you might not have or can you manage with what you have and achieve goals and remember there is no price tag on a relationship.
There will be many parties, events and gatherings. I want to help find you dates for them.One year a woman from milford mass. called me.I affectionately call her the christmas party lady, all she wanted me to do is find her a date for several christmas parties that year.She joined tri-state dating service and I had 40 men willing to be that date, we did wittle it down to one man, she did go on to meet others.
Perhaps your exhausted with running around these days.I remember meeting and signing up people all over r.i c.t and in n.y during december.My last appointment of many was in wesport c.t at 9:30 pm on new years eve.I am looking forward to doing all that again this year.I remember the woman from fairfield c.t who was able to squeeze in a saturday night appointment at 9 pm and joined.I will meet you anywhere at anytime to get you going.So just gather the energy and face up to the holidays, make it better for yourself, be smart, don't let your worse excuse making habits bring you down.
Lonliness is my business.I cure it by introducing you to people.I want to find you a dinner companion.I want to find you that person to socialize with at the party.Even just find you a friend.If your not invited to many places perhaps I can connect you with someone else who is in the same spot, then you wont be alone.Did you know that the worse things that can happen are further emotional disturbance, so if your lonely call me 800-252-6210 so we can work it out so you won't be alone.You don't want seasonal emotional disturbance this time of year.You must get out try to do happy activities.I suggest you seek out happy things to do.Deal with the sources of your anxiety, get control of it and try to seek a happy place.
I understand as a professional why your stressed and depressed.I am here to breathe a relationship into your life to correct your mistakes in strategy and match you for holiday happiness.The psychological condition must be changed, the excuses must be in your past.
Happy Holidays From
John Holt
Matchmaker
Posted by John Holt on Sun, Nov 29, 2009 @ 10:54 AM
Happy holidays to everyone, all of you are valuable people, integrators into the process of realistic matchmaking.My business plan is to network with as many valuable people that will make realistic matchmaking reality.It is crucial that you understand there are no quick fixes to meeting compatible singles ,it is a process.It is critical that things unfold to reality based thinking.This current process unfolds from strategic associations valuable to promoting this process.This is a common sense approach to dating, why because it is needed.The target audience for realistic matchmaking is to be critical about fast track desperate fixes.Those well known online companies market instant success yet 88% of you fail at online dating, online dating is a circus with a casino like atmosphere that preaches speed and accessibility and produces shallowness and non success.Remember faster isn't always better.
I embrace all those that became married through this process as marriages guide word of mouth business to tri-state dating service.It also provides me with purpose for being alive.I feel honored and greatful when weddings are announced.New london county c.t has been a wonderful place where my partnership with hall media has helped get out the word on wnlc and kool 100 The message has reached some great people.New london county c.t has produced some great people who also spread the word to others. I have alot of contacts in new london county c.t Norwich, mystic and niantic are now in the 3 top enrolled towns in this service.
My association with c.t contacts has produced alot of woman from central c.t and southwest c.t I recomend you attend their dances as they are fun.I also reccomend that men from anywhere in c.t sign up and benefit from meeting woman I get from c.t contacts, Strategically my e mail campaign with steve vizolo of the single event has placed some great members in my service and some quality men from from central c.t and hartford county.I have enjoyed doing business for many years in hartford , new haven and new london counties.My association with dating coach ronnie ann ryan has been magnificent, if you want common sense ideas and direction about the world of dating you should attend her workshops and sign up for her service at nevertoolate.biz I have done well especially in fairfield county c.t and all over mass, r.i and westchester county n.y because of my e mail promotion with ronnie anne ryan nevertoolate.biz The members I have gotten enrolled that were clients of ronnies were better prepared for dating. Expansion to new york and vermont is a goal that is taking root. My association with nicole leclerc a northern vermont matchmaker is a professional link that exchanges strategy and ideas and cross references clients.
The massachusetts base remains consistent throughout the state, massachusetts people must have a service they can trust because there are too many that can't be trusted, cape cod has been a consistent area of service for tri-state dating while others come and go.Eastern c.t has been an area I am loyal to and continue to be for 18 years. My radio show networking singles where you can listen to me beggining in 2010 for 2 hours a week from 6-8 pm , it is currently on from 6-7 pm you can stream it at www.wnri.comwww.wnri.com my association with bouchard broadcasting has brought me many members in r.i and blackstone valley massachusetts.There is more to do with this show as it is streamed on the internet all over the country.I wish to expand this show to other stations.
So you see the proposition, it is to create value in the idea of promoting realistic matchmaking for singles who will in the long run benefit from reality not slick marketing.I also offer my services at much lower prices so strategically you can buy at all times of the year.It is not the time now to forget about this during the holidays.It is foolish to put your goal away for a season.Many wise singles took advantage of my holiday prices last year.This will never be thousands and thousands of dollars rip off service this is reality at reasonable prices.The establishment of my price structure strategically places tri-state dating service to accumulate larger numbers of people.Jumping on the realistic matchmaking bandwagon is easier when you don't have to go into debt to pay for it.
As this economy becomes more of an issue one thing is constant, good , solid relationships.I want this association to be fruitful to relationship building.Singles face the stiff headwinds of slick marketing, so weather the storm, sit down and look me in the eye for the answers not the quick fix.A robust rally occured during 2009 from january to june, during august and from october right up to today.Publicity has been part of this as magazines and news papers have written stories about this service.Robust growth is here to stay as a value proposition to you this means there are people to match you with, dinner parties to go to.The target indexes have shifted, younger people below 40 are tired of the internet nonsense, many woman are here for security reasons, professional men are coming here to find quality woman and the people past 55 all the way up to 85 know I embrace them.I don't turn away seniors I love having them here.All people need relationships.So this is a wise operation and you can see how it moves forward.I hope your part of it soon as the merry season is here the more the merrier.The best of realistic matchmaking is to come.
John Holt
Realistic Matchmaker
Posted by John Holt on Sat, Nov 28, 2009 @ 02:10 PM
Well here we are and if your not looking and a tri-state dating service package is not the best gift then what do you get the one your seriously dating?Men is it beauty and wellness items for that pretty lady you adore?Perhaps your both intellectually stimulating to one another and good books make good reading and good gifts.How about appealing clothing items that make him/her atractive looking.Is it any of thousands of electronic items available these days.Gentleman you can never go wrong buying jewelry.Could you be the traveling couple?, then luggage that is stylish might work.For the nostalgia buffs it should be memorabilia items.Maybe it's a swiss watch.How about a charm bracelet for americas sweetheart.By the way here at tri-state dating service I have alot of americas sweethearts waiting for men to get that special gift from.Ipods and cell phones and many electronic items.
When buying gifts make sure the impact that is made is appropriate for the mood of the relationship.It is always wise to know what people want in advance, although a romantic card, flowers and a jewelry piece should hit the spot with woman.For men it is usually sports related items or even subscriptions to a favorite sports magazine of his.Gift baskets for men with delicious food items are a safe bet.Sporting event tickets are a big hit with men.For woman a romtic getaway weekend paid for by you would make a hit.Romantic gifts are always winners with woman.Even ligerie is a great gift.Gift baskets with lotions and perfumes are a hit.
Just remember getting personal is what the meaning of the gift is.Whatever the gift is it has relevence and meaning.Keep in mind the personality, relevance and likes of the person you are buying a gift for.Always gift wrap with the best looking paper available.Nice ribbons and bows.
Christmas is a beautiful time of the year with lights glowing and decorations to look at.Personalize christmas and make it romantic.
If your not with someone you can give a gift to please consider joining tri-state dating service so I can get you on the fast track to meeting someone you want to give a gift to. Happy Holidays!
John Holt
Matchmaker
Posted by John Holt on Fri, Nov 27, 2009 @ 10:18 AM
It is a techno world we live in.You come here and read my blog articles, you see my tweets on twitter, you can stream my radio show networking singles anywhere in the world.I'm linked in and there is a business page on facebook for tri-state dating service.I started thinking about this yesterday when I was at a thanksgiving family gathering.I see people on the internet connecting young and old through facebook and a game called farmville where you manage your own farm and communicate with others doing the same.I saw people playing a game called wi fi which simulates boxing matches, tennis, bowling, golf, excercise calculations and other things all up on a t.v screen.This stuff is consuming peoples lives for better and worse in some cases.You can't argue with the times we are in,technology is spinning us faster than ever.I embrace most of it however I still believe old fashioned matchmaking has stood the test of time.If you think about it your at risk in the wild wild west we call the internet where really everything goes, so how exposed are you to dangers lurking.My guess based on an educated assumption is that 40% of people online are people who are out to harm you, take advantage of you for personal and monetary gain or worse you could be criminally victimized.
So what do we do with all this.Do we back off or do we risk ourselves?My consultative skill suggests that you meet people through a conduit who knows who these people are.Your life is worth it to be cautious.This is why I meet and screen everyone who joins this service.
My assessment of all this tweeting, contacting, linking and the likes of all of it is fun to do but is rather unproductive and in some cases mindless, yes it gives us a stage to play on, but who are we kidding, no human contact for awhile in the flesh in person and we remain isolated to cyberspace.This is not reality for people who want intimacy with someone in person and safely.The design of the internet has changed everyone including me as I tweet and link to and oh well all the things you can do.Yes even write to all of you.There is a price to pay and I believe it is physical and emotional dissconect from reality.Fantasy worlds are here on the internet and can distort your senses for who you are.
My proposal to you is to think of all this stuff as fun diversions, however with little value to true intimacy.True intimacy is face to face over candlelight dinners or walks on the beach or hikes or fun social events where you get to meet in person after all singles ,you can't kiss a computer screen and more importantly you can't get the true picture of who you are dealing with.Testing the waters here is one thing, finding out at a local coffee shop who they really are can be quite different.
I think we must keep perspective on this mediasphere culture, it can spin us into fantasy land, you get revived when your there in person.What a world this is and it is 2 worlds, cyberspace and reality.I opt for reality.
John Holt
Realistic Matchmaker
Posted by John Holt on Wed, Nov 25, 2009 @ 09:49 AM
You know I have to say that it bothers me to see christmas advertisements and hear christmas carols before thanksgiving.Not that I don't love christmas as that is my favorite holiday.Thanksgiving should get proper attention, it should not be the gateway to christmas and an afterthought before the day arrives, which my friends is tommorrow.
So let me tell you what I am thankful for this year.
1 That my 18th year of business has been an extremely productive year, many more people joined in 2009 and it isn't over yet.
2 I now have the best female database in all the years I have been in business, that's right men pay attention.The woman at tri-state dating service are the best I have ever had from 25-68 years of age in all age brackets, they are the best in 18 years.
3 During 2009 I can be thankful that the emotional well being of many members improved as a result of forming relationships here at tri-state dating service.
4 I am thankful that I posess the skills to help you understand who you are and who you can be with.
5 I am thankful that I am bringing into this membership people of substance.People with high intrinsic value.
6 I am thankful that I travel throughout connecticut, massachusetts, rhode island, new york and vermont meeting the most interesting single people who all have attributes to offer a relationship.
7 I am thankful for the chance to solve your dating dilemas with advice.
8 I am thankful for helping many of you go beyond the phobia of trying to find someone.
9 I am thankful that I assisted in helping you put behind you a miserable past relationship and sent you on to a better future relationship.
10 I am greatful that in some cases I helped you come from negativity and anger to hope, happiness and joy.
11 I am thankful for the chance to impact your thought process about realistic matchmaking with my blog and my radio show networking singles.
12 I am thankful that my radio show networking singles will be extended to 2 hours per week starting in january.
13 As a business owner I am thankful to all of you who became members this past year.
It truly is time to reflect on what we have to be thankful for in this uncertain world.A world that is becoming more difficult for people to function in. This is my mission, realistic matchmaking the brand of tri-state dating service it helps people live better through relationships with intrinsic value. The coming months will be filled with those people who make excuses and lose out and those that get my message and embrace my mission of realistic matchmaking.This is a service to be trusted because the truth is all I deal with.There will be some that doubt that statement and are frustrated because they are unrealistic about who they are and who they can be with.THIS HOLIDAY SEASON you should develop your spirit, the spirit that guides you toward relationship building not the destruction of excuse making.Just believe I know you as a good person who should be represented effectively.Know that your a good person and I will promote you. Get into the season, dont retreat from it.Start thinking deeper instead of looking shallow.Let everybody know your beautiful and vibrant both inside and outside.The bigger picture this time of year is to be embracing, to enjoy people and if your not with anyone let me fix that for you.Believe that your valuable and let me promote you.There is no ceiling on the value of a meaningful relationship.
After you shop for everyone else which is a good thing to do, take care of yourself by getting a head start on 2010, by investing in relationship building.Please welcome the idea that you will actually do something instead of making excuses.
One thing to be very thankful for is that I can help you rise above to the next level , to take you from dating anxiety to dating relationship.I met so many woman from connecticut last week and guess what, within 3 days I matched them all with someone.These woman are all everyday woman who are normal, appealing serious woman about meeting men.This is good for men.I have put together 6 dinner parties many in rhode island and c.t that have taken place in november and will take place in december at nice resteraunts with people who believe that meeting people this time of year is important.Matches have happened as a result of these dinner parties.There are men in this service that have been given so many opportunities recently they can't keep up with it so more of you the merrier at the merry time of year.I look forward to this time of year it's big, don't miss out on it.I am coming to a town near you soon.
John Holt
Matchmaker
Posted by John Holt on Mon, Nov 23, 2009 @ 10:15 AM
Well the holidays are here and many of you have found someone and many of you never found anyone.The people who didn't find anyone should not begin to start making excuses wrapped in ribbons or quietly fade away ignoring party invitations.This is a time for opportunity, check out my article on the ten reasons why you should join during the holidays. By the way anyone who calls me this time of year and would say to me "well I will wait until the holidays are over" is never going to call me after the holidays either, they will be on to the next excuse come january 2nd.
Emotional well being is attached to your health and relationships that work help your outlook.Tell your active mind these days that you wish to be alone and your mind tells you different, so be efficient about meeting your goals.I want to meet all passionate singles who want to start this process now during the holidays.I want all singles who wish to jump on the bandwagon of realistic matchmaking who are fed up with games, nonsense and fairytales and want to talk to me and become serious about meeting people you can be with.I am changing the dating culture with my viewpoints, my radio show networking singles, my practice of matching, my social dinner parties, my searching for you, yes you! I know your out there I meet many of the people who decided every week.This is a great time of year to meet me.I have a great attitude this time of year.I embrace the special feelings of this time of year each person I meet is special to someone and I will find the one they are special to you.Blaming anyone for your singlehood is a failed strategy, embracing realistic matchmaking is your strategy.Do you have passion for life and want to share it ? It is time now, not time to use the holidays as an excuse.My cause realistic matchmaking is my signature brand, the brand of tri-state dating service, my passion , my cause.Like minded singles will get matched as we compound the already large data base.This is contagious ,jump on board.The more people who understand realistic matchmaking instead of using the holidays as an excuse the better.This service succeeds from you deciding to do something.Last year I had a huge amount of people join in the last 3 weeks of december, they understood proactive thinking.I take a profound interest in everyone who joins this service.I treasure meeting all of you and helping you with finding people.I bet all of you yet to join are interesting people with interesting lives to share with someone.There are infinite possibilities ahead of the proactive person, there is nothing for the excuse makers, except more toxic excuse making. Reaching your full potential as a human is based on relationship building and peace of mind occurs when your search ends and your relationship begins.Unlock your potential.Remove your use of the holidays as an excuse get that mental block out of your head and succeed.The road to success is in your mind, embrace realistic matchmaking.
John Holt
Matchmaker
Posted by John Holt on Sun, Nov 22, 2009 @ 09:58 AM
The very word communication is totally in the forefront of every aspect of your life.This website, my blog, telephone conversations and e mails are all tools for the exchange of communication.How you are percieved in the present based on communication content and style is how you will be judgred in the future.Should you become more viable as a potential relationship for someone will depend to a greater degree with how you communicate with others.
When you meet someone it is highly important that you communicate who you are in a warm, inviting way.If you are percieved based on what you say negatively it set's a tone for failure.Unfortunately many woman interogate men and leave them wondering just what happened.I always tell men to keep their phone conversations down to friendly exchanges where it becomes obvious for a woman to want to go out and meet you in person, because meeting in person tells the whole story, if you talk and talk for hours with a woman you likely will never get out the door.My advice to woman is give the guy a break, if you talk to anyone for hours struggling to find something wrong with him you will.No one is perfect.My advice to men is to learn effective ways for co
Posted by John Holt on Fri, Nov 20, 2009 @ 08:25 AM
Hi everybody, being at your best is one thing, just being yourself is an important thing.Being just who you are and a good person should be enough to get you into a relationship.I have been meeting fun, interesting regular everyday people who if they are being themselves will make great matches for people.Hopefully you already have a meaningful life to share with someone.You can only rely on your best charecteristics to attract someone, once you step out of your box you become phony and uncomfortable portraying someone else foreign to who you are.There should be no guesswork in the way you portray yourself, if you are someone who likes yourself and is confident about your presentation to people then you will get dates, you should know that things in your life do matter and are of interest to others.Things can happen and fast if your just yourself and confident about it.I see this in all my members at tri-state dating service a place where so many people with so much potential are gathered.
Relationships should be a natural ending to a process.The process here at tri-state dating service is realistic matchmaking, this realistic matchmaking is the brand of tri-state dating service and the process is as follows.
1 You discover your important to yourself and others.
2 You have decided that quick and fast fixes have in fact created longer waiting periods to meet the right people, that it is a waist of time meeting people who are not compatible with you.The day has come where you understand that timing and availability are the keys to meeting the right person.
3 You understand that dating is a process and is fun.A fun , interesting journey, not drudgery.
4 You realize that people are interesting and you flirt and converse with them, you never interrogate them in an untrusting manner, you engage them socially and learn from it.
5 You date people for periods of time to see if it becomes serious.
6 You realize that items 1-5 have brought you to a relationship that compliments the real you, that is not contrived out of false hope and pop culture dreams.You are realistic people who became one in a relationship that has meaning not superficial duh what do they look like shallowness.
Fairy tales are promoted as non reality however many of you are guided by them.Prince charming is not real and will never be reality for many of you.Cinderella is not real and hollywood actors and actresses are for each other, celebrity seeks celebrity.Just be who you are and be confident about it.Understand that more people are regular everyday folks, throw away the idea of fairytales.You will be in tremendous frustration if your not realistic.Remember you will never change people, look for their value as they are while your being yourself.
Let's forget about George clooney and Hallie berrie , shoron stone and Brad Pitt.They aren't attainable.It isn't possible.Now that you have lifted that weight off your shoulders embrace me.
John Holt
Realistic Matchmaker
Posted by John Holt on Wed, Nov 18, 2009 @ 06:32 AM
For the last 4 years people using online dating websites have diminished while those hiring a matchmaker have grown.Many woman have come to tri-state dating service because of security reasons.Woman believe that because I know everyone here and screen everyone it is better for them and safer for them at the same time.Men have come here because they feel like meeting more serious woman who aren't into playing games.A matchmaker is able to match you with people who will talk to you then go out and meet you.The online experience gives you e mail after endless e mail then poof they disapear and you start all over again, a matchmaker does the work, online dating sites rent space to you then you do all the work after paying them.
Now that the fad of online dating has worn off and everybody understands what it really is which is a place where12% of you ever end up with anyone while the rest of you wallow in utter and time consuming frustration a place where predators and players are waiting for you.Many of you simply got bored and tired of the whole idea.If you add up the monthly fees of online dating sites it becomes expensive if you continue to use them and you will have to because most people torture you on those sites before they will ever meet you.This endless verification of each other is as follows.
1 Technology has changed woman have not.No woman is going to go out with you until she feels safe, so men have to type thousands and thousands of words to get anywhere and yes she might dissapear because the next one in the candy store looks better than you.
2 Men on the other hand want to make sure your attractive and not misrepresenting yourself and that your normal and not emotionally challenged.
Adding fuel to this fire is me a matchmaker who writes the truth here, speaks the truth on my radio show networking singles about dating.My goal is to find you someone to end up with.Online dating sites are like the casino they hook you and keep you coming back.My business model works for you their business model works only for them.Here at my service you get attention, strategy, direction to help you.I try hard to alleviate frustration from understanding why your frustrated, you get to talk to me, you can't talk to anyone running those sites.Think of online dating sites as slot machines.At tri-state dating service you get to talk to me.I answer the phone and reality is the basis of all my answers to you.Technology is wonderful afterall you found me through technology it is delivery of service that counts.Remember I want to alleviate your frustration not make it grow.
John Holt
Matchmaker
Posted by John Holt on Tue, Nov 17, 2009 @ 09:02 PM
I sincerely hope to hit that home run for you or at the very least have you meet people who are real and nice.Understanding that realistic matchmaking is understanding about the truth in dating, knowing who you are and who you can be with.Being able to put your bagagge from previous marriages and relationships behind you.Being able to find meaning in most people and treat them with respect.Having a mentally healthy outlook on life.Understanding this is not desperation in dating this is a process.Love yourself first, respect yourself and not act in desperation.It is the appropriate match I seek for you.This requires patience.
You as a member get to accept or reject refferals offered in a discusion with me your personal matchmaker.At anytime you are a member you get to call me and ask questions.No one ever has to date anyone they choose not to.You meet people through individual matches or small group gatherings.This is not fast it is done so it will be right.Right and realistic will save you time , money and put you into a relationship and out of endless searching.
Your confidential here, your picture is not all over the internet for everyone to know your personal business.I think this is more dignified.
My incentive is to fully protect you and keep your experience safe.This can be a haven for those with common sense who are accepting of people.I am the bulwark of truthfullness in this industry.I shelter you from bad people.I help you come out of your insulated shell and meet people.I assure you that matches are compatible.I listen to you and act accordingly.
Your guarentee is honesty in matching.I will give you the reality no matter how hard it is to take.Your mind can be at ease when your realistic and meet realistic people.This is not the magic kingdom , even though we love that place, this is reality.You wont loose any sleep thinking you got conned here.I am open, upfront and honest.
You can count on me to tell it like it is, listen to you and provide a fair realistic service at a great price.
John Holt
Matchmaker
Posted by John Holt on Tue, Nov 17, 2009 @ 01:57 PM
Did you know that many men are assuming the roles that females have played in the past in life and dating.Why is this happening? Could it be an accident or feminism coming home to roost in a big way.I hardly believe woman shouldn't be rewarded for what they achieve.The equality in the sexes has given woman a more competitive advantage in the workplace, many woman now have jobs that men had.So when a woman wants a successful man who has a better job than her she finds less of those men in the dating pool, she won't go out with men who have a lesser status and then complains constantly that where are all the good men.Let's redefine good men.Why couldn't good men be men that are employed, tell the truth, treat woman with respect, decent looking and fun to be around.Why must men be in a big job one larger than woman?
Could it have anything to do with poor relationship skills?Woman are complaining that men are not acting like men.I say the feminization of men primarily from the political correctness crowd has caused this.The way boys are being brought up to be overly sensitive oddly enough isn't playing well with woman.Men are now becoming less assertive, many wait for woman to call them, guess what, most woman don't call men.I deal with this as a matchmaker.I have a rule here at tri-state dating service.The man must call the woman first and the woman must not play games and return phone calls.Men please take stock in this, you should be deciseive and confident when talking to a woman.Men, most woman want permanent relationships.Most woman still want you to be men.This does not mean that you should be controlling and overbearing, you shouldn't be a pushover either.Woman have many choices and must learn to draw out men.The idea being that you can certainly find clever ways to accentuate the male qualities deep inside of him.Ladies view this new behavior as a fun challenge.
Why are woman unhappy with men in large numbers.Here are the reasons.
1 Committment phobia, this is where men are behaving like Peter Pan flying around everywhere looking for a buddy to play with not to commit to.
2 Motherly love, yes he wants you to be his mommy not his girlfriend, so you can take care of him.
3 Emotional instability from previous relationships.
4 He doesn't have a job like mine, as if you were better than him for that reason.
5 He isn't my prince charming image. {a fairytale for most}
6 He can't keep up with me financially
7 He doesn't tell the truth.
8 He doesn't dress well enough for me.
9 He is boring and doesn't entertain me.
So men what do you do about this? Many of you don't know what to do.This is the wonderful world we live in and the byproduct of a 55% divorce rate.Roles are reverseing and woman must learn that men are no longer the predominant ones in a relationship.So are we all giving each other a chance?I say not enough of you are doing this.I suggest that comunication in an honest way without the games, just open and honest communication where we tell each other what we want and how we feel.Human emotions are at play in the battle of the sexes.Damaging each other emotionally is not good for anyone.Please be free of confusion.It isn't working under politically correct role reversal, sorry gloria steinem it isn't working.Men and woman are wired differently in the real world we live in and role confusion is just what it is, confusing.In this confusion men and woman aren't understanding this and how to deal with it.
Rejection comes hard, it creates lonliness and depression.You then become miserable.These are the byproducts of confusion, lack of communication and unwillingness to give people a chance.These days it is always what is wrong with him or her.Now men please understand that this obsession with skinny minnie is ridiculous, many of you can't have the anorexic woman you visualize in your mind.Woman have to run all day, go to aerobics, swim for miles, lift weights all to exhaustion while doing beauty treatments and eating only vegtables and fruit and live in fear they might gain a pound and you will leave her.This isn't reasonable.Now I am not suggesting that woman let themselves go either.Ladies if you think forever is the amount of time it takes so your taking your time being picky about every little thing you will grow old less attractive and alone.Pleas all of you men and woman try not to be desperate, uncaring, vain,narcisistic, bitter, paranoid, untrusting and a general overall snob.
Here is the bright side of not being the items above I explained.You are capable of being enchanting to each other.Enthralled in great conversation.Evocative of the greater qualities of each sex.Captivating in personal charm, even mystical in persona, oh how much fun were getting here.Both sexes set the mood of romance because hmmmmmm we are capable, even seduction, now how much fun is that.We can't loose our minds we must understand each other and be reasonable not acting like children.Yes you too can enter my timelss realm of realistic matchmaking and achieve not fail.Yes this is a wonderous journey of eye opening strategy to get you into a real relationship.Be passionate as I am about this realistic matchmaking, get less confused and become more open and trusting and yes begin to like each other again and not try to control each other.
John Holt
Matchmaker
Posted by John Holt on Fri, Nov 13, 2009 @ 04:14 PM
Do you quite often sit around in amazement as to why you remain single.I meet some great people here at tri-state dating service and I often wonder why they are still single.It is fun to be single you know, yes that's right, fun.Anything is what you make of it.If you don't have a significant other you can put in play some fun ideas to meet others like you and there are many.You most certainly can congregate in places where other singles are and be social, don't forget to flirt.Flirting is fun.Even though the holiday season is near it doesn't mean you can't decide to meet people.This is not the time of year to fold up and dive into your foxhole.The very fact that your not getting any younger should haunt you to be with someone living life to the fullest.
It can be a festive stroll to see the christmas lights arm and arm with many great men/woman that I have here at tri-state and by the way they are joining in massive numbers over the last 6 weeks.I hope you ride the crest of this wave.This wave is bringing in some real good people and I am excited.
It really is unfortunate that anyone would just be sitting there lamenting over the next 8 weeks.
You might be saying what can I do?I just can't seem to get motivated.My tradition is based in inspiration and the season for that is coming.I enjoy traveling to all the places and meeting people that I will help find someone for.I have been in the last 6 weeks.Providence r.i, warwick r.i, east greenwich r.i , fall river mass. , milford mass,mansfield mass., niantic c.t,east lyme c.t, sutton mass., wakefield r.i, woonsocket r.i, north kingstown r.i, waterford c.t, norwich, c.t,dartmouth mass., pawtucket r.i, lincoln r.i, mystic c.t, I love mystic c.t it is in the top 20 enrolled towns in this service. baltic c.t, franklin mass., stratford c.t, branford c.t, hartford c.t, groton c.t, enfield c.t, west hartford c.t, stonington c.t, lisbon c.t, boy do I get around.I don't attend pity parties, I meet some great people who say " I am ready to embrace realistic matchmaking".It doesn't matter if your 30 or 80 join my service.The best is yet to come.The tri- state band wagon is coming to your area soon.Do you live in fairfield county c.t or westchester county n.y I will signing up people in those areas soon.Do you know that norwalk c.t is in the top 20 enrolled towns in this service.
Ladies and getleman meet me soon and then meet great people.There have been many who found love at tri-state dating service.
If you are involved in picking the wrong men or woman let me try for you.Sometimes my input helps.This is the season for picking those that are really interested in getting out there.I delight in meeting people and spreading connection around my vast terrotory.It is all about networking, all about great attitude all about a joyous season coming up.Let's throw the holiday spirit around and get ready for some meaningful matching.What do you want out of life.If the answer is a real relationship then meet me southern new englands most realistic matchmaker.Ladies want real men and boy you cab find the ladies here.
Take all your fears and throw them in the barrel forever, take my inspiration and follow me.Be honest with yourself and open to meeting real folks, suburban folks, cosmopolitan folks, rural folks great folks.Begin the process of realistic matchmaking.If you want to begin to develop a healthy relationship accept my leadership out of the rut you are in and examine a strategy.The reason your still single is because your not inspired, motivated and maybe you should take my lead.I have 18 years of experience.Come join me!
John Holt
Matchmaker
Posted by John Holt on Wed, Nov 11, 2009 @ 09:30 AM
Hi everyone, I feel compelled on many occasions to pontificate my mission to all singles, my mantra so to speak.My mission is to provide realistic matchmaking to reasonable singles who understand this is a process that takes time.This is not magic, quick fixes or dating for the desperate.My clients are excellent people from all walks of life, sometimes they are expecting matches faster than they should get them.I do provide customer service to my members so I must respond to people with dating anxiety, yes this is the feeling singles get when they wish not to be alone another minute.I must as if I was an emergency rescue team respond to them imediately or run the risk of being the bad guy and I am such a lovable matchmaker that I don't want to be a bad guy.I also bear the bad news from time to time which is " I wish you would wait for the right match not just any match".
When entering into my area which is connecticut, massachusetts, rhode island, new york or vermont, ahhhh vermont what a beautiful state.Not that all the other states aren't.You must think in terms of what ages you want people, here I currently have them from 25-85 years old, all realistic singles are invited.If you want this to work you must be open to at least 50% of available singles in your age bracket, you can be selective however the more selective you are the longer you wait and to be very honest if you are picky and unreasonable there is no place on earth for you to succeed, you must go to a professional counselor and find out why you are like this.You sign up with my service because your all right and you are ready to engage a process that will deliver you into a place where relationship building begins, you don't join this service if you think this is dial a desperate date.You join because your valuable as a human being and have much to offer, you don't join if your superficial and just look at pictures to detirmine who you will date.You join because you want me to find a long term partner for you so you never have to do this again and maybe we all laugh and smile at your wedding together as I have done before.The weddings are the best part of my business.I just love going to them.
Realistic matchmaking is not for reactionary impatient people.I give out advice that is sometimes hard to take, it is because I care about you and want you to be happy with a real person who wants you for who you are not what you look like.This is a place where all of you are admired for who you are.No players welcome here.I want to match you the right way not just any way.Compatibility doesn't happen overnight with a wave of my magic wand.
Here are the benchmarks of proper realistic matchmaking.
1 Suitable age appropriate matches.
2 Reasonably realistically attractive people from average everday types to above average types.
3 Responsive people who want to date not playing torturous control games in e mail or on the telephone.
4 People with personal charisma combined with truthful behavior.
5 People that are a catch for many intrinsic reasons.
6 If your the all american male or all american girl next door this is the place for you.
7 The non frustrated are the best clients
8 I apply many factors to your match.These factors take into account your total makeup as a person.
9 Honest to goodness feedback is offered here by me and my clients it only helps the process.
10 Personalty matching and enhancing.
11 Safety for woman by selecting the right men.
12 Image building.
13 Working with people as individuals.
Yes this is a dynamic process for the patient person not the desperate, the players and the superficial.I just simply stay away from promoting the dangerous games in dating.Do you have value? Can you be patient? Do you want meaning in a relationship? Then you qualify for realistic matchmaking not desperate dating.More and more people are learning about realistic matchmaking everyday.There are no primadonas here no egotists just real people.Many are not the hottest in town , however they are real and reasonably attractive.I have fabulous success stories here at tri-state and it was always those that were patient with the proces.
John Holt
Matchmaker
Posted by John Holt on Tue, Nov 10, 2009 @ 02:05 PM
If you wish to be preffered more by many as opposed to less ,then you must talk positive about people you come in contact with .If you are deviceive then your toxic to people who recognize this is who you are.Building your popularity by speaking positively about people in your past will help you turn your dating life upward.
Attending to openess will get you more dates with the best possible candidates, complaining and whining will get you nowhere.Attending singles events with an open mind will turn your dating world upward.I fully endorse as a matchmaker that you open up to people and think upward thoughts not negative downward thoughts and yes don't use the upcoming holiday season as an excuse making period of negativity.It is widespread acceptance that will lead you upward.Have I struck a responsive chord? Is it time to give people a chance? Pay attention to who is available and give them a chance, because it is with a proper attitude you move upward. It is key to remember that you count and that you are important and you should also speak in positive tone this will bring an upward direction to your dating life.Here are some tips on upward mobility in dating.
1 Have perserverance, go out, make contacts daily.
2 Speak well about others in your past.
3 Remember your not perfect so approach others who are not perfect.
4 The best cure for lonliness is pick yourself up and be with people.
5 Caring about conversation and listening to people will help you learn about them, you just might grow with one of them
6 Tell yourself that it is time to move upward and into a relationship with someone, you only do this when your proactive about it.
John Holt
Matchmaker
Posted by John Holt on Fri, Nov 06, 2009 @ 02:21 PM
Good grief why talk about this, because I know what will happen.Several years ago a member called me crying after thanksgiving, she was totally alone that day.Family was in florida and on the west coast and she couldn't get there.She said to me " John you always have decent men in your service can you find me someone soon" She is from new london c.t I told her in less than 24 hours about 2 men, she went out met the first, not for her, the second one she dated for 4 months.This got her through christmas, new years eve, new years day and valentines day.Shortly after the 4 month man she was introduced to a man from narragansett r.i who she is still with after 3 years.Many of you single nice people will not come to appreciate my talents in the next 2 months instead opting for the misery of depression, not answering holiday invitations because you feel awkward and after all you don't feel festive as your alone. Some of you will delight in my skills as during the enchanted season you got matched with someone.If your heart is content by meeting and being with someone call me 800-252-6210 if you enjoy human misery and the feelings of depression then certainly make up your excuse that I will do something after the holidays, then curl up on the couch for 60 days of depression.The holiday season should be shared with a purpose of uttmost enjoyment.I am planning dinner parties for fantastic singles to meet in the next 8 weeks.This deeply satisfies me to match people who are alone in the next 8 weeks.My purpose is achieved.It will be my delightful gift for you to recieve a match this time of year.Get in on the fun, don't allow depression to consume you.
Depression can spiral you down deeper than the worse depths, holidays are joyous.If you are single go to all parties, let me match you, attend all events with a smile and you will feel better and be attractive.If for anything else live it up, life is too short, open up meet people don't go into excuse mode and be depressed.Now is the time for action as action get's you somewhere.I will always advocate for you, promote you.I have such wonderful people here.I have fabulously educated men.Girl next door sweet woman,attractive woman with smiles that light up rooms.Athletic men and woman, men that are remarkable with building and fixing things, artistic men and woman,Everyday joes and janes,highly accomplished people, magnificently interesting people doing great things in life, people in the medical field, all kinds of people who very much are the ones you should meet they are from 25-85 years old and all of them deserve my attention over the next 8 weeks and you do to or you can have the holiday blues another year.
John Holt
Matchmaker
Posted by John Holt on Wed, Nov 04, 2009 @ 05:45 PM
I know your sitting at the computer being tortured by the people on those dating websites, your saying enough is enough!!!!!! Maybe you just came back from the dance and 10 people shot you down.Conversation was hard to start, you asked out 3 woman they turned you down, your a woman and every guy that approaches you is not for you or much worse they are not approaching you.Well hmmmmm maybe you got that guys name from me your favorite matchmaker and he is dragging on forever to call you.Perhaps your meeting shallow men/woman that wont date you because you have kids and there selfish.Your on a streak where you cant find anyone your looking for even though you know your a catch. Maybe your the man that meets every picky woman on the market.Why you sent your picture on the net to hundreds and no one returned your advance.Your the great looking woman who wished men would know you for something else.You just wished that athletic guy came knocking but instead it is other kinds of men.Perhaps your emailing woman who just turn every man down and enjoy doing it.You could be the frustrated committment phobic, frustrated about why you are this way.Maybe you just cant schedule anything because you work 90 hours a week.Perhaps your not the most beautiful woman on earth.Maybe you just meet mr. wrong all the time.You could be passive aggressive and hard to deal with, left alone to be frustrated and figure out why me?Maybe you can't date age appropriate so you get more and more angry about it.Maybe your so vain it frustrates everyone you come in contact with.Perhaps you lack confidence and get frustrated.Your in dating frustration perhaps anger.No this isn't an ad for the center for stress and anxiety, it is a reminder that these two powerful negatives can ruin your life if you let them.So how do we turn things around?
We examine why we feel this way and how we got here and then you must have the courage to move forward in a different direction.The rat on the wheel runs itself to death because they don't know better.Do you follow the same destructive pattern that leads to anger and frustration.I know you want what you want as you bellow that statement out with pride and say I WONT SETTLE, as if an earthquake started, lighten up folks there is a world of interesting people to meet and enjoy, you dont have to marry them all and yes they aren't perfect you know.It is the rare bird these days that follows a different path whistling through the woods on a beautiful autumn day merrilly going along refusing to be angry, always trying to be happy and never sweating the small stuff, just a picture of pleasent wonder.AHH to be like that, well you can you know.After all tonight you should tell yourself your exquisite, a gem in this world and go forward, but with a different plan of action.Maybe intellectuals weren't your type but you say " I think I will meet one and learn from it" maybe your not a super athlete but singles co ed sports are full of all types, mix in.Maybe just maybe you could enjoy a play or theater production with that woman, maybe she can tailgate and go to the football game, maybe just maybe you become flexible, adorable you! Elegantly appointed as the man/woman with flexible style, not the man/woman puss face who looks like a troll.After all you will signify quality, you'll go in style your charming to be with in all your grandeur and yes your now funny, happy, jovial and guess what, your not angry and frustrated in dating anymore because you read this you changed your laughing. I cheered you up maybe and told you your wonderful if your not angry and frustrated and reasonable in dating.
John Holt
Matchmaker
Posted by John Holt on Mon, Nov 02, 2009 @ 04:15 PM
Do you ever wonder how you ever get through a day after a bad relationship comes to an end?There are many of you out there who have been through a tremendous emotional rollercoaster from being in a bad relationship.Don't you think you need a new plan in life?The basis for getting past the pain is to look at an oppositional type person, that's right, a person who in every way is opposite of the one you were with.This of course is a trial basis learning experience.If you also combine this way of thinking with my 90 day rule where you just enjoy and learn about each other in 90 days you might become a happier person or at least enriched from the experience, good or bad life is a series of experiences.It is vitally important to deal with any guilt you have about your role in past relationships.Dissect your role, make a mental list of what to do better, don't emotionally beat yourself up over this.Everything has a learning curve.Your vital link is to the future not the past.It is never a good idea to talk about past relationships with future prospects, pay attention to the person at hand.Network with people to learn.You may also need to join support groups to help you through bad break ups.Human emotions are a funny thing, they can guide you to behave in many difficult ways as well as many positive ways.Examination of the pain caused by bad relationships can help you avoid what caused them to begin with.
If someone cheated on you there is pain that leads to hurt.The hurt you experience quite often is out of rejection, you feel as though "Whats wrong with me, is it my fault?" The person who cheats may not be able to escape the feelings of guilt, this will build over time and hinder the future for that person.
Addictions that affect relationships such as pornography, drugs, alchohol, cigarettes, gambling ect... can really do a number resulting in pain and guilt.Many people live for years with addicted partners and try so hard to deliver them from the inner pain that drives their addiction.This has destroyed marriages.Side affects of addictions can be extreme emotional and physical abuse.There is tremendous pain in abuse.Abuse alters a persons thought process over time.
Financial incompatibility and much worse monetary problems over bills and daily living can lead to emotional pain, suffering and guilt.Much worse it get's people into heated arguements.
I am a very instructive matchmaker.I don't turn my back on people with problems in life, just as long as they want to move forward toward a better future.I as a matchmaker tend to be educational about the direction of the future.I really want you to workout a brighter future.
Let's take the pain and guilt process and turn it into an illuminating future.You can illuminate yourself by thinking opposite things instead of things that cause pain, the opposite of pain is pleasure.Think of 10 pleasureable things and pursue them, make them opposite the the painful things.This is invaluable to your psychological healing.
Become enlightened about why you suffer from guilt.Then make a plan to absolve your guilt and move on.Life is about moving on, causing further pain and dwelling in guilt will drive you spiralling downward into a bad cycle.
Having an open mind about who you contact next, as a matter of fact go date and meet 10 differnt types to see who you might be best suited for next.Keep abreast of knowledge that will deliver you from your past.What harm can different thinking do to you?
John Holt
Matchmaker
Posted by John Holt on Mon, Nov 02, 2009 @ 12:40 PM
Wow! I am now dealing with shock.It comes one day in time that either your spouse and you wil divorce or a spouse passes away.Two different sets of circumstances that leaves you alone, emotional and sometimes in a state of denial.You never thought this would be you.It takes some time to go through the healing process where you must gather inner strength and move on in life.
The journey that got you to many years of marriage left you in shock when your spouse passed away.The memories will live on forever.It is a must in my opinion for you to make the transition after denial wears off that you might have many more years on earth.In my opinion it becomes a neccessity to meet new and interesting people.Another new relationship that will not be a replacement but new just the same.No one should be alone for too long.You know the value of a great relationship and it can happen again.Don't compare the next with the last but move forward.Relationships that are good are indespensible.Essential to a fullfilling life.It is imperative that you look again.It can be important to your mental and physical well being.
Now if you are divorced you came from a relationship that didn't workout, so therapy might be a healing tool.It is crucial at this time that you begin to learn about yourself and what mistakes were made, so that you don't make them again.You must begin to escape from denial of any responsibiliy and take stock in yourself.A critical period takes place in the first year where you must heal, search your soul and rise from any denial about your responsibility in your previous marriage.Learn great things from it, discover what worked and what didn't, when you enter discovery phase you can rely on leaving denial behind.Is it urgent to be with the next one right away, no, as a matter of fact the rebound is likely worse.It is a prerequisite to learn about yourself and grow.Basic defense mechanisms such as denial can hold you back.The foundation of your next relationship can be built on learning what did and didn't work in your previous marriage.The heart of who you are is probably better suited for someone else.The key to healing is to get over the shock face the denial and grow from it.
John Holt
Matchmaker