Posted by John Holt on Wed, Oct 28, 2009 @ 12:14 PM
Here I am the matchmaker and owner of tri-state dating service.Daily I talk to singles about this world of dating and relationship formation.This isn't at all just about running a dating service.This is complexity at it's highest psychosocial order.Please don't kid yourself if you think otherwise.Issues are present everywhere.I try to be the beacon of reality.Realistic matchmaking is my brand.I also understand in it's complexity all about what we have become as a complex society.My advice to all of you is tear down the complexity, replace the unhealthy intensity with fun and light heartedness and learn from everyone you come in contact with.No matter what you rely on, being technology or live and in person me, you must enrich your life with social fun activity.Have instilled in your being a sense of purpose with less intensity.If your warm and fuzzy then you will be wanted as someone to be around.You will be known as lot's of fun to be with and the choice of who to be with.Dwelling in psychological malaise will get you a date with a psychologist as a client.By the way you could date a psycholgist for real as a date as I have many that are members.Dating is about real relationships, so those of you who are shallow will ultimately end up alone with no meaning in life.
Dating is not a metric race to see how fast desperation can come to an end it is a process.It brings to bear alot of reality we must face in order to succeed, so rejection unfortunately exists in dating.
You know social networking is this big wave these days.I have a business page on facebook a twitter account, I am nbay on twitter.I am linked in and writing articles here and we are spending far too much time lost in this as we then don't come in human contact, why it is much safer to tweet to IM to write on walls and to tortue each other on online dating sites isn't it?Dating without human feeling connection is worthless.You can't caress and touch pictures on a computer.So putting your nose to the grindstone tell yourself your going to meet in the flesh in person because your wonderful that way.
The success of matchmaking is that I am highly customized to be your mentor and your matchmaker.I guide you through the days that aren't so wonderful and keep you focussed.I constantly warn you about using dating as a rat race mentality.You get no where fast in dating, it is a process that many of you get frustrated with.This isn't science as some have suggested, it is psychosocial in nature.In order for you to reach spellbound status you must engage this long process.Yes here I go again with the cold hard facts.Some dates will be tidbits of time others will be hopeful, some will be the one and only has finally arrived.Yes I believe really responding to your needs is to advise you correctly.
The theory is live and in person you get me, your mentor, friend, matchmaker, analyst and catalyst oh yes social director and headhunter rolled into one man.Online you get none of that.The psychosocial live , real conversation true to the reality of life is face to face human interaction.I support your quest for love.When you pay me you should consider that I understand and work with your needs to improve your chances and to be forever preaching to you to have fun in the process.I promise you this isn't disneyworld.This is reality, although don't we all love the magic kingdom.Real social networking is face to face not tweeting, even though I do tweet.My identity is based on serving you.My role is to be catalyst.I respond to your specific human needs.If you understand that dating means an extension of real life activities then you will be in reality, if your online your in cyberspace with a false sense of the world around you.So don't desperately look for love, instead enter into the reality of life through psychosocial aspects.Yes the psychology of who you are and your lifes aspects in conjunction with the sociological aspects of group dynamics.We were meant to be next to each other in person, there is no substitute.
John Holt
Matchmaker
Posted by John Holt on Tue, Oct 27, 2009 @ 09:35 AM
Hi everyone, I was traveling yesterday throughout c.t and wow the sun was shining and the colors were magnificent, especially in the eastern part of the great state of c.t.I always gather my thoughts in the car.The latest issue I see as very important is that woman are behaving like men did ten years ago and men are behaving like woman.What do I mean, well men are still men and woman are still woman however the way both sexes are approaching dating and life in general is role reversed.Woman are out there while men are becoming evasive and hiding.Woman in larger numbers are saying here I am so where are you men hiding, more importantly why are you hiding?The men at tri-state dating service are reaping the benefits of available woman these days.
Todays man is more unsure of himself, less confident about the future and confused to a large degree about woman.The men I talk to are puzzled about how to approach woman, they fear rejection because they feel they don't know what you woman really want in a man.Todays equality in the work force and the fact that woman are getting ahead in large numbers makes this the most equal playing field ever.The basic primal instinct of a man is caretaker, yes I know I am getting primitive here.It is true, built inside the brain of a man is to be a caretaker, so most of you woman don't need a financial caretaker, you say great I need not be dependent on him for that.I as a man applaud you because I believe in total independence.Your in the best position when you can rely on youself for financial support.However ladies intimacy is another story isn't it.Getting close to the men is still important, so men , woman wish for you to still be strong emotionally, in many ways they want you to take initiative and lead.This confuses men because they think with womans equality came a desire for them to have an upper hand with men.This is further from reality.Most woman tell me they want men to be strong.Here are some other things woman want in men.
1 Reliable behavior, if your peter pan , here today gone tommorrow this does not work.
2 Entertaining as opposed to boring.
3 Have energy as opposed to lethargy.
4 Like them for other reasons then what they look like.
5 Be responsible and dependable.
6 Show a sense of committment.
7 Possess confidence.
8 Don't be ambivalent.
Those are the major things woman want from men.
Ladies in case you were wondering I am not leaving you out of role reversal explanation either, yes men it is their turn.I bet you guys thought I was unequal with my analysis.
Woman over the past decade have been up until the economy went bad by and large the most selective in history.The term "I WONT SETTLE TOOK ON A NEW MEANING" I saw as a matchmaker laundry lists of mr. perfect that just left me shaking my head in amazement.Ladies the rejection that was handed out took it's toll.Once again I will get primal, men retreated back to there caves for hibernation and to lick their wounds.Men will withdraw from dating when rejected too many times.Many woman over the last decade were on a roll handing out rejection.I often heard ,"are there any good men left out there" by woman.This string of selective behavior caused the male ego to take a giant hit.By the way woman want confident men and men loose their confidence when rejected.A special note for younger woman below age 40, you helped invent the term cougar which is an older woman who still looks great attracting men yonger than her, usually about 15to20 years younger.Why does this take place? Because as you younger woman said no no no no, They said yes.Picky, picky was the order of the day and that does not work for anyone. I have always said that I am not too good for other people.I live by that and understand people for who they are intrinsically.This is why I am everybodies matchmaker, not an elitist.However you must be a decent human being to be associated with me and yes you must adopt the idea of realistic matchmaking.Role reversal is also a byproduct of the economy.Woman think in terms of security so now with the economy being what it is they focus on the stability of a relationship, so men you are in a great position as there are many woman much more amenable these days than ever before.
Todays man is confused about woman as he still tries to date woman much too young than he can have and is just choosing based on looks.This hasn't changed.This way of thinking get's men nowhere fast.Looks are just that, looks, yes men you must talk to them and then you really find out if you can stay with them.After all staring at someone with nothing to say get's boring quick.
I reccomend the following.
1 Men if your hiding these days you should rethink that.Woman of all types are available for you.
2 Ladies , relationships that have more value than wine me dine me are what men want.
3 Men please become brave again because woman dont like and find unattractive men that are not confident.
4 Men looks are skin deep and if your just about that then your shallow and woman even the best looking ones will figure you out and dump you.
5 Woman you must widen your parameters to be more understanding and accepting of a broader group of men that are available to you.
6 Men be decisive.A decision maker is wanted.
7 Ladies be affectionate show desire, an ice princess is unattractive.
8 Ladies money does not make a man attractive.
9 Men please don't look at a woman as the recepticle of all your woes and problems, it makes you look weak and needy.
10 Both sexes need to flirt have fun and be more inviting.
11 Be genuine and not have a manipulative agenda.Trying to control someone is not healthy.
I tend to think this trend has some very confusing facets to it.Men must be stronger again, woman want that and woman must be accepting of men, don't just run at the first sign of imperfection.I think men should try to learn and understand todays woman.This world we live in is non conventional, it became anything goes and I am here to tell you that anything goes is a disaster.Men need to embrace woman not fear them and woman need to understand men are not perfect.A mans role is to be assertive not aggressive to respect woman for who they are other than what they look like and posess inner strength.Woman should be feminine inviting, accepting while still maintaining their status in the world we live in.Men need to call woman and ask them for dates not meander around in vassilation about the worry over rejection, woman should do their part about making it easy to be approached for conversation.Todays man and woman should not be reversing roles it is out of charecter.
John Holt
Matchmaker
Posted by John Holt on Fri, Oct 23, 2009 @ 02:09 PM
There is much to be written about on the subject of being single.Besides being nagged about it by your mother what is being single like.I am here to say it is not a bad thing to be single and you should have fun dating other singles.Just go out and don't feel as if it is an emergency to end up with someone.Date them , have fun.I want to caution everyone, it is not derogatory to be single.Single people are 51% of the united states population, hooray for you.This means your a majority.I just enjoy talking to all of you and matching you or planning those fun dinner parties you can attend.Being single means you have magnificent choices in meeting people.
If you choose to , think about your great thoughts of planning your social agenda.Having a full social agenda gives you opportunities to meet fun and interesting people.Creating lasting memories begin's with meeting great people.
When you venture out on dates you should refrain making any hasty interpretations of the people you meet, give it time and relax in getting to know them.Just flow with the experience.Don't get too intense with the meaning of everyone you meet.It is the experiences you live in that create actions and reactions.Being too judgemental is rigid.Being single is about learning and having fun, it is about meeting new people.Become aware of yourself and other single people.The moments are to live for.The sports activities, theater, fairs and festivals, beach and ocean, boating, fishing, cocktail parties, charitable events, dates and more dates, dinner parties, museams, day trips, travel vacations, fall foliage hikes,outdoor activities, well you get it don't you? It is awareness of life.I just love life.I hope you do.
In due time will come happy couples from this attitude so enjoy being single it is fun.Use this time to be aware of your needs, your desires.Build lasting connections.Make things happen.Relationships get built with time, not overnight, being single and social helps build the foundation.My advice is go out and socialize.My passion as a matchmaker is to help you do that.I just got off 10 phone calls in the last hour of matches I put together with all my enthusiasm, now they need to have fun and grow. I intend to inspire, give advice be there in your corner and help you navigate the dating landscape.How you do this is to have fun, socialize and connect.
John Holt
Matchmaker
Posted by John Holt on Tue, Oct 20, 2009 @ 09:21 PM
Let's get philosophical.Ready to go, here it is.I actually took a philosophy course in college titled skepticism, knowledge and reality.I am so proud to say I got an A .
Do you think in too many skeptical points of view these days? In this world we live in how could we not think skeptical, especially when deception is the order of the day.I try as hard as ever to deliver the straightforward truth and that in the dating world is realistic matchmaking and is hard sometimes because I have a heart.I put my heart and soul into this business, so my job is to deliver you from your skepticism. Why would singles be skeptical? The answers are many, here are some reasons.
1 As a whole we as a society have been lied to by elected officials, administrators with bad agendas and business people who are greedy.This has lead you down a pathway of mistrust.When you can't trust someone you are frozen from making decisions that are in your best interest.
2 You have gone to online dating sites where you were abused, lied to, you saw pictures of people who look like they did 10 years ago.You started to like someone and they pulled the rug out from underneath any progress made by simply dissapearing with no explanation.You may have had done to you in person much worse things.
3 Certain dating services may have lied to you to collect money and you got little or nothing to show for it.
4 You are simply difficult in your choosing of a match and become skeptical as to whether anyone fits with you.
So now we must gain knowledge.First of all matchmaking is not magic and everyday isn't christmas although wouldn't that be wonderful.Would it be too much to give your 2 cents and a advocate for singles empowers you to have a benefit of options that is magical.No magic in my knowledge base, sorry! I instead give you a transfusion of reality based matchmaking, my brand.The brand of tri-state dating service.Here is some basic knowledge.
1 Anyone can date anyone, no no no! it isn't true said the realistic matchmaker.You must date in your zone.In your zone or social circle exists great people, you must seek them out, dont think your dreams are reality.Confusion exists when your dreams are unattainable.
2 Knowing where your demographic zone is will help you find your like minded partners.If your fishing for rainbow trout you don't go to the herring pond.
3 Understand your personal appeal and know it has sex appeal and power if you flirt the right way.Flirting is fun.
4 Use the here and now to shape the future.Beginning to bond with someone is the essence of chemistry which is now.The future is when you invest the time to be connected doing things, talking, enjoying each other and loving each other.
5 No fussing, no whining about other singles, be eloquent and move on.
6 Understanding that relationship building could be anything further from easy, make an effort.
7 Know dating ettiquette.
8 Present yourself clear and uncomplicated.
See I imparted in you knowledge.Wow I really did it didn't I? Why because I am John Holt realistic matchmaker, my brand, my style.I love style.Now what is the reality?
An estimated 40 million or so of you fantastic wonderful folks are hoping to meet the one, that special person to share life with.It is also estimated you will spend as an entire country of singles 700 million dollars to find the special one. My job is to keep you safe, provide reality based matches, give you advice and maybe attend your wedding where I will celebrate it with enthusiasm and dance all day.I am a good dancer by the way.I keep you from frauds and tricksters and provide a community of singles who really want to be with you.I help you simplify your complicated ways of searching.I make it easy to understand who you are and the reality of who you can be with.It all then is reality, manageable, friendly and productive.The reality is you get off the nightmarish merry go round of dating.
John Holt
Matchmaker
Posted by John Holt on Mon, Oct 19, 2009 @ 11:59 AM
Everyone is well aware of the current economic situation affecting our country and the world we live in.At tri-state dating service we refuse to participate in the recession and anything negative that has to do with it.Guess what, tri state dating service is having a good year.Attitude has to do with many things that happen to us in life.Forging through the daily reminders of what is going on in this country is very important.It is like at times swimming up stream against the current.In this case against the current of disdain, excuse making, fear mongering and negative thinking.
If you are single, fear makes you parylized to do anything and the economy becomes a convienient excuse.Understanding your economic plight or at least your careful decision making process I have positioned Tri-state dating service to be an affordable option.Tri-state dating service is not thousands of dollars like some other services.
My opinion about the current economic problem is that we must find a way to join together and help promote our common goals for success.We can't look toward a corrupt gov't that has spent us into a worldwide embarrassment, a embarassment that finds us in debt to of all countries, communist china.United states has been for sale to the highest bidder by our major corporations and our elected officials for quite sometime, as a small business person I have chosen to provide you with a service that you could benefit greatly from, because a relationship of meaning has no price tag and your elected officials can't manipulate it and can't tax it.If we had straightforward talk about solutions we wouldn't be where we are today.I chose to opt out of the recession and do what it takes to thrive in this mess.Tri-state dating is having the biggest october in the history of it's 18 years of being in business. The summer had moderate growth.A steady springtime which came after a huge 1st quarter boom. Step by step meeting by meeting we have building blocks to relationships that will last taking place.If you adopt realistic matchmaking brand then you will be one of those building a future.If you have my passion for life you will succeed.If you are caught up in this negative, crooked economy of political ineptitude and corporate rip off you will go down with it as sure as I am sitting here.Corruption and greed will destroy those who promote it.Positive thinking, solution oriented action that benefits people is what service is all about.In no time at all you can begin finding someone who will be the cornerstone of your life an emotionally attached partner in life.I will then salute you as you and others will bring us out of the current economic mess.It is everyday joe and jane that will deliver us from this.I salute everyday joe and jane they are the cornerstone of my business.They are in boston and the suburbs they are business people like me who join tri-state dating service from merrimack valley mass.They are the logging workers in the berkshires, The human service workers from norwich c.t The doctors and dentists from new london county c.t the insurance people from hartford c.t The guy with the friendliest personality and the great smile from woonsocket r.i The art dealer from northern worcester county, senior citizens from cape cod, teachers and educators from 5 states. Technical professionals from the I 495 belt from wrentham to lowell mass. The lawyers from r.i the law enforcement people from c.t and mass, marketing professionals from n.y some professionals from wall street.Electronic contractors, building contractors, carpenters and electricians from 5 states.Millionaires, middle class and working class nice people all concious people.The firemen from the valley in c.t and litchfield county.The nurses in all 5 states. You are tri-state dating service, you are the cornerstone of my business, you are what I am in existense for.Right now not later is the best time to jump on this never ending bandwagon of realistic matchmaking.You are everday tristate dating patrons.I just can't wait to see who is not participating in the recession next.
John Holt
Matchmaker
Posted by John Holt on Sun, Oct 18, 2009 @ 08:43 AM
Make no mistake about it my brand is realistic matchmaking.My business has risen to prominence for that very reason.I am known as an insightful matchmaker who would rather deal with reality than foolish fairytales which will never come true.It is nice to dream however we do that best when we are sleeping.The awakening always takes place, whether we like it or not.
Make no mistake the dating industry is a multi million dollar industry that is supposed to help singles meet other singles for a variety of various different reasons.Singles meet for activities in common, friendships, social opportunities, dating seriously or casually, long term relationships, courtship , marriage and sex.I believe 25% of all the business that takes place is good for you the rest not so good.I believe in service provision from a realistic perspective.I believe I must respond to you and your beliefs and needs.This is sometimes difficult because your ideas will get you no where fast.Other times it is easy because you know who you are and who you can be with.I am a force for change in your life for the better and more positive side or I can be viewed as a man who tells you things you don't want to hear.The things I tell you that you don't want to hear is because I deeply care about your success and try to help you avoid failure.
Tri-state Dating Service is c.t , m.a, r.i, n.y and v.t I market equally to all these areas.The marketing brand is " Honest to goodness realistic matchmaking" I sell packages that are alot less expensive than those ridiculous thousands of dollars dating services.I try to provide reasonable service for a reasonable price and I guarentee the amount of people you meet.The delivery of service is not for the desperate person who can't wait for their next date, it is done based on compatibility.I also don't cater to superficial people.Most of you aren't going to date the beautiful people, your going to date the reasonably attractive and everyday look.I am truly your traveling matchmaker anxious to meet you because you represent new opportunities for my many members to meet and hopefully end up with. Can I play a major role in your life? you bet!I love hearing about engagements, dating success, marriages or just that you like the people you meet.My service Tri-State Dating Service is regional and utilizes a territory that can produce the right amount of single people looking.
Matchmaking is as old as time itself and will never go out of style.Internet online dating is dangerous, you don't know who you are dealing with.A matchmaker screens and knows who you are.The best part is you can talk to me, you can't talk to a website.This is a process, dating for relationship building is a process it is not magic.Things don't just happen overnight so desperation and anxiety are destructive.Having false images of who you can be with is foolish.Realistic matchmaking helps you focus on the reality of who you are and who you can be with, so jump off the dating merry go round and start down the path of embracing my brand " honest to goodness Realistic Matchmaking" Hope to see you soon.The bandwagon of realism is coming to your town soon.I absolutely believe in my brand.
John Holt
Matchmaker
Posted by John Holt on Fri, Oct 16, 2009 @ 11:00 AM
How juvinile can things get, well let me tell you.Just put 2 grown adults together and watch the fun, manipulation, jockeying for position and screening begin.Here is the general unwritten rule of dating matches. Men pay attention to this, When you get a phone number of a woman to call don't call right away.However please make sure you call her in 24-48 hours.Why you ask? Simple if to soon your labeled desperate and needy and if you wait to long your labeled disinterested. Isn't this interesting.It is all based on what? Some book of rules that woman read.
Telephone games can be played by both sexes, however woman do it better than men.I have seen in my time some female interrogaters that are better than the police.They get a man to spill his guts and life story on the phone in less than 2 hours.The sad part of that is that these woman remain outsmarted by themselves and alone.Keep things light and yes men after 20 minutes on the phone ask them to meet you in a public place.
My recomendation to all is not to tele-date yes tele-date a term to describe your behavior when you talk anything and everything on the phone leaving nothing to say if you actually meet, so here are my tips for phone conversation.
1 Please be easily adaptable to the other persons schedule.
2 Try to be pliable in conversation, don't be rigid.
3 Show that you are geographically maneuverable in meeting places.
4 Try to have 3-5 times you can meet and fit a schedule.
5 Show your a fun person to talk to.
6 Indicate flexibility.
7 Eliminate the need to know intimate details of your entire life.
8 Don't bait anyone into a conversation about exes.
9 Make small talk about things your compatible with.
10 Please at the end of every conversation make a date to meet and follow through.
I hope this points out the need to meet in person and attract one another.Isn't that what it is all about.Manipulation and controlling behavior are toxic to any relationship.
John Holt
Matchmaker
Posted by John Holt on Mon, Oct 12, 2009 @ 09:36 AM
Hi everyone, did you know that some of my nick names have been, southern new englands most charming matchmaker, southern new englands most realistic matchmaker which I have branded this business realistic matchmaking and I have also been called the travelling matchmaker.I travel all over connecticut, massachusetts, rhode Island three sections of new york and southern vermont.Tri-State Dating service truly is all those areas.I enjoy so much being able to meet all of you in person and that is important.I do it based on your schedule and I meet you where you are, this is convienient for you, besides that I get to go to all these towns and learn about them.I get to travel the countryside and see what is going on.I have members all over these areas mentioned.
Getting to know you is important to me it makes this a personal service not a superficial web site where games are played.I lock in on who you are and what you want.My website tri-statedatingservice.com is a place where you can get a flavor of what realistic matchmaking is all about.It is for the serious minded so my friends jump on the travelling band wagon and maybe I will see you soon, that is if your seriously interested in putting the dating merry go round in your past.Many have done it. Tri state dating truly is all of the terrotory I mentioned here in this article.What have you got to loose.I say realism is the only way to go, so perhaps you will be the next one.
Where have I been in the last 30 days, here is a list of towns.
Coventry R.I, stonington c.t, wallingford c.t, new london c.t, smithfield r.i, branford, c.t, seymour c.t, norwich, c.t, baltic c.t,East lyme c.t, east haven c.t,west warwick r.i, yalesville c.t, glastonbury c.t,east hartford c.t, cumberland r.i, milford m.a, pittsfield m.a, oakdale c.t, white plains n.y, bennington v.t, springfield v.t, woonsocket. r.i, warren r.i, boston m.a, rocky hill c.t, torrington c.t , brewstern.y, albany n.y, newington, c.t, worcesterm.a, uxbridge m.a, auburn m.a cranston r.i your town could be next.
John Holt
Matchmaker
Posted by John Holt on Sat, Oct 10, 2009 @ 10:18 AM
Did your initial experiences with online dating websites leave you thinking you were a child in a candystore.What about it, was it rewarding to just write to so many people, maybe go out and meet alot of them.What did you find out that many of them were married,lieing about who they really are, was there picture the same as they looked when you saw them? Was there an enormous let down after typing until your fingers were numb.Much worse were you conned, defrauded of money or assaulted.Did you meet some rather unstable charecters.The research suggests that these bad things are happening 40% of the time.The men are frustrated because they meet unstable woman 4 out of 10 times.The woman don't feel safe because 4 out of 10 men turn out be what I wrote about earlier in this paragraph.
Did you find out about the 29 dimensions of compatibility? They are all valid except for what was forgotten about that.Human nature, natural instincts.Joe might care about 10 dimensions while Phyllis cares about 15 dimensions and Jack cares about 20 and Sally likes 18 well you get the picture.Then what about superficial Sam who just cares about what you look like.
The whole picture depends on my interview with you, getting to know you from a nice meeting in person.I assess you based on who you are.Let's face the security issue.My assessment is that I can figure out who you are and I am capable of doing background checks.The online industry opposes that.I promote strategy based on reality based matchmaking, getting you to think about who you are and who you can really be with.
Those wonderful actress' and actors in those television commercials are just that actors and actress' who play to your emotions at the deepest level not your compatibility.The fact of the matter is we are all complex individuals with emotions, different levels of cognitive ability, opinions, lifestyle.Then it comes down to style, presentation in person, common interests and chemistry through looks and personality.I tend as a matchmaker to think personality will win out in the end but I am not naive about the looks thing going on, sex appeal and yes flirting.I also preach having fun and learning about each other in a casual fun way before the intensity begins.My 90 day rule is important for light fun.Just have fun in 90 days and see each other naturally, you just might stay with someone you would have dismissed after 1 meeting.
I understand that you for different things, what's good for George might not work for Lee or Sally.Jane might think differently than Samantha does and what about Jerry is he like Bob no Bob is different and needs a different match.I weigh all this based on you the individual.You get to talk to me.I listen to all your stuff and make assessments based on that.
Before you type yourself into arthritis online consider this, most of the time they never turn out to be who you thought they were and pictures tell no story at all.Many of you will never meet anyone online because the here today gone tommorrow pecking order is in vogue.I match you with someone and let you meet them and if there is something developing I will never introduce competition to ruin chemistry forming.So many times online you are ignored by someone.This is rude and not tolerated by matchmakers.
The other thing websites do is to keep you coming back by putting artificial profiles on there sites, yes fictitious dummy profiles.How do I know this? Back in 2005 I looked at starting an online dating website.There was a company based out of toronto, ontario, canada that sent me info indicating there software can create dummy profiles to make my site look well populated so people would think there were alot of members there.
Here are the facts.There is no magic pill anyone can give you to get the love of your life.If you use me as your matchmaker here is what to expect.
1 My full and honest assessment of your situation. I will consult with you and listen to you. I may not agree with you.
2 Customer service.I am real and you can talk to me.
3 A professional, fun interview.
4 Knowledge about dating and relationships.
5 Understanding your lifestyle and how it impacts who you meet.
6 Making judgement calls about who your attracted to.
7 Differentiating your intellectual counter parts.
8 Dealing with the ever present issues with age related dating.
9 Understanding family dynamics as it impacts relationships.
10 Understanding your social life, interactions, interests and how you have fun, vacation, travel.
11 Level of energy as it impacts who you should be with.
12 income and career matches, do you belong with each other based on your career direction.
13 Social appeal and sex appeal.
14 Excercise, sports related activity.
15 Intellectual pursuits.
16 creativity
17 Are you cultural.Into arts and humanities.
18 Political activity and beliefs.
19 Personal organization skills.
20 Your personality typing and how it impacts who you are and how it is projected to others.
21 How do you handle acceptance and rejection.
22 Realistic thinking.
23 Emotional stability and emotional thought process.
24 Level of enthusiasm.
25 Trust and identification of trust.
26 Aseertiveness.
27 Can you be a fun, fun, fun person!!!!!!!
28 Similarities in relationship goals.
29 Musical intersts are they compatible.
30 Realistic geographical dating, can you go distances to meet the right person.
Finally celebrating your confidence in who you are.
John Holt
Matchmaker
Posted by John Holt on Thu, Oct 08, 2009 @ 07:14 PM
It amazes me that people think matchmakers are only for the rich and famous.I am a matchmaker for everyone who is nice and wants to meet someone meaningful.Tell me your aspirations and I get so excited about helping you, just so long as you have a wonderful attitude.If you dream to much I tend to bring you back to reality.
Every episode of your life matters and what you learn from it goes a long way to your future success, so ladies and gentleman you don't have to be celebrity material just nice and willing.Compatibility is the key and I meet and interview everyone in person.Nothing however is very simple and I understand all the issues.I ask you is it beauty or brains, maybe both or maybe it is personality, whatever it is I look for common threads.
Just follow my leadership and I will take you out of the fog of online dating.I have been doing this since 1992 most of the time with a smile, however if your a superficial player don't bother me.I only like to work with men and woman of meaning and substance.
Let me tell you image has alot to do with this and I think you should be ready to spruce it up.Shopping for stylish clothing, taking stock in your inner charecter.Hopefully your adjusted in life and ready to go because it has never been a better time to meet people.Just be ready to embrace reality with real everyday interesting people.Do I have the wealthy , yes I also have the middle class and the working class.Many , many interesting people here.Embrace my world an meet all kinds of great and interesting people.
John Holt
Matchmaker
Posted by John Holt on Thu, Oct 08, 2009 @ 01:29 PM
It seems more evident that each day is caught in a whirlwind, before you know it the day started and ended.Each day starts with amazing complex set's of issues.
Today more than ever you need effective strategies to deal with stress and pressure, it is all around us.Did you ever think of how we got there?Perhaps this world is just headed for destruction because we can't relate well.My advice to singles is to utilize relationship partners to aleviate stress bring fun and amusement into your life together.Sharing each other as positive havens against stress and a complex society can help you cope with things much better, we all need to have pleasent escapes from the stress and pressure of daily living.This means the social solution to living better is one way to achieve your happiness.Building social networks and contacts can lead to meaningful relationships, seek them out.Networking in positive social circles is important.Experience the lighter side of life through networking, socializing and relationship building.Wouldn't things be different if we had a more lovely outlook instead of a tension filled one.We took a deep breath and pleased one another, it get's your mind right.
When you see that lovable, huggable, adorable, entertaining friend or significant other you experience feelings of joy not stress.Celebrate life with that special person it is priceless.Autumn is bright and beautiful think in those terms.Put aside the complaining and whining and search for the special person to escape this stressful world with.Look them in the eye and laugh together, escape toxicity.I genuinely mean this.The real world to me is one where people connect in positive ways.This is honest to goodness matchmaking here at tri=state dating service.Let me inspire you to escape to a more pleasant part of your lifestyle.True to life matches take place here and send you on the pathway to finding that special person to connect to escape from the complexities of todays world.Lifestyle enhancement is the goal.I hope this gives you perspective.
John Holt
Matchmaker
Posted by John Holt on Wed, Oct 07, 2009 @ 01:58 PM
Today I met with a woman who joined Tri-State Dating service.She was obviously a woman with class, a professional accomplished woman.She is atractive and stylish from r.i and I thoiught all of you men should know many of these attributes of the woman who come to tri-state as they are great qualities.Men she has beautiful blue eyes.I have woman that are in great shape and have good careers.I have woman that are great conversationalists.I met a woman the other day from r.i that signed up who I bet you all would find interesting.She could be your next best friend.Sunday night I signed up a very family oriented girl next door type from Preston c.t what a great attitude common sense and long flowing brown hair.Gentleman in your 60s and 70s I have woman who took care of themselves and are good matches for you.Many in c.t and r.i.Many of them like to travel and are active.One of the nicest woman here is from r.i and is on my search page perhaps you want to meet her.Do you like woman with outgoing personalities woman who can carry on great interesting conversations.I have these members in 5 states.Stylish classy woman who are just waiting for you.When you get right down to it it has never been a better time to meet woman here at tri-state dating service.
There are very friendly, charming, delightful and interesting woman who want to begin meaningful relationships, socialize or pursue interests.Many of these woman have interesting activities and marvelous personalities, more of these woman are woman of substance.Many woman are just fun to be with.It all starts here at tri-state dating service 800-252-6210 Let me introduce you men to the many woman at tri state oh by the way ladies you should know about the men here too.
Just me
A Realistic Matchmaker.
John Holt
Posted by John Holt on Mon, Oct 05, 2009 @ 05:26 PM
I was driving to an appointment today to meet yet another excellent female prospect when I heard on a radio talk show all about the David Letterman situation and opinions one way or another about that.The topic soon went to sleeping with supervisors or co workers.I then was driving later on and heard a talk show host so demonstrative about a place in massachusetts where men get hair cuts watch sports on television and all this is done by a sexy woman who is hot.The men just love this.I hear all the time from men How much does she weigh? What does she look like? as if anything else matters.Guess what guys, you guessed it alot more things matter.Oh I fogot what is her age as if you guys don't age just woman.Let me tell you that the most beautiful woman I have had as members at tri- state dating service hate being picked for the way they look.
Yes ladies men are visual.Some of you this drives you crazy!Sex sells and that's a fact.So how do we live in this superficial world ruled by glamour and sex?I say just try to make yourself as appealing as you can.The fact of the matter is then how does she look matters.I love it when a man who could never attain a date with a beautiful woman wont settle for anyone else and just becomes frustrated because his dreamgirl stiffed him.It is an earth shattering moment when a man loses with a beautiful looking woman.
What amazes me is that some men think sex will be great because she looks fabulous.This is not true.Great looking people can be terrible in the bedroom.
Isn't the looks thing, vanity dating, phony anyway? You bet it is.Most men get intimidated by a good looking confident woman anyway and those woman know how to see through it.Afterall you can't just sit there and look at her as if she were a portrait.
At tri-state dating service I have so many good woman for men to meet and yes atractive too, but they are woman of substance who want a relationship with a normal, confident man who can be reliable, is that you?I think if you are then you need to call me 800-252-6210 so you can meet a good woman who will excite you intrinsically and you will see the value in that and boy these ladies have it going on.No they aren't hollywood actress' although there are some who look very appealing They are authentic, exciting , appealing and stimulating woman.If your tired of the superficial meaningless nonsense then meet woman of substance.
Here is what you must be like.
1 Respectful.
2 Not be afraid of a committed relationship.
3 entertaining and fun.
4 charming.
5 Normally intelligent.
6 Honest.
7 Reliable.
8 Have a decent job or career.
If you are a man from 30-75 there are woman here for you just be chivalrous and have a truthful agenda.The mindless nonsense of having a goddess put behind you.I sometimes wonder if gaining insight into reality is important and I always answer myself of course it is.Men interested in substantial woman should do very well here.The dating landscape is full of available woman these days and now is the best time ever to locate one and start a relationship.
John Holt
Matchmaker for intelligent, intuitive men and woman.
Posted by John Holt on Sat, Oct 03, 2009 @ 03:21 PM
Did you know that only 12% of people who use internet dating sites ever find anyone they stay with, much worse it is viewed by anyone who will admit it as a candystore.In the online dating website world the candystore mentality means that you always look for another flavor.The next one is always better than the last one.This is a dating merry go round for players to enjoy.Admittedly there are 12% of you who find true love.There are 21% of you doing that at tri-state dating.
Here is how I see it, either your serious or your a casual surfer or much worse a player.Being a player is self serving for the egotistical.The internet also breeds a certain bravado of behavior such as avoidance, ignorance and generally rude mistreatment, afterall you think who will ever find you.If you think no one knows what you are doing your the naive one, you threw confidentiality out the window especially on social networking sites which by the way are full of predators mixed in with nice people, so is it a predator you might meet or a nice person.Online 40% of those people on websites are at the very least people with bad intentions, so roll the dice if you like those odds.I know your careful you torture everyone with millions of e mails before you will meet someone, is this unreasonable paranoid behavior or just being safe and what about potential employers who search the net to find out what you do.Everyone who goes on this computer who knows you follows you.It is human to be curious.This is why I keep you confidential at my service tri state dating.
Now the internet itself can be addicting, even though it is the greatest place on earth to gather information it can addict you so that you spend too much time on it.Most people who look for people on the net never end up anything other than frustrated.Worse of all it is now considered an unhealthy compulsion which many psychologists can add to there issues to deal with.The internet interferes with daily tasks, inhibits real in person social behavior causes stress among friends and family, loved ones and pollutes the workplace.Many employers have workers doing personal things on there computer while they are paying them to do a job.An addict becomes dependent on something just like a drug or gambling addiction.In the case of online dating sites people begin to have cyber relationships that comfort them actually keeping them from meeting in person.This is self gratifying temporary behavior rather than experience deeper connection in person, yes it isn't normal to just have cyberspace relationships.Preoccupation with the internet can deteriorate your other functions in life.
Many people will find in the future that internet compulsive and destructive behavior will lead an internal struggle.Inevitably in order to achieve deep lasting relationships you must connect live and in person.Cyberspace is an escape from reality and worse an escape from confronting each other in person, it creates a fantasy world where you never have to be yourself, you can be anyone you want however you will be a fraud.
People who over rely on the internet can travel down the road to destruction.I certainly think the internet is still in many ways good for certain functions, developing relationships is not one of them.I say everyone should be mindful of your attitudes toward people.Even though you think your anonomous your not.Anyone can find you if your on the net.So is online dating working, torturing you, emotionally draining you and taking up your time? For 12% it is wonderful they found love.What about the 88% left behind who were indifferent, frustrated, drained of there money in monthly fees, lied to, decieved, tricked, sexually asaulted
Posted by John Holt on Fri, Oct 02, 2009 @ 04:39 PM
It might feel awkward to hire a matchmaker to find you someone.I have known thousands of singles who felt this way and many signed up. It is more people then you think.It is becoming more trendy and popular to have me in your corner.I am your personal dating and relationship builder.Rest asure that I will focus on compatibility, your friends match you with other friends because they like you and the other person, they don't understand all the dimensions of compatibility.
Deep connection is no accident, it takes work to identify those qualities that give you a chance to connect.I don't believe in superficial nonsense if your shallow then you can't be in a relationship.I match based on charecter, compatibility, life style, appeal, personality, disposition, attitude, interests, sense of humor and personal beliefs.
Twenty one percent of all people who met me got married at tri state dating service.Fifty percent found someone to go out with longer than six months.Ninety percent found people to go out on multiple dates. I John Holt matchmaker founded this business in 1992.If your a person of substance I want you to join tri state.I am high energy and always looking to help you find the right person.I am reliable and very honest about your chances.I provide guidance and insight to you.If it is a long term relationship you want then hire me to help you find it.
Communication is the cornerstone in relationship building.Finding out who interests you is by proper communication.
If you are tired of shallowness seek refuge here at tri state dating service. I will always stand for helping you get to the committed relationship you want.I will seek to be revealing of who you are.I will try to get you to the level of satisfaction you want.It is safe here, safety for woman is paramount and to that end I meet everyone in person.Your security is important.Whether your highly selective or not allow me to asess your chances and introduce you to good people.
John Holt
Matchmaker
Posted by John Holt on Fri, Oct 02, 2009 @ 09:25 AM
Did you ever wonder why I broadcast a weekly radio show for singles.I do it mainly because there are so many issues that face single people,educating them is a service.I feel the need to bring to the air waves weekly advice, motivation, inspiration, points of view and education about all things that get you to think.Networking singles radio show is there to stimulate your thought process.
I over the 18 years as a matchmaker have seen some of the brightest most accomplished people in every aspect of their lives fail at one thing, the game of love.
It continues to be a very exciting period in my life to bring this show to you weekly.Now more than ever when we are in this tumultuous period of recession a reaching out into the examination of meaningful relationships exists.This past 2 years more of you are seriously looking for meaning in relationship as your portfolios are shrinking, jobs are in danger or lost and your govt. is failing you at any attempt to help you or be honest with you.The one thing that can't be denied is a good relationship.A good relationship that survives all this uncertainty, that one person you can depend on.Please depend on me too.I will be there each and every thursday evening 6-7 pm eastern standard time to share all issues related to you, being single and relationship advice.Listen on 1380 am wnri or stream it on the internet www.wnri.com Let's focus on this special time in our history where if anything else fails relationships will perservere.Embrace my ideas.You will find my show entertaining and informative.Many of you nice people out here are confused about the singles scene and maybe back in it unexpectedly due to marriage ending in divorce or death of a spouse, life goes on and the information you get helps you navigate the dating landscape.I also reach out to the younger singles who need guidance to find the right person to date.I just continue to be excited about networking singles which has been on the air since february of 2007.
How can you be part of my show, just listen and call in.Perhaps if your interesting enough you could be a guest.What do I look for, single interesting people with points of view.If your single and you have a point of view write me at nbayqh@aol.com you might be my next interesting guest.
I continue to seek out any relevant people who can be interviewed on my shows topics and subject matter.I also welcome business people who wish to advertise there products and services to thousands of singles.
Remember networking singles where you get compelling information on a world full of dating issues.I have more energy than the energizer bunny.I combine my energy with a no nonsense approach that has branded my business tri-state dating service " Realistic matchmaking" Helping you find your match is my goal.I create portraits of lifestyle, talk about the issues, inform you about the world of singles and dating.Listening to my show gives you perspective on my brand of realistic matchmaking.Life matters be in it with networking singles hosted by me southern new englands most realistic matchmaker and now my friends in new york and vermont can join tri state dating service.
Hopefully the information on my show will help you achieve realistic expectations.Maybe the road to your future wedding begins here.Perhaps you get insight on all dimensions of how single people think.Maybe you need some image polishing.Perhaps you need the words to communicate effectively with the opposite sex.Whatever it is being single has a plethora of issues.I offer some great information for you to ponder each week.I have been told that I provoke you to think and give you peace of mind while doing it and yes you can call me and give me a peice of your mind live on the show.I am practical and it is my pleasure to broadcast my show networking singles each and every thursday 6-7 pm 1380 am wnri or stream it www.wnri.com I look forward to your listening pleasure.
John Holt
Matchmaker and Host of networking singles