Posted by John Holt on Sun, Aug 29, 2010 @ 09:12 PM
Thank you so much, is what I am saying to one of my female members from Massachusetts. She inspired me to write this blog article. I was having a discussion with her about the shortcomings of men who just don't get it. You men need to understand that when your matched with woman you have to stay engaged in the conversation, ask them out, be interesting. The very idea of taking a match and then taking them for granted makes you dateless. Attention is what woman crave, if you don't show them attention then your history.
The many accomplishments of todays woman have caused men to slip in the workplace, academia and has caused men to behave like woman did ten years ago and now woman behave like men did ten years ago. This whether you like it or not is how it is, so if you get it you can step up and dare to be who you are. The very idea that we should simply be us is a great idea. Stop following the grand ideas of Madison ave. The images that market to your sense to be anyone other than yourself. I love my life, I am who I am a very social, athletic, cerebral man full of never say die attitude. I want to be contagious to you. I think you should be a part of realistic matchmaking. I can applaud you if your real and you get it. What you need to get is that you are what you are and be damn proud of it. The hell with anyone who doesn't like it.
A matchmaker can take you to the door , knock on it and get you in. Once your in you must dazzle the prospect with your best version of you. I then say to you that this will take over and yes you are date able. I say everybody can make a social contribution, stop and listen to everyone and engage them, learn, understand, embrace and be enthusiastic about it, otherwise you just don't get it, your all confounded in lack of confidence. Isn't it time that you knew that respect for other people is going to give you favor, if you don't then you don't get it, do you understand that blaming anyone but yourself for your shortcomings is wrong or don't you get it.
When you leave on a date and get out there make yourself known as charismatic, consume your date with appeal don't shrink in front of anyone or don't you get it. Your prime time for your date, let them know it, shrinking in fear of rejection is like doing a dance with the grim reaper, you know where you going when you dance with him. Dance as if you were reborn and make a great impression so they get it. What they get is that your interesting and ready to be viable, not shrink into obscurity, don't you deserve who you want to go out with, don't you get it.
Isn't it time to say no to the rotten negativity pounded into your head about our economic nightmare, so what, is there anything we can do, you bet, we just wont participate in it, instead we will get it, which is to pursue the attainable and enjoy the hell out of it. I enjoy all of life, so if you get it you'll do the dance of life and be in it, if you don't get it you'll shrink into miserable depression.
What is realistic matchmaking? It is relief for frustration, it is the antacid you take to clear up your Madison ave image tummy. It is the thinking that helps you get it. Realistic matchmaking is a movement it is viral and is spreading all over N.Y, V.T, M.A., R.I AND C.T it is where people come to the realization that they are good for someone who really wants them. Working with me, your matchmaker a strategy is born. It is time for you to get it and control your destiny. The time to get it is now and find meaning in the opposite sex. It is time for men to be men again and stand up and be counted, be viewed as confident, stop whining, become committed. The time to be counted is now. The time to get it is now. The woman need to embrace men, applaud men and build confidence with men. It is time men paid attention and connected instead of shrink into the past. Maybe all this empowerment is good for both sexes, talk to me I will empower you. I think men need woman and woman need men, stop the competition and get on the track to getting it. Does this all sound to good to be true, just talk to me I will send you into realistic matchmaking, unravel your thinking and yes, you will get it, because maybe you don't. You'll wonder why you ever managed without this philosophy og just getting it. I will see your bulb go off in your head as you get it. You won't be disappointed after you get it, you'll be empowered. Try to imagine the alternative, which is ignorance of the pathway to success.
I know that getting out of bed in the morning is an opportunity to spread my idea everywhere and watch it work. You to can get it if you think about what I write about. Don't miss the opportunity to get it, to feel it , to grasp it, to tackle it in your mind. You being you is wonderful, take no backseat. Don't hesitate to go meet who you want to meet. Try giving many a chance instead of being stuck up. When you forgo the pleasure of life your just waiting to die. A winning decision is to learn, promote, have a plan and go get what you want, talk to me, tell me about you and I will promote you to the worthy singles who will then meet you, never mind all the nonsense you have created to screen everyone out creating years of isolation, most of it will never matter. Dance with the opposite sex instead of running away from them, embrace commitment and then yes you will be someone who gets it. Act now in your life and stop the excuses, tell yourself your with it because you get it, your someone to know, tell them why they should know you. Interested in my thinking? intrigued by my attitude? Convinced that minutia of detail and excuses keep you in the fog of isolation. Then embrace me and get it.
John Holt
Matchmaker
Posted by John Holt on Wed, Aug 25, 2010 @ 08:59 PM
Trying to justify using A matchmaker? Maybe you'll just take the risk of doing on line dating. Perhaps you will try many ways of meeting people. Whatever you do you must become educated to the process of finding people. My value is that of a great communicator with educational value, just look at all these blog articles, check out my broadcasts as southern new England's most realistic matchmaker, all the business networking, telephone calls, e mails. I am connected to you everywhere you are not to mention linked in and twitter, well I guess I just did. My value to you is the voice of reason. I constantly remind you quality is better than quantity. I remind you to have fun in life and in dating. The greatest pieces of advice come from me in the idea that reality and facing it is the only way to go.
I am focussed on your needs. I wont mismatch you. I have the courage to ask you to wait for the right person, to get a life and live it, not to worry about being alone.
I the matchmaker am the undisputed leader of energy in 5 states, traveling to meet you in person, spreading realistic matchmaking brand from Boston to New York city. Boston to Albany n.y all over C.T and in southern V.T. at reasonable prices. Keeping you away from those overpriced dating services.
This is my value to you my unique proposition which enables you to become aware that help is around the corner. Nobody beats value like me. Tri-State Dating Service run by a real matchmaker, you can't talk to a website, there is no customer service there. I am a welcome addition to the lives of reasonable singles who have a grip on reality. I understand all the many variables that go into matching people. I am not afraid to spend time with you regarding the complexity of this. There has never been a better time in your precious life to know me and watch me become aware of you. I am there for strategy sessions when frustration builds. I am the voice of positive reason leading the cheer. I am the man who told you not to give up. I am there to alleviate your frustration to encourage you. I am there to promote all my members to the other members. I represent you. It's only a matter of time before you end up with someone meaningful, it's the journey that is tough. I am here to relieve your loneliness and help you to succeed. I am the man traveling all over your state meeting my new members so you can end up matched, it is a tireless pursuit of finding more and more people to matriculate into my membership. I educate the skeptical. I move you to be energized. I end your pity party. I rescue you from the doomsday society we live in .
Make an assessment of my brand realistic matchmaking, figure it out. My invitation to you is here, where are you spending the last summer weekend, alone or with someone. My business is having the heart of a giant in an energizer frame.
Focus on my brand realistic matchmaking. My value to you is eliminating frustration, the kind that exists when you chase false dreams. When you think of me think of a friend who needs to give it to you straight. Think of me as your path to success. What you should expect is individual strategy. I analyze hundreds of unlike situations and make sense out of them. My brand realistic matchmaking is performing, rescuing the frustrated and bringing them to success. romance replaces drama at Tri-State Dating Service. I eliminate toxic attitude. I fight the battles and overcome the nay sayers. I rescue you from wandering blind through a psychological maze, yes that is me, your matchmaker. I recognize the limitations of strategies based on narrow perspective. Focus on my message, my brand realistic matchmaking and meet people who get it.
Just Me
Your Matchmaker
John Holt
Posted by John Holt on Wed, Aug 18, 2010 @ 09:17 AM
Everyday the drumbeat of negativity rushes into your brain, your told the country is imploding by talking heads on the radio and on television. Not me, not the host of networking singles radio show. I am telling you not to participate in the recession, to examine your personal growth. I am telling you to go forward and revive your personal life, create social networks to start treating each other well. I am dealing pro actively with singles as a matchmaker to help them succeed. I am saying to you, please be confident! Get rid of the impediments, roadblocks, stop inhibiting yourself.
The most attractive targeted goal today during economic strife is advancing your personal growth goals. Isn't it time if your single to promote yourself and allow a matchmaker/radio talk show host promote you to other singles, success is acquiring tasteful singles to meet, greet and socialize with. Then you can become connected with one of those singles in a long lasting relationship.
A smart person can see that now is the time to put the portfolio away, let it rest, yes you I am talking to you. Please stop worrying about this. It is all paper losses. Many of you wont need it for more than a decade or two, stop quivering in fear. If we all end up in the street, which we wont , all we will have left is each other to talk to. No one can take away basic human instincts, which is to connect with each other. The reality in the alternative is depression, being depressed is terrible and it doesn't feel good either, does it?
Time to overhaul your social life. Good business here at tri-state dating service is that I am in the trenches with you.
Confidence is attractive and you need to develop confidence and sustain it, the dividends in personal growth, acquiring friends, even economic gains will result from confidence. Go, network with people become a solid confident fixture in social circles. I wake up everyday as the catalyst for promoting you, promoting one single person to the other from Boston to New York city. From Providence to Worcester, from Boston to Springfield, from Providence to Hartford, from Hartford to Albany, from providence to Brattleboro, southern new England's most realistic matchmaker traveling to you, meeting you in person, instilling confidence daily. My message is that confidence works, confidence is attractive. Step up to the plate, refuse to participate in the recession, don't allow cumulative losses in economic status become depressing and then you will surely be defeated and in a state of oblivion. Running from reality scared is defeat. Confidence is the key. I am the captain an entrepreneur steering the ship through the storm. I run from no challenge, nothing defeats me and nothing will stop me from the daunting task of creating relationships.
Confidence is a state of mind you think you are and you become what you think. When entering a room full of people make eye contact and walk as if you have purpose, wow your thinking I'm scared to do that. People are just that, people like you. If you dont succeed keep trying you will win.
John Holt Matchmaker is a big catalyst in the dating industry a man with confidence and a vision for developing you. Promoting you, matching you, setting up dinner parties for you, finding people for you. This is an intimate partnership where I understand the inner being that is you. Time to develop confidence, time to stop running from reality time for becoming confident.
Time to join the motivational bandwagon, leave the gloom and doom and move to confidence. It's never been a better time to look for other people as social friends, support groups, dating, socializing, relationship building and connecting in a lifetime relationship, look at the good in people. The economy is what it is, social growth, personal growth, confidence is the examination that will produce results. If I were broke today I would be personally rich.
Stop responding to the pressure. The time to sleep well is here. Why , because you will become confident, meet someone or allot of people who will enrich you personally. This the economy can't affect.
The hottest idea in town is realistic matchmaking. My ideas are contagious. This is a movement not just a cliché. Smashing the nay say, gloom and doom talking heads rhetoric. My radio show networking singles heard on 1380 am wnri or streamed at www.wnri.comon Thursdays est. 6-8 pm and on Saturdays from 4-5pm on newstalk 104.7 wxlm fm is the place to hear the counterpoints. This broadcast is the one that gives you different perspective, join me, call into the show and say hello. Tri-state dating service has great prices, take advantage in this bargain basement economy. Time to put confidence in action, stop putting off feeling good about yourself again. It is in vogue to hire a matchmaker, especially one with my energy. I am confident, in you and in me. The brand realistic matchmaking is knowing who you are and who you can be with it is my energy behind the brand that is the catalyst, so stop stressing out of your mind about economics, be well, gain personal strength. I will buzz the population with ideas like this. I will travel everywhere to promote the movement. Isn't it time to become confident!
John Holt
Matchmaker
Posted by John Holt on Mon, Aug 16, 2010 @ 10:46 AM
In times like this you can either become totally caught up in the dichotomy of gloom and doom or you can examine ways to personally grow. I just got off the phone with one of my marvelous woman clients, she is 29 years old, attractive, well educated and smart, she gets life, she understands many personal growth issues. The time has come to escape the self fulfilling prophecy, yes the cottage industry known as scaring the public about the economy. How do you do this? By deciding to look at personal growth.
The time is here to focus on social connection, find and make friends, expand your social circles and start looking for meaningful relationships that will be forever. More and more men these days are superficial it is a picture and all about looks, when in fact they don't realize that they aren't exactly the compliment to who they covet. In my opinion there is allot to love about many of the woman in this service, now on the flip side there are good men out there. Understanding the idea about personal growth is about the realization of human development. This type of development has nothing to do with your portfolio, your job and your economic status. This is starting to take a look at how you interact with people and examining what makes you grow personally. To become a winner in personal life it takes looking at the inner being of who you are and who you want. I feel that you must adopt a no non sense approach to better living, this idea of personal growth development takes you to the next level of success, to build for a real future, the superficial is what wears off and leaves you empty, you have no soul, you are not fulfilled and the economic stuff, much of it is out of your control. The best path to success in todays toxic economic environment is to grow personally. Perhaps you feel better if your interactions are positive, money is just what gets you things, happiness comes from within, connection from within builds strong relationships. Becoming functional in the personal interaction area means growing personally, taking stock in what would make things better for you personally.
Dating, being matched with great people is a part of personal growth. I spread love all over the planet. I'm not selling tangible items. I am a matchmaker, a service provider. I provide the service to people who need to meet other people for relationships. I provide guidance to my members, advice in a educational manner. I do this so accomplishment of building relationships multiply. Please begin to examine where you are and grow personally become meaningful to someone and less superficial.
John Holt
Matchmaker
Posted by John Holt on Sun, Aug 15, 2010 @ 01:25 PM
In a very alarming number of stories our illustrious mainstream media is pounding the gloom and doom drum. Driving home the idea that deflation, double dip recession, continued job loss coupled with unemployment related job loss. The worse of it all it is alarming consumers into frugal behavior. Please let me warn you, balance is the key, spend wisely and save money at the same time.
Single people need to be fulfilled in a meaningful relationship. The idea of happiness for many of you is to be made whole in a wonderful relationship. The reverse of meaningful happiness is depression, you could be headed for an economic and psychological period of depression, don't let it happen to you.
A positive supportive social network that keeps you psychologically well is important. Many of us out here have no real control. I wake up everyday and charge forward, everytime I encounter negativity I turn my energy level up, put in in high gear and work to destroy negative ideas.
In this ever lingering economic problem matchmakers have been in demand, people need to look outside economics to other wellness issues in life. So if the economy is making you unhealthy with anxiety it is time to look at doing things to make you feel well. One thing you can do is find a loving person who you can talk to and have fun with. The media will turn you into a high risk psychological basket case if you continue to listen to it, it is time to decide to be well to treat yourself to things that matter emotionally and are not tied to the gloom and doom.
Let's focus on emotional wellness, let's embrace the idea that connection with the opposite sex can bring this wellness to your psyche. I think I can change your outlook. I want you to embrace my organization to help lead you to a place where at the very least your insulated from the economic gloom and doom.
It is now in vogue to be hiring a matchmaker. The matchmaker gives you perspective, safety, security and someone to talk strategy, impliment strategy. I am devouted to your well being. If I get to the heart of who you are I can place you with who you can be with. No amount of money on earth can be used as a measure for healthy happy outlook. Stress from economic bad news daily needs an escape. It is a known fact that couples live longer than singles, a matchmaker is a healthy option a friend a professional defining strategy with you. The very sensation of chemistry that is flowing can be promoted and moved forward as the matchmaker has a vision for you. I as a matchmaker pay attention to what should be best for you.
I travel main street america all over C.T, R.I, N.Y., M.A., and V.T., giving you all my knowledge, helping you to be a vibrant person. I am contagious and will grow on you. I think you can see my spirit, no economic news will ever break my spirit. I have a sense of daily purpose. I want you to have person and become liberated to the gloom and doom. I do not care about what the bad news merchants are selling. I am selling the antidote for that. Learn and be educated to my brand, realistic matchmaking the fastest growing common sense philosophy in dating. Word of mouth popularity spread by my radio show on news talk 104.7 wxlm fm New London C.T 4-5 PM saturdays on 1380 AM wnri woonsocket R.I 6-8 PM thursdays. I will affect your pursuit of a love life if you come in contact with me. Crawling into a whole depressed will stifle your personal growth and you won't like how you feel. Participate in moving forward not in doubt.
John Holt
Matchmaker
Posted by John Holt on Tue, Aug 10, 2010 @ 12:41 PM
The way we all behave affects the perceptions of many who are critical in their choice of who they will date. There are certain ways to behave that will help you be successful in dating. Gaining momentum in the dating process is coming to a full understanding of who you are and who you can be with, knowing what attracts them to you and what about you attracts potential dates. I John Holt professional matchmaker have been in the dating trenches with you for over 18 years. I know what works and I know why you fail.
Developing habits that will prove to be successful is a wise idea.
Successful daters have a way about them a confidence in every approach. Over time the confident dater, a person who flirts well, a person who avoids booby trap questions is successful. The successful dater understands dating is a game, a test. The successful dater knows how to pass the test. Understanding the tricks of the opposite sex will keep you ahead of the game.
Success comes with confidence, positive outlook and understanding. The successful dater knows how to have fun.
Making changes in your strategy starts here at tri-state dating service where we will not nay say, we will not be toxic and most importantly we do not participate in the recession and all the negativity that goes with the pounding media messages, here we become proactive we develop strategy and we put action behind it. I don't talk a good game I practice it, for real, with you. Making progress toward your goal which could be, having new friends, developing a social network, dating people, talking to other singles, pursuing a long term relationship or possibly hearing the song " Here comes the bride" We begin by incorporating who you are with the formulation of who you can be with. This is the cornerstone of my brand " Realistic matchmaking"
I will help you figure out what you possess in characteristics that are attractive. I will then point you in a direction that works. I wont placate you and set you up to fail. I'm in your best interest, not a yes man who tells you what you want to hear so you can remain single. The most important thing is to live life, be happy and be seen as such a person. This is attractive. When you become ready it will be time to take a hard inner review of yourself. This means no whining about being single, no whining about it's all everyone else's fault. The time for action is positive action, then and only then you can pack up your troubles and move on to a very positive future with someone great by your side. This means build on your positive habits and discard your negative habits. Below is a list of positive dating habits. See if you are doing any of these.
1 You put the needs of your date above your own needs.
2 You never throw away info from a conversation with the opposite sex, you store it mentally and learn from it.
3 You never exhibit angry, stressful behavior coupled with high anxiety.
4 You devote time to yourself to exercise and make yourself look good.
5 You learn what it takes to be pleasing to the opposite sex.
6 Your decisisive, you have a plan for fun things to do on a date.
7 Set your goals realistically, if your getting no for an answer too many times ask out another kind of person, different from them.
8 Recognize what turns your date on, what do they like.
9 Always appear to be comfortable in conversation by simply being yourself not any contrived idea of who you might be.
10 Seek out positive social circles and friends who support your idea of finding someone.
11 Know what your goal is an find those to date with the same goal in mind.
12 Expect to get a second date with confidence, ask with confidence.
13 Don't be a pushover, if you don't agree be polite and don't turn yourself into a doormat to be walked all over.
14 Dont feel bad if your rejected, go right back out there and try with someone else. In this dating pool there will always be someon else.
15 Being negative will only attract negativity, be positive, your then a magnetic personality, drawing them in.
16 Be totally aware of other's perceptions of you and work to eliminate the negative perceptions.
17 Dating someone 3-4 times is better than once, you get a better feel for someone and you might just stay with them instead of needlessly casting them aside.
18 Seek support from those in the know. They can help you if you need it. I am always available for strategy and advice.
19 Practice good hygiene.
20 Make the call promptly to the opposite sex, if you procrastinate you will remain alone, you send an I dont care message when you don't call soon.
21 Dont give in to stereotypes, they form in many cases wrong opinions.
22 Stay away from toxic people.
23 Flirt with a playful sense of purpose it is sexy and fun.
24 Open, inviting body language is an attractive trait, so smile, smile, smile.
25 Try many different ways to meet people it all should pay off.
Finally please don't listen to this toxic media about the recession any more you cant control it so choose not to participate in it, if I can get you into a meaningful relationship it should be worth more than anything else to you.
John Holt
Matchmaker
Posted by John Holt on Fri, Aug 06, 2010 @ 10:05 AM
Welcome to the world of reality. I am glad you joined me today. Realistic matchmaking is about helping singles face up to current issues in dating. The strategy is clear once it actually is developed. I provide along with dates, dinner parties to go to and searches I do a unique learning experience. Singles must be educated on process, so what is going these days.
Woman are facing the challenges of the male who is ambivalent and more visual than ever, many of you will not likely change or enhance your appearance to the point where many more men are going to get overly excited, however you can do many things that will help.
1 Smile allot at men, you might get a positive response leading to a date.
2 Loose the extra pounds, it isn't easy, it takes work and discipline.
3 Ask a man out. I know your all shaking your fist at this one. In todays climate of uncertainty it is ok to do this.
4 Settle for the less attractive nice guy who treats you well, being treated well is a good thing.
5 Change your hairstyle.
6 Frequently attend activities that eligible men are attending.
It is a challenge to be on the hunt, woman are now on the hunt and looking harder these days than men, remember this, they still can't live without you.
Todays man is confused in certain numbers, he doesn't know what it takes to gain approval. Many years have beaten him down. The picky, unrealistic criteria many woman use to give acceptance created a very anointed perception, as if men were kneeling to royalty. The princess, queen like atmosphere is the perception.
Todays man must regain his place in the dating pool, how he is doing this is to pay attention to beauty before anything else. I am not saying other things don't matter. If you talk to men like I do you will find out deep down emotional stability is very important. Many of you should be aware that drama queens are toxic to men. The older men above 55 years old are looking for nice, calm, simple living woman who are attractive, no complications.
Both men and woman have made this dating process extremely difficult and complicated for each other. I would love to fill a room up with single men and woman so I could moderate issues and teach men and woman to like each other again. There is allot of bad will in what used to be the good natured battle of the sexes.
Please start to tear down the criteria that makes no sense for anyone other than 4% of the very most beautiful rich people on earth. My advice to all of you is pay less attention to the reality dating shows that are all about theater of the mind, embellishing false stereotypes, perpetuating dreams that are fairy tales, let reason, logic and common sense supersede the reality dating show nonsense, let's get human, less plastic, less hollywood.
Getting real is what I suggest to all of you, many of the woman aren't getting the total package as charm, charisma, looks and wealth. Most of you guys aren't getting glamour babes, models and gorgous woman. It isn't the plush, ornate world for many. Once you get to the realization of this a new world of dealing with imperfect but highly acceptable people is really quite appealing, we are imperfect beings, spending years chasing an idealistic dream will frustrate you and you can't get those years back.
Previous baggage is around, especially if your past 35 years old. Stuff happens, you are being viewed based on how you handle it. I say to all of you, try to understand the feelings of others and guide them over the hurdle of past relationships, don't just throw them away.
Many of you become sad and melancholy about the holiday season. The summertime is the time you can start being with someone so your not alone in the holiday season, now is best, in the good old summertime.
Change is difficult, however it may very well be in order, that your previous attitudes have caused you to form patterns that keep you single, to be blunt, your definitely your own worse enemy.
I ask many of you readers of this blog, what are you doing to change? Maybe you can write your ideas in the comment box.
Many of you use a bargain basement attitude about finding someone. This is great at Wal-Mart this is not that wise when seeking members of the opposite sex. Quite often it is the idea that a deal is a deal. The idea is to believe in and hire a competent matchmaker or attend events that attract singles your able to succeed with.
Social activity should be expanded and you need to showcase your personality in social settings, this means get away from the computer and get out to real social activities, live and in person. This is where you connect, this is where you are seen and heard, no pictures it's you in totality. In these situations you and all of you is showcased. The Internet is addicting, go to the beach and meet someone, gt out there, at my dating service I tell you to get out and meet your match, go to the fun dinner parties and meet, talk to each other, make a connection. Time on earth is precious don't become addicted to the Internet. The world in person is magnificent just reconnect with it.
The laws of attraction in action suggest that like attracts like, so if you become positive then you will attract positive energy, negative attracts negative energy. This isn't confusing unless you make it that way. Many of you have. I am the counterweight to the nonsense connect with me in reality, get away from the media images, many of you 96% of you aren't those images, know who you are and who you can be with, you will be happier that way.
John Holt
Matchmaker/ Prepared to deal with your issues.
Posted by John Holt on Wed, Aug 04, 2010 @ 02:38 PM
Ethics are absent in many corners of this market place. When you deal with dating services be prepared to sign a contract which should be a balance of fairness to both consumers and the business, then don't forget if your not happy to read and reread what you agreed to. A good matchmaker is ethical is invested fully in your well being and does not placate you or sugar coat speech to give you a false sense of yourself. An increase in value in using a dating service is for you to learn about yourself and have access to a pool of candidates.
The singles demographic is progressive currently toward using a dating service. Security, helpful interactions and strategy are the reasons services thrive today. You might say I as a matchmaker is a marriage market intermediary.
There are many ways to meet people however success and security comes with brand awareness and my brand is realistic matchmaking, men and woman see opportunities from discussions they have with me from boston to new york and everywhere in between.
I have chosen a multi media approach to starting brand awareness with you it's called personal connection through networking singles radio show and my blog articles.
The industry as a whole lacks continuity in a code of ethics which must be defined more clearly. The attitude is to beat one another to the next member instead of collaborative discussions about fixing issues. The biggest issue today is dealing with men. The next biggest issue is ethics in sales, marketing and communications.
The demand portion of the market place is healthy. The singles population is booming it comprises 51% of all people. The rally is being fed by the cultural boom to find good feelings in human relations as opposed to material value, why because they economy is still terrible and uncertain, you the consumer are still nervous so you look for your inward feeling which is made good by a viable relationship. Your discretion is widely to spend money in your invested well being for the future , hence forth a rally in this market with gains in the past 3 years that are significant.
A distinct advantage in a non trusting world is to have a screener yes matchmakers screen, on line services do not. Accuracy is very important, however you must be patient to get accurate matches, this is a big problem in the dating service market, consumers willing to wait for accuracy.
John Holt
Matchmaker
Posted by John Holt on Wed, Aug 04, 2010 @ 09:06 AM
When I say woman lament I'm not kidding. The current trend is dealing with very difficult men in larger numbers. I search for men who are reasonable and realistic these days. I have little tolerance for superficial men who could never get dates with the woman they want. The woman they want would laugh at them as they reject them time and time again. I understand to a reasonable degree that men are visual. What men don't realize is the most gorgeous most attractive woman hate being chosen for superficial reasons. Guess what, all you picture loving guys out there have chased many quality woman from inter net web sites, guess where you chased them to, you guessed it, a competent matchmaker like me. So many woman have told me stories about men who picked them out in on line dating sites only to find out after 2 hours together that he didn't know anything about her profile, why, because he didn't read it. He didn't read it because all he cared about was the picture. I have seen pictures here at my service that make people look better than their natural self and those that didn't. Pictures are snapshots, they don't convey feelings, project personalities, tell you about interests they are just pictures. My advice to men is get real, woman aren't cattle they aren't up for auction. The world of dating is cruel and picking and choosing can be difficult on the psyche. By the way guys the online dating industry has lost 19% of the market share since 2005.
Woman got smart and hired matchmakers for security purposes, did you know that never since the day I statred tri-state dating service in 1992 has there been one report of any harm coming to a woman. Not one incident. The inter net sites don't want to know who is there, all the stories coming out about assault, fraud, deception and abuse made woman security concious.
Another thing woman are conscious about is connecting with a professional who can pick the right man and screen out the wrong one. The results are in here at Tri-State Dating Service, I have the best quality woman in this membership since I started this business and men need to begin to see that.
The dating service industry as a whole has grown throughout the recession, why, because humans crave contact with the opposite sex, your portfolio was in the dumpster, you didn't know if you would work another week so you paid attention to your love life. During this cycle many of you were taken advantage of. Some of these services would tell you anything you wanted to hear to get your money. Just yesterday I turned people away from here because I could not help them for various reasons. It is important to recognize this and not be greedy. Many of you have overpaid for services, thinking that thousands of dollars will produce the right people, this is a fallacy, all services have similiar clientele. My clients are everyone from extermely wealthy to working class, my clients are nice people who I can trust.
The dating service industry has a problem with trust and credibility. Both the service providers and the consumers are responsible for this. That's right the consumer is responsible just as much as the provider. The providers need not tell you anything in the way of promises that can't be kept, yet many of them do, the fact of the matter is that there are no guarentees in dating, how can you guarentee how humans will behave. Dating services should not be commodity sales operations, they are not retail business operations where you bend over backwards to fix a customers problem that is based on merchandise. This is where your dealing daily with people you have no control over. The consumer in this business brings to the table issues, baggage and problems, there is rejection to deal with. Many times the consumer is unrealistic about who they want to date and quick to blame the matchmaker when they can't get what they will never have.
Love is a lightning rod and oh by the way everyone looks good after 50 when the truth is we are all aging so cut out the ageist nonsense. I see so many men and woman trying to date younger because they can't face up to their age. You bring on more frustration by doing this.
Many of you are going to speed dating where you can be at your superficial best, in 5 minutes of meaningless conversation you can mask why you really did it, which is to pick them based totally on looks.
Special events are great to attend, if your not finding people there you wont, as much of the same people return.
The matchmakers market has expanded. We have experienced high growth. The growth is because people want to trust the one who screens people. Please understand a more serious person goes to a matchmaker. The matchmaker today has allot to deal with as the problems of the world come to them with each client. The matchmaker who thinks they can dodge this is fooling themselves. I get personal and right down to business with my clients and yes I must tell them things they don't want to hear.My brand is realistic matchmaking, leave your fairy tales home. You should expect that a thorough self assessment of yourself is a benchmark for a successful relationship, if you don't know yourself then how can you know anyone else.
Here is what is needed in all of this.
Straight talk to men and woman about who they are and who they can be with. This means men need to begin to view woman as humans not cattle at an auction. Woman need to choose men based on how well they will be treated, not how much money they have. The plain truth must be spoken to singles that these dreams are nonsense that reality is the basis for success. There should be nothing but the truth told to each prospective client who joins about there chances. The matchmaker must be candid and the consumer must listen. This should all be based on the truth and done with your security in mind, not based on a picture.
I believe that style and personality is what matters so the industry is growing, my service is growing rapidly, you make the choice.
John Holt
Matchmaker
Posted by John Holt on Mon, Aug 02, 2010 @ 08:34 PM
Well folks, can I get you away from texting, tweeting, linking in or up or whatever, perhaps you can get away from the face book wall for a minute. Hey you, yes you, can you shut off the I pod and put the blackberry away. Oh yes, please check your wallet to see if there is anything left in it, not to mention your bank account from buying all this stuff and subscribing to it. This can turn your brain into cyber slush. I forgot, on line dating sites where among the good people you can meet are some seriously dangerous ones. Oh well maybe we all can go to craigs list and blackball them all, you know, get real even with them.
The internet and the technological age is shaping our lives more than ever before. I think we are all becoming robotic, dehumanized people. There are many people who lack in social skills and can't connect in person when they actually are stripped of technology and must actually rely on their own social instincts.
I as a matchmaker feel a strong sense of sending you to charm and charisma school where you learn the old graceful art of face to face meaningful connection, no I don't mean writing hugz in slang in an instant message on the computer. I'm talking real body hug's they are better, trust me. Feeling a body up against the other one beats inter net hugz hands down.
Have we all gone mad? This techno craze is a giant money making scheme, even I have to use it to communicate, although I love face to face meetings, they tell me the real story. Perhaps you'll come out someday and meet me in person and do the dance of real human communication face to face with southern new englands most realistic matchmaker, thousands of people have done it. I have first hand experience with assessment of your dating needs. I help you face people in person. My competence will help you escape the land of cyber nonsense. My imagination just runs wild when I think about the possibilities that two people can achieve when they meet one another in person and have nothing else to share but themselves.
In cyberspace there is no real finesse no way to judge being special, it's an email or an instant message and so long. After all you don't want anything to slow you down like hmmmm maybe each other, just get on to the next 500 people you need to taxt, send messages to and instant message, maybe it is off to the chatroom where you never really see who your chatting with. Much worse you don't really no who they are. I ask is this proficiency? The time you spend doing this takes you away from the summer breeze, the walk on the beach. It takes you away from the beat, the rhythm of what two people do to start romancing each other, because my friends it isn't real. Technology was meant for easy communication, not unhealthy addiction. How many of you have embraced yourselves in total natural environments these days or are you gawking at cyber pictures of nature. Someday when I'm fishing on lake champlain seeing the beauty of where I am I will think about you.
John Holt
Matchmaker/ bravo to reality.